PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON
by MariotheHero
Summary: It's a Story of Peach and how she become Sailor Moon. It also has cameo of characters from other game series.
1. Episode 1

**EXT: SPACE**  
There is just some stars in the picture. As the voiceover continues, various views of the planets and scenes of the places are shown.

**VOICEOVER:** For the benefit of those wise people who do not know Sailor Moon, I shall tell you a story. A long time ago, there was a great empire of a thousand years that lived on the moon. They were called the Silver Millennium and they ruled the entire solar system, making quite a fuss of it despite the fact that our solar system is the equivalent of a molecule sized needle in a planet sized haystack. Regardless, their empire was a powerful one, self-sustaining and stable.  
Each planet in the system had a royal family of it's own, and the eldest daughters of these families were the bodyguards of the princess of the Moon, Princess Serenity. The Sailor Senshi, as they were known, commanded strong magical powers and were among the most powerful beings in the solar system, although the Princess and the Queen outclassed all of them. The Sailor Senshi took their name from the ridiculously skimpy sailor-like costumes they wore - there is an unwritten rule that the more important a leader is, the stupider their guards' uniforms are. The Senshi didn't have it as bad as the Swiss Guard, but they did have to put up with miniskirts.

As it's name implies, the Silver Millennium ruled for over a thousand years... until a revolt broke out on Earth under Queen Beryl of the Dark Kingdom. Earth did not have a Senshi, and Prince Endymion was on the moon attempting to woo Princess Serenity, so Earth fell and the revolt quickly spread to the Moon. Prince Endymion and the Sailor Senshi fought hard to protect Princess Serenity, but to no avail. Eventually the prince and princess both fell to the Dark Kingdom's attacks, as did the Senshi. The Dark Kingdom was defeated eventually, but not before it achieved its goal, the end of the Silver Millennium.  
Queen Serenity (not to be confused with her daughter Serenity JR) survived the battle, and soon discovered the Princess and her friends' dead bodies. The Queen used the last of her strength to send them all to be reborn in another time, with no memories of what had happened. But since she had to use the Ginzoushou, or Silver Plot Device, to achieve this she died shortly afterwards.  
Thousands of years later, the Sailor Senshi, Prince Endymion and Princess Serenity are living happily after being reincarnated... well mostly happily. Endymion's had a bit of a rough time of it, but that's another story. What's important right now is that the Dark Kingdom has reappeared, and is having another try at the galaxy domination thing...

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 1: "Lunacy in Mushroom Kingdom! Peach's bizarre transformation."

By Matthew O'Connell

**THE TV ROOM**  
Mario and Peach are in TV Room.

**PEACH:** Uh, Mario... what's happening now?  
**MARIO:** I'm not sure.  
**PEACH:** Where's Luigi?  
**MARIO:** Luigi gone to McDonald's today, we'll have to walk to School.  
**PEACH:** Walk? Walk! At this rate (looks at watch) we'll have to RUN! (She grabs Mario's hand) C'mon, Mario, we're late already!

Peach sprints off, dragging Mario with her.

**MARIO:** Urk!

**CUT TO:**

**MARIO AND PEACH RUNNING.**  
Suitable fast-paced music, Mario and Peach run along, avoiding all sorts of obstacles and so on. After about 15 seconds, Peach glances into the car park next to a pre-school nursery, and sees a group of small boys teasing what looks like a black cat. She skids to a halt, but Mario continues towards school.  
Peach approaches the boys.

**PEACH** (angry): Hey, you little brats! Leave that cat alone!

She rushes toward the kids, and they scatter. She gets the cat - it's black, and has some band-aids stuck on it's forehead in an X shape. The cat claws at the band aids, trying to get them off.

**PEACH:** Hey, relax kitty... did those bad boys put these band-aids on you? Here, I'll get them off.

She peels off the band-aids. A white crescent moon is under them. As it is shown, the cat's eyes open wide and it looks directly at Peach. She's startled and drops the cat. It lands on its paws for an instant and then does a backflip about 7 feet up into the air, landing on a car roof. And it stays there, looking closely at Peach.

**PEACH** (Weirded out): O...Kay... well, glad to see you're better now. (Starts to turn away, to self) Weird cat. (Sudden panic) Oh no! Now I'm even later for school!

Peach sprints away. The black cat just stays on the car, watching her go.

**INT: BIG BLACK SCAREY PLACE (DARK KINGDOM THRONE ROOM), DAY (PROBABLY).**  
A cheesy and big black scary place full of stalactites, stalagmites and mood lighting, Kind of like what Mel Stanley would design if she were given a huge cave and an infinite budget. The silhouettes of hundreds of YOUMA's (cheesy female monsters) crowd a few dozen feet from the throne. An obviously evil woman (QUEEN BERYL) sits on said throne, waving her hands vaguely over a crystal ball. She's doing this every time we see her, how does she not get RSI?

**BERYL:** We need far more power to awaken our great ruler, Queen Metallica, queen of RAWWWK! Waluigite! Where are you?

WALUIGITE teleports into the room in-between the Queen and the Youma's, He looks just like WALUIGI, but in a Dark Kingdom uniform. Still has the purple hat. He bows.

**WALUIGITE:** Yes, Queen Beryl?  
**BERYL:** Have you completed your mission?  
**WALUIGITE:** Yes. Napster is ruined now, and we have a Trojan youma in all file sharing programs created to take its place. Every byte downloaded grants our ruler further energy. The humans' lust for free music will be their downfall.  
**BERYL:** Good, but data energy is not a very potent source. We need the real thing, human life energy. Take a youma to the world of humans and con some stupid women into giving us theirs!  
**WALUIGITE:** I've already sent Morgue to a human town, and she's getting ready now.  
**BERYL:** Good. Bring the energy to me.  
**WALUIGITE:** Yes, my queen.

**INT: NINTENDO SCHOOL HALLWAYS (DAY)**  
The hallways are empty, except for PEACH, who is sneaking down the corridor slowly, looking around carefully. However, she manages to walk straight into TAKESHI (KOOPA TROOPA).

**TAKESHI:** I never thought I'd see the day – Mister Mario on time, (To self) by about 2 seconds, (shouts to Peach) Princess Peach Toadstool late!  
**PEACH:** Principal Takeshi! I can explain!  
**TAKESHI:** Don't bother. I'm sorry to have to do this Peach, God knows you don't deserve it, but rules are rules and I must follow them. (Dramatic echo) or you'll be in 2 minutes detention.  
**PEACH** (falls to knees, scream): NOOOOOOOOO!  
**TAKESHI:** No screaming in the halls. That's 2 and a half minutes detention.  
**PEACH** (scream): NOOOOOOOOOO!  
**TAKESHI:** Didn't you hear me? That'll be 3 minutes detention.  
**PEACH** (scream): NOOOOOOOOOOO!  
**TAKESHI** (sigh): Just get to class...

**CUT TO:**

**MS HAMASAKI'S SECOND GRADE CLASSROOM**  
Peach opens the door, and creeps in. Her usual class is here, along with MS HAMASAKI (TOADETTE).

**MS HAMASAKI:** Ah, so glad you could join us Peach. I wasn't sure whether I should put today down as an absence or a tardy.

She scribbles on a piece of paper, and hands it to Peach.

**REPORT CARD: NINTENDO SCHOOL**

**NAME:**

PEACH TOADSTOOL

**CLASS:**

2A

**  
Arithmetic  
Social Studies  
English  
History  
Art  
P.E.  
**

**1st sem**  
A+  
A  
A+  
A  
A+  
D-

**2nd sem**  
A+  
A  
A  
A+  
A  
C

**3rd sem**  
A+  
A+  
A+  
A  
A  
F

**Attendance - Present** 179 **- Absent** 0 **- Tardy**

Peach gasps.

**MS HAMASAKI:** Sorry, but I'll have to give this year's best attendance prize to... (She checks her attendance log) Fred.

FRED BONEBURGER (Dry Bones) gasps, and grins broadly.

**FRED **(jubilant): Yay I won! What do I get?  
**MS HAMASAKI:** This voucher for 10 coins off anything at the new Wal-Mart, and this ham.

She hands Fred a very large ham on the bone.

**FRED:** Hooray for ham!

Peach sighs and looks dejected.

**CUT TO:**

**PLAYGROUNDS**  
It's recess. PEACH sits by a tree with her elbows on her knees, looking sad. NAGISA is standing near her. NAGISA is a Toadette.

**NAGISA:** Cheer up Peachy-Chan. It's not the end of the world you know.  
**PEACH:** Yeah, I know. And besides, I'm a vegetarian. What would I want with ham?  
**NAGISA:** Exactly. Besides, Fred really seems to be enjoying it. By the way, my brother won the prize.

Pan to Fred, sitting against a wall with a blank expression on his face, sucking at the thin end of the ham like it's a lollypop.  
KOJI approaches the girls. KOJI is a Toad.

**KOJI:** Huh hey Peach... how was your report card? I got the attendance prize this year! They gave me a Wal-Mart voucher and a packet of lemon and pepper steaks!

Peach just slides her face down into her knees.

**NAGISA:** Uh, Brother... now's not the time.  
**KOJI** (Disappointed): oh...  
**NAGISA** (changing the subject): Hey Peachy-Chan, did you hear about that Sailor V character? She was on the World's Wackiest News last night.  
**PEACH:** Sailor V? That's a strange name. Who is she?  
**KOJI:** I can tell you, Sailor V is a teenage girl in a mask and a sailor suit who catches bank robbers and fights monsters and stuff. They think she's originally from Japan, which explains the costume, but recently she's been seen in a lot of the big American cities too. She must be on a world tour or something.  
**PEACH:** Koji, don't you know better than to trust a news program hosted by MC Ballyhoo?

**CUT TO:**

**2nd GRADE CLASSROOM**  
The whole class is busily working, FRED is still sucking at his ham. The clock hits 3 o'clock, and the final bell rings.

**HAMASAKI**: Okay, pack up and leave any time. Just go already.  
**NAGISA** (to Peach): Tell you what Peachy-Chan, to cheer up, why don't we go to that new Wal-Mart and have a look at the jewel counter there. My mom got a job there as the resident expert.  
**PEACH:** Jewels? Aren't there other, better shops in Mushroom Kingdom for them?  
**NAGISA:** Of course, but no other shops are having a huge opening sale right now!

**EXT: STREET (DAY)**  
PEACH and NAGISA walk down the street.

**PEACH:** Really, the perfect attendance thing doesn't bother me that much... I'm more worried about this terrible P.E mark! How did that happen? I joined the soccer team.  
**NAGISA:** Did you ever go back to practice after that game against my brother? He's a human computer.

Peach just glares at her.

**CUT TO:**

**HIGH ANGLE VIEW OF THE CITY**

**PEACH** (OS, yelled): D'OH!

A flock of birds takes off after the sound.

**CUT TO:**

**BACK TO THE STREET**

**PEACH:** I knew I was forgetting something... hey, what's going on over there?

Pan over to show the new Wal-Mart. There is a gigantic crowd out the front.

**NAGISA:** Wow, that sale must really be working.

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE WAL-MART**  
There are legions of women crowded around the jewellery counter and just as many other people at all the other counters. They're all fussing over the goods and buying like mad. NAGISA'S MOM strides around the store, with a megaphone she made of rolled up cardboard.

**N-MOM** (shouting): EVERYONE, PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELVES! THIS IS THE BIGGEST OPENING SALE IN THE HISTORY OF WAL-MART, EVERYTHING IS AT LEAST 50% OFF AND SOME BRANDS ARE UP TO 80% OFF!

The background darkens, and PIANO VERSION OF CASTLE from Super Mario Bros. starts to play. Nagisa's Mom glares around.

**N-MOM** (thinking): Yes, spend you fools...

A brief shot of the REAL NAGISA'S MOM, who is bound and gagged in a dark room, then a close-up shot of the jewels. A WEIRD EERIE EVIL LIGHT starts swirling around on them, drawing itself into the centre of the jewel. N-Mom must really be a FAKE MOM!

**FAKE MOM** (VO): Little do you know of our evil plot... these bargains are direct from hell itself! These jewels will steal your energy, and send it to our great queen!

**CUT TO:**

**SOME REALLY DARK PLACE**  
WALUIGITE stands here. He holds out a hand and the energy starts to swirl into a ball just above his palm.

**WALUIGITE:** It's too easy... the energy of stupid women who want jewels...

**CUT TO:**

**THE DOORS**  
People are wedged in the doors. Nagisa and Peach manage to POP through.

**PEACH:** This is madness! If I know Mushroom Kingdom, this is an hour away from turning into a riot!  
**NAGISA:** I know! I wonder what my mom is thinking... (She sees her, with the megaphone) Oh! Wow, she's really getting into this! (Calls and waves) Mom, hey mom!

FAKE MOM is still laughing to herself a little, and glaring around at the fools. Nagisa runs over, followed by Peach.

**NAGISA:** HEY! Mom!

She snaps her fingers in front of FAKE MOM's face until she stops laughing and notices Nagisa.

**FAKE MOM** (doesn't know Nagisa): OH! Dear... you, you're out of school already... dear?  
**NAGISA:** Yeah. I brought Peachy-Chan over to have a look at your sale (whisper) like you asked... (Normal) Um, isn't it a bit busy around here?  
**FAKE MOM**: Oh, it's to be expected when a shop this size opens... (She looks carefully at Peach) I had a hunch you girls would come over, I've been saving a special piece for you...

She heads over behind the jewellery counter, and points out a genuine pearl necklace.

**FAKE MOM**: This is a genuine, high quality pearl necklace. Normally it would sell for at least 20 Coins, but since it's a sale and since it's you, Dear Princess, I could let it go for maybe... 10 Coins, including tax.  
**PEACH:** What? That's cheap! How can you make money like that?  
**FAKE MOM**: Well, you wouldn't believe the mark up we normally have on these things.  
**PEACH:** Hm. I'm not usually the type to buy jewellery... but it is a great necklace! And it's a great bargain too!

Peach gets a purse from in her bag, and starts counting out money.

**PEACH:** 5 Coins... 5.75... Hm. (depressed) Sorry, I don't have enough... I'd better leave it till later...  
**FAKE MOM** (disappointed): Oh... that's a shame. Well, I'll keep it for you.  
**PEACH:** Thanks. I'll probably come back for it...  
**FAKE MOM**: Okay! (To self) Curses, foiled again!

Peach wanders off to have a look around the rest of the shop.

**CUT TO:**

**SWEET COUNTER**  
FRED stands looking at the sweets, holding his voucher in his hand. He licks his lips.

**FRED:** Oooh, sweets!

He glances away and the gun counter placed right next to the sweets catches his eye. There's a gun with the price tag "SALE: $9.99." Fred's attention wavers back and forth between the sweets and the gun for a while, before he fixates on the gun. A GENERIC PIANTA watches him carefully.

**FRED:** Oooh, a gun!  
**PIANTA**: Uh, are you over 21?  
**FRED:** I don't know. But I have a thing Bowser gave me.

FRED hands the pianta a note.

**PIANTA** (reading): This is my henchman Fred Boneburger. Refuse him a sale at your own risk or else! Signed – King Bowser Koopa. (Looks around nervously) Uh, I'll have to ask my manager...

He walks off, leaving Fred looking at the gun. Peach sees Fred looking up at it, sees the voucher in his hand, and gasps.

**PEACH:** Fred? What are you going to buy?  
**FRED** (pointing up): That gun's just like Bowser's.

Zoom in to Peach's forehead.

**PEACH** (thinking): Uh oh... A Dry Bones with a gun, not a good idea... must think of something.

Zoom back out. Peach looks around, and looks at the sweet rack. She grabs a candy bar.

**PEACH** (persuasive): Fred, I'll buy you a Mars Bar if you give me that voucher...  
**FRED:** Really? Oh boy!

Peach buys him the candy, gets the voucher and Fred skip off happily. Nagisa walks up behind Peach.

**NAGISA:** Peachy-Chan, that was cruel.  
**PEACH:** Oh come on, do you think it would be a good idea to let him buy a gun?  
**NAGISA:** No, but you didn't have to take his money.  
**PEACH:** If I hadn't, he would have got one anyway. Besides, it would have been my prize anyway if I hadn't stopped to help that cat.

**CUT TO:**

**JEWELLERY COUNTER**  
Peach hands the voucher over to Fake Mom.

**FAKE MOM**: Thank you Ms. Toadstool... you don't know how happy you've made me...

Fake mom puts the necklace in a case, and gives it to Peach. Nagisa and Peach start to head for the door.

**PEACH:** Wow, I can't believe I got a real pearl necklace with a Gold Star for 10 Coins!

All the other SHOPPERS freeze.

**SENSEI UCHIHA (LAKITU)**: Ten Gold ones? My Luck Changing!  
**MS HAMASAKI:** Ten Coins you say?  
**ROSALINA**: What a deal!

The shop turns into frenzy as everyone descends onto one counter. Peach and Nagisa sprint for the door and eventually end up having to crawl out of the shop. They head outside.

**PEACH:** Nagisa... your mom's crazy.  
**NAGISA:** I think I agree with you, Peachy-Chan.

**CUT TO:**

**MUSHROOM STREET**  
PEACH is walking down the street by herself now...

**PEACH:** Well, that was a little strange... but it was a great deal. I can't wait to get home and try this on!

She starts to run. As she goes, the BLACK CAT from the parking lot looks at her from around the corner...

**CAT** (thinking): So this is Princess Peach?

**INT: PEACH'S CASTLE, GROUND FLOOR HALLWAY (DAY)**  
the front door opens, and PEACH enters.

**PEACH** (shout): Toadsworth! I'm home!  
**TOADSWORTH** (Shouts from OS): Okay! Don't go far, dinner will be ready soon!  
**PEACH** (shout): Okay!

She runs upstairs.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Peach enters and closes the door behind her. She sits at her dresser, removes her normal necklace, and puts her new one on. It looks slightly different from the fake one, a bit better. She admires her reflection for a moment.

**PEACH:** Wow, it really is genuine... it's shinier, and heavier than my usual one... but why do I feel tired all of a sudden?  
**TOADSWORTH** (Shout from OS): Dear Princess! Dinner is ready! The Mario Brothers wants to see you!  
**PEACH:** Hm, I had better not wear this to dinner, I don't want to wear it out or risk Wario or Bowser stealing it...

She removes the necklace, sets it in its box, and puts her old one on.

**PEACH:** Coming! (To self) Hm, I feel better already.

**CUT TO:**

**MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE WAL-MART...**  
The shoppers are looking a bit more tired...

**FEMALE NOKI**: This is strange... I feel dizzy...  
**CANDY KONG**: I just want to sleep...  
**WRINKLY ****KONG****:** I want some more... (Collapses)

NAGISA looks around at everyone passing out.

**NAGISA:** What's going on? Everyone's falling ill. Mom, I think something is wrong!

SUSPENSEFUL SHOT of FAKE MOM

**NAGISA:** Mom?

FAKE MOM turns around. She looks a teensy bit more evil than before. Nagisa gasps.

**CUT TO:**

**DINNER TABLE**  
PEACH, TOADSWORTH, MARIO, LUIGI and the toads around the table, eating the dinner. TOADSWORTH looks up at MARIO and PEACH.

**TOADSWORTH:** Okay, I got a phone call from Mr. Takeshi reminding me that it's Mario's report card day today, so quit stalling boy, hand it over.

Mario groans, and hands the card over.

**TOADSWORTH:** Now let's see... A, A, A, C-, C+, D+... you got a HA in Cooking? Why you little! If you're going to rely on sucking up, you should at least do it well!  
**MARIO:** Sorry Toadsworth... I'll follow a recipe next time.  
**TOADSWORTH:** You'd better Master Mario. Okay Princess, lets see yours...

PEACH hands it over.

**TOADSWORTH:** Ah, much better. A+, A+, A+, A, A... F? You got an F? How could you get an F in P.E? Even I got better marks in P.E!  
**PEACH:** But Toadsworth... I got A's in every other subject! Mario didn't get anything better than a D and you only yelled at him on the cooking!  
**MARIO:** Hey, do you mind? I'm sensitive about my culinary failure!  
**TOADSWORTH:** Peach, haven't I told you often enough that a good P.E. marks is the easy road to instant popularity? You need to concentrate less on learning stuff and more on making people like you!  
**PEACH:** What? That's... ludicrous! As if there's anything I could do to magically make everyone like me! I'm good at sports!  
**TOADSWORTH:** Well, you should get good!  
**PEACH:** But...  
**TOADSWORTH:** No buts. Go to your room, and run on the spot or something! Now, I'll check your report card Luigi.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Peach enters, in a bad mood.

**PEACH:** Stupid sports... why do they think I have to be good at everything? I can make friends no problem... I've got my brains, I'm friendly, and I can play music too! (She looks over at the stand with her trumpet) Yeah right, run on the spot... I'll just quietly practice my Musical recital.

She gets the trumpet, and starts to play.

**SFX**: A creak, as the window opens a crack. But Peach doesn't hear. She just sits on her bed playing, and then looks down at the bed. The BLACK CAT is there.

**PEACH:** Hey... how did you get in here? You must be one clever cat to follow me like this...  
**CAT** (young feminine voice): Thanks. You play really well, by the way.

Peach just gapes at the cat for a moment, before screaming, and springing over to the other side of the bed. She peeks over the top of the bed at the cat.

**PEACH **(startled): AAAAGH! A talking cat and what the heck are you doing?  
**CAT**: Oh! Sorry to scare you. My name is Luna. I've been looking for you for a very long time, Peach.

Peach just hides behind the bed, looking at the cat.

**LUNA:** Ah... thank you for getting rid of the band-aids. Someone put them on me to trick me; I couldn't talk with them covering my crescent moon birthmark. It was pretty cruel, but it did mean I found you, so it wasn't all that bad. It's nice to meet you.

Luna walks toward Peach. Peach looks at her.

**PEACH:** Wow... I must be hallucinating! Maybe that sickness I felt earlier was really something bad!  
**LUNA:** Hey! I'm not a hallucination! I'm a real cat!  
**PEACH:** Yeah? Real cats can't talk! I should know that I have one!  
**LUNA:** Well, I'm not an ordinary cat, of course!  
**PEACH:** Of course! You're an imaginary one caused by a high temperature or something!  
**LUNA:** I am not!  
**PEACH:** Are too!  
**LUNA:** Am not!  
**PEACH:** Are too!  
**LUNA:** Oh, this is ridiculous!

Luna turns away and starts crossing over to the other side of Peach's bed.

**PEACH:** You think so? You're not the one talking to a cat!  
**LUNA **(stops and turns): Oh... look, just give me a chance, okay? All will become clear, I promise.  
**PEACH:** Well... sorry, but I think I had better get some medicine from my mom.  
**LUNA:** Don't go... wait, I know. You were feeling fine when I met you this morning, weren't you?  
**PEACH:** Yeah... (Protesting) but you weren't doing anything unusual then!  
**LUNA **(sarcastic): You think cats doing 7-foot backflips onto car roofs are normal?  
**PEACH** (overwhelmed): um... okay, okay. I'll stay. But this better be good.  
**LUNA:** Oh, I know it is. HERE!

Luna does a big twirly backflip, and a sparkling item appears at the apex of the flip. It falls onto Peach's bed - it's a gold brooch.

**LUNA:** Here, a present for you.

Peach picks it up and starts inspecting it.

**PEACH:** Wow, more jewellery. It looks expensive... is it really for me?  
**LUNA:** Yes, only you can use it. Peach, you might not have noticed, but a lot of strange things have been happening all over Mushroom Kingdom recently.  
**PEACH **(surprised): What, you mean all those mysterious deaths? The ones were nobody can find any cause of death except exhaustion?  
**LUNA:** Yes, those deaths.  
**PEACH **(thoughtful): Mario and I had been looking into some of them... a lot of the time we're more likely to solve the case than the police are.  
**LUNA **(surprised): That's good... (Enthused) that's a great start! Peach, you have been chosen to be a soldier in the battle against the people causing these deaths!  
**PEACH:** What? Chose by whom? Who would choose a princess like me?  
**LUNA:** Fate.  
**PEACH:** Um, okay... MOM!  
**LUNA:** Peach! What, don't you believe me?  
**PEACH **(nervously): Of, of course I do, imaginary fever cat. But I really think I should have some medicine!  
**LUNA:** (sigh): Peach... I know you don't need to believe me, but I can prove this... please, hold up the brooch and say "MOOON PRISIMU POWA - MAKE UP!"

Peach looks at Luna.

**PEACH **(in shock): Moon prism power - make up?  
**LUNA** (defensive): Hey, I didn't decide on the phrase, okay. Just say the stupid words.  
**PEACH:** Uh, sure I will... (At door) MOMM!  
**LUNA** (sigh): Please Peach, I'm begging you... if it does nothing I'll leave.

Peach looks at Luna, and sighs.

**PEACH:** Oh, all right. (Grabs brooch, poses) MOOON PRISIMU POWA - MAKE UP!

Nothing happens.

**PEACH:** There! I knew it! (Suddenly, with a SWISH her dress morphs into a leotard. She jerks into an odd pose in shock) AGH! (SWISH and jerk as her shoes become knee-high boots) Waugh! (SWISH and jerk as elbow-length gloves appear) Eek! (SWISH and jerk as tiara and earrings appear) What? (One final SWISH and Peach goes into a pose with her left hand on her hip and her right fingers over her eye, as the skirt and bows appear) Whoa! What on earth? (She falls over onto her butt) Ow! My, my clothes! (Angry) What the heck have you done to my clothes? What is this?  
**LUNA:** Peach, you have been chosen to be a soldier for Justice. You are Sailor Moon!

When she is Sailor Moon, Peach will be referred to as MOON-PEACH.

**MOON-PEACH:** How can I be a soldier if I look more like a sailor?  
**LUNA **(dismissive): That's not important right now...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Yes it is, I look like an idiot! (Angry, dives at Luna) Give me my dress back!  
**LUNA:** Agh! Sailor Moon! What are you doing?

Luna dives out of the way onto Peach's desk. As she lands, she dislodges the box with the new pearl necklace, which falls out and onto the ground. The evil mist that is drawn into it can clearly be seen.

**LUNA:** What is this?  
**MOON-PEACH:** (gasp)  
**LUNA:** Sailor Moon! We must destroy this necklace!

Luna leaps down; claws unsheathed, and cut the string between some of the pearls. Moon-Peach grabs something heavy and smashes it down on the necklace a few times, breaking some of the pearls. As Moon-Peach removes the heavy object, the mist dies away.

**MOON-PEACH:** What on earth was that?  
**LUNA:** That necklace must have come from the Dark Kingdom! I'm sure that, if you had worn that, it would have started to steal your life energy for the Dark Kingdom's evil schemes!  
**MOON-PEACH:** What? Is that why I felt a little faint before?  
**LUNA:** I would bet it is.  
**MOON-PEACH:** But... if all the jewellery in the store is like this... dozens of people could die!  
**LUNA:** Yes! You must do something Sailor Moon!

Moon-Peach looks at Luna.

**MOON-PEACH:** Me? What can I do? We need to call the police!  
**LUNA:** Normal people can't fight youmas! Only certain people can, and you are one of them. As one of the Sailor Soldiers, it's your responsibility to help these people!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hm. All right. What do we need to do?  
**LUNA:** We must head for that new store right away!

Luna heads over to the open window and leaps out. Peach watches her.

**MOON-PEACH** (shout): But I can't go outside dressed like this! (To self) Or jump out of a window for that matter... (Sigh) this is getting weirder all the time. Well, here we go...

She jumps out the window and runs across the garden chasing Luna. They both clear the fence at the end in one jump.

**INT: THE EVIL WAL-MART, NIGHT**  
all of the SHOPPERS are here, now completely passed out. FAKE MOM is here too, holding NAGISA by her throat two feet from the floor.

**NAGISA** (struggle): Huh... ggh... mom, why, what are you doing...  
**FAKE MOM**: I'm not your mother. She is tied up in the basement!  
**NAGISA** (struggle): But... who... ugh...  
**FAKE MOM**: You don't see to be affected ... oh, you didn't buy anything! Well, I know exactly what to do with you.

**MOON-PEACH** (OS): Stop right there!

Quick pan to the door; where Moon-Peach and Luna stands.

**FAKE MOM**: Who are you?  
**MOON-PEACH** (hesitates): Um... I'm... (Poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of love and justice (pose) Sailor Moon! (Pose) In the name of the moon (pose) I'll punish you! (Pose, pose)  
**LUNA:** Wow, she's catching on fast...  
**FAKE MOM**: Sailor Moon? A bit smaller than expected, but that doesn't matter! I'll teach you to mess with the powers of the Dark Kingdom!

Close-up of Fake Mom as she turn into MORGUE who is a zombie-like youma, somewhat androgynous, with stretched grey skin, no nose to speak of, and long and decidedly evil black hair.

Luna gasps in shock, Moon-Peach screams in horror.

**MOON-PEACH:** It's Michael Jackson!  
**LUNA:** No Sailor Moon, it's the youma that's caused this! You must destroy it!  
**MORGUE:** You can try, little girl! Attention shoppers, we have a blue light special on dead wannabe heroes!

All the SHOPPERS get up possessed by Morgue.

**MOON-PEACH:** Hey, what's wrong with you? (To MORGUE) What have you done to them?

She doesn't get an answer, as WRINKLY KONG charges at Moon-Peach. Moon-Peach screams and tries to run, but Wrinkly manages to get a grip of her ankle.

**WRINKLY** (groaning): Cranky... come... and. help... me... hold... her... down...  
**CRANKY** (groaning): Coming... Wrinkly... Dear…

Cranky tries to shamble over, Zombie style, but Moon-Peach manage to pull free before he gets there.

**WRINKLY** (groaning): You... call... that... shuffling??? That's... the... worst... shuffling... I've... ever...  
**CRANKY** (groaning): But... Wrinkly...

Moon-Peach ignores them and runs further into the shop away from the crowd. But SENSEI UCHIHA and MS HAMASAKI block her way.

**SENSEI UCHIHA** (groaning): You... should... not... disobey... your... elders! 10... years... detention!  
**MS HAMASAKI** (groaning): Write... 10000... lines! "This... is... not... appropriate... clothing!"  
**MOON-PEACH:** Detention and lines? But I'm a model student!

Moon-Peach is paralyzed in shock.

**HAMASAKI/UCHIHA** (groaning): We... have... her... now!

They dive at Moon-Peach, attempting to grab her. But she manages to jump backwards and they fall on the floor. She jumps over their bodies and keeps running. Morgue covers its eyes with a hand.

**MORGUE:** My Queen, these slaves are useless... unless... (Turns to WIZARDHEIMER) You, Punk! Here's the key to the spell cabinet!  
**WIZARDHEIMER** (groaning): Kill... The... Princess…

**CUT TO:**

**COUNTER**  
Moon-Peach squats behind a counter.

**MOON-PEACH:** What's happened to them? That monster must be controlling them. It's a good thing they're not very fast or they'd already have me by now.

LUNA runs up to her.

**LUNA:** What are you doing sitting here, Sailor Moon? Get out there and destroy that youma!  
**MOON-PEACH:** But how can I? You never told me that bit!  
**LUNA:** ... okay, so I didn't. Just remove your tiara, and throw it at the youma while shouting "Mooon Tiarra Acshon!"  
**MOON-PEACH:** Moon Tiara Action? (Pause, yells) MOM! MOMM! Come wake me up!  
**LUNA **(exasperated): For goodness sake girl, I'm being perfectly serious!  
**MOON-PEACH:** That's hard to believe right now...  
**LUNA:** Look, the "Mooon Prisimu Powa, make up!" worked, didn't it? So trust me a little, Sailor Moon! I'm not a hallucination or anything, and those people it's controlling are dying!

Moon-Peach thinks to herself for a moment, and turns to Luna.

**MOON-PEACH:** Okay...

She stands, and looks over the counter.

**MOON-LISA:** Okay Youma, set these people free or I will AGGH! WISENHEIMER!  
**WIZARDHEIMER:** That's Wizardheimer!

We see Wizardheimer looking at her down the wand. Moon-Peach freezes in fright. Close-up of Wizardheimer's charging the wand up...

The wand fires, but in a blur something slams into the side of the wand, forcing it over a bit to the left. Cut to Moon-Peach who appears to be in shock. There are some holes in the wall a few inches to her right, and the shot has clipped a bit of her hair. It falls to the ground.

**MOON-PEACH:** What was that?

Show the wand. A rose is in it, the stem having passed through the stick. Everyone follows the path of the rose and looks up. A second-story window is open, and a MAN stands in it. He wears a tuxedo, cape, mask and top hat, and carries a cane.

**MAN**: I am Tuxedo Kamen! You can't win if you don't have faith in your powers Sailor Moon! Just trust the damn cat already... (Looks closer) hang on a moment, are you...?

He jumps down from the window, landing next to Moon-Peach. She has her hands clasped together, and is looking up at him with starry eyes.

**MOON-PEACH:** You saved me!  
**TUXEDO KAMEN** (bends down and looks closely): You're a bit... uh... younger than expected...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Is your name Mario?  
**TUXEDO KAMEN** (shudder): Uh, no. (To self) this is my love-interest? Even I have limits... (To Moon-Peach, embarrassed) Well, good luck! Gotta go!

He jumps back up to the window, and leaves.

**MOON-PEACH:** Hey, where are you going?  
**MORGUE** (OS): (cough) are you done yet?

Show Morgue and some of the possessed people sitting around having coffee.

**MOON-PEACH:** Um, I guess so...  
**MORGUE:** Good. Prepare to meet your death, Sailor Moon!

Morgue stands and stretches out her arms, which get longer so that her hands are stretching towards Moon-Peach rapidly.

**LUNA:** Do it now Sailor Moon!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Okay!

**CUT TO:**

**REPETITIVE CUT-'N'-PASTE TIARA ATTACK**  
Moon-Peach appears before a trippy background with bubbles and stuff in it. Close-up of her tiara. She picks it off her head, and POSES. Then she holds it in front of her and SPINS twice on one leg. The tiara starts to glow becoming a disc of white light. She POSES.

**MOON-PEACH:** MOOON TIARRA ACSHUN!

She throws the tiara/disc like a frisbee.

**CUT TO:**

**WAL-MART**  
Morgue screams as the tiara heads straight for her. There is a large explosion of white light as it hits.

**MOON-PEACH:** Wow! That's incredible!

Morgue crumbles into dust.

**CUT TO:**

**A REALLY DARK PLACE**  
WALUIGITE's ball of energy suddenly dissipates as it's returned to its owners.

**WALUIGITE:** Mama Mia, the Queen ain't gonna be happy about this... that wiener Morgue must have failed, I'm ruined! Good thing I'll buy a pearl necklace.

**INT: PEACH'S ROOM - NIGHT**  
MOON-PEACH flops down back first onto her bed, exhausted. Her uniform glows for a moment before turning back into her dress.

**PEACH:** I can't believe I really did that... It's impossible, isn't it?  
**LUNA:** Not at all, and you did it really well too! Great job Peach, you saved all these people!  
**PEACH:** Huh, I guess I did! It was weird and embarrassing, but it worked pretty well. I'm just glad those people probably won't have any memory of me in that silly costume.  
**LUNA:** Oh, don't worry about that. Nobody, not even your closest friends and family will ever recognize you as Sailor Moon.  
**PEACH:** Why not?  
**LUNA:** Plot convenience.  
**PEACH:** Ah. So... was that the only youma, or will there be more enemies like it?  
**LUNA:** I'm afraid there will almost certainly be more. We've got a long battle ahead of us, Peach.

**FADE TO BLACK**

**PEACH** (voice over): Luna was right. It seemed like from that point on, a new youma appeared every few days to set up a new con and steal people's energy. They must have tried everything...

Show still picture of Moon-Peach fighting a batlike youma in the broadcast mast of Ninendo Radio.

**PEACH** (voiceover): hijacking radio stations...

A Picture of Moon-Peach running on a fast treadmill as a Youma laughs at her.

**PEACH** (voiceover): taking over fitness clubs...

A Pic of Moon-Peach gasping at Mario and Luigi, who is holding a nasty looking guinea pig.

**PEACH** (voiceover): even selling possessed animals. It was hard work; sometimes I wound up staying up really late to destroy a youma. Fortunately, I got an ally pretty soon.

END OF EPISODE 1


	2. Episode 2

**EXT: NINTENDO SCHOOL - DAY  
**the school bell rings, and swarms of students run out. PEACH walks out calmly with NAGISA, KOJI, POPO and NANA (from 'Ice Climbers' or Ice Climber in Japan).

**NAGISA:** I'm telling you, Sailor Moon's real! I was there remembering? **  
NANA:** I'm not saying you're wrong; it's just that you were only halfway conscious at the time. Maybe what you saw wasn't what you thought you saw. I mean, you'd just heard of that Sailor V character on TV the previous day. **  
NAGISA:** So you're saying I'm crazy. **  
NANA:** I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that girls can't do magic, cats can't talk, and nobody would go into a battle wearing a leotard covered with bows. Right, Peachy-Chan?  
**PEACH** (embarrassed): Well, I wouldn't say anything is strictly impossible.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS **

A Super Mario Bros / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON" **

Part 2: Genius Girl vs. Stupid, Stupid Youma!  
So you thought school was brainwashing you?

By Matthew O'Connell

**PEACH** (voice over): Nana had been going to a Computer Room that was taken over by a youma...

**CUT TO:**

Nana is unpacking her schoolbag in front of a computer. The SENSEI stoops down by her desk to talk.

CRAM SCHOOL CLASSROOM

**SENSEI**: Make sure you study hard with that crystal disk, Nana. It would be a shame to let a mind like yours go to waste. **  
NANA:** Okay...  
The sensei leaves, and Nana rummages through her school bag. **  
NANA:** Huh? The disk is missing! Well, I don't need it to study; I always get a headache while using that thing anyway.  
**LUNA** (voice over): But she didn't know that we had got her crystal disk, after she dropped it at school.

**CUT TO:**

**  
MARIO'S HOUSE **  
PEACH and LUNA sit in front of Mario's computer. Peach puts the crystal disk in the CD tray, and closes it.

**PEACH:** Hm, I really should learn how to use this thing properly someday. **  
LUNA:** You can't use a computer? **  
PEACH:** Well, I can use Word and play Minesweeper... but this looks like something else... **  
LUNA:** It's for DOS. Hmph, you'd better move over then...

Luna stands on Peach's chair, and starts typing like mad. The screen flashes all sorts of colours.

**PEACH:** Hey, I didn't know cats could use computers! **  
LUNA:** J00R |\|0T L337 e|\|uf 4 m3, g!Rl! 3... well, here it is!

Some strange patterns start to flash on the screen, and "Enter Sandman" by Metallica starts playing. Peach looks a little woozy.

**PEACH:** What...? I feel funny and tired... it's just like when I had that necklace on! **  
LUNA:** It's a program for brainwashing people!  
**WALUIGITE** (from computer): Come on; give up your mental energy for our Queen Metallica! You don't need it, really! And when it's all gone go buy a Metallica Album too! OBEY ME WALUIGITE!

Luna quickly turns the speakers and monitor off.

**LUNA:** I knew it! I was sure I was getting a strange feeling off of that girl, and this proves it! Peach, she must be a youma sent by the enemy! **  
PEACH:** Who, Nana? That's impossible; I've known her for months! **  
LUNA:** It could be impersonating her! The real Nana's probably tied up in a basement somewhere, they like that tactic it seems. **  
PEACH:** I guess you're right, we'd better get over there...

**SFX:** (KNOCK, KNOCK!)

**MARIO **(OS): Hey, can I come in my own room already? Jeez Peach, what are you doing on that computer; I just want to play Quake! **  
PEACH:** We're just done!  
She opens the door and leaves, followed by Luna. MARIO enters and turns on his computer. He is immediately hypnotized. **  
MARIO **(sings slowly): dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire... **  
PEACH **(voiceover): We left immediately, and headed straight for the Computer Room at school.

**CUT TO:**

**  
SCHOOL CORRIDOR **  
Peach and Luna look through a door.

**PEACH:** Okay, here's the class! Let's go in! **  
LUNA:** Don't you think you should be Sailor Moon before you go in, Peach? **  
PEACH:** Hm, good idea, I wouldn't want to have to change in front of all those people. MOOON PRISIMU POWA, MAKE UP! (Pause, then with a SWISH her dress morphs into a leotard. She jerks into an odd pose in shock) AGH! (SWISH and jerk as her shoes become knee-high boots) Waugh! (SWISH and jerk as elbow-length gloves appear) Eek! (SWISH and jerk as tiara and earrings appear) Woah! (SWISH and pose as the skirt and bows appear. She holds the pose for a moment, then glares at Luna)

**MOON-PEACH:** Can't you arrange a more comfortable transformation method? **  
LUNA:** You'd rather be spinning, glowing and naked? **  
MOON-PEACH** (dismissive): Forget I said anything. (Boldly) Okay, let's go in!

She opens the door.

**CUT TO:**

**  
CLASSROOM **  
Moon-Peach bursts in through the door.

**MOON-PEACH:** Quick, everyone get up and away from those computers! They're stealing your energy for the Dark Kingdom!

The STUDENTS look up at her, confused and disbelieving.

**MOON-PEACH:** Um... that is... if you don't get away from them now, you could get eyestrain and carpal-tunnel syndrome!

The students' look MUCH more concerned at this, and starts talking to each other.

**POPO**: Hey, my hands do feel a bit sore, now that you mention it!  
**KOJI**: Oh no, I never noticed how bad my vision was getting until now! **  
FRED**: I think sitting on this seat has sent my legs to sleep! I'll play Mine Sweeper.**  
NANA** (stands up): Don't be hypochondriacs, everyone! We don't use computers for that long; we're not at risk from those things! (To Moon-Peach) How can you just charge in here and disturb everyone's study? **  
LUNA:** There, I knew it! She wants them to go back to using the computers, that girl must be the youma! **  
MOON-PEACH:** I didn't believe it, but I guess it must be true! Don't worry Nana, I'll destroy the youma impersonating you and set you free! **  
NANA**: A youma? Who, me? No, you've got it all wrong...

A hand is clamped over her mouth. It's the SENSEI!

**SENSEI**: Close girl, but no gold star!

Instead of protecting its identity and just letting Moon-Peach accidentally kill Nana; the STUPID, STUPID YOUMA reveals itself.

**STUPID, STUPID YOUMA**: I am Garaben, the youma of knowledge, but not intelligence apparently!

All the students are scared by the monster and chaotically flee the classroom.

**MOON-PEACH** (to Luna): Luna, I thought you said Nana was the youma! **  
LUNA:** Whoops... I wonder what it was I felt then? **  
GARABEN**: You're too late! This girl's mind is the richest I have seen, I'll take all her mental energy and then dump her in a trailer park somewhere or maybe at the back of Bowser's Castle. **  
MOON-PEACH:** I don't think so! (Poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of love and justice (pose) Sailor Moon! (Pose) In the name of the moon (pose) I'll punish you! (Pose, pose)

Garaben holds up a finger.

**GARABEN:** First question... **  
MOON-PEACH:** Huh? **  
GARABEN:** A question about the genius Isaac Newton! Why did the apple fall from the tree?

Garaben throws several sheets of notepaper at Moon-Lisa, like knives.

**MOON-PEACH:** What the... agh!

The paper sticks in the wall by Peach's head, and she runs to the side.

**GARABEN:** If you can't answer, you're dead! **  
MOON-PEACH:** Hey, stop that! It was the force of gravity! **  
GARABEN:** Correct! Second question! Explain the force of gravity in less than 50 words! **  
MOON-PEACH** (quickly): Gravity is a result of the electromagnetic attraction between matter that draws masses toward each other. The strength of a masses' gravity is dependent on its size and composition. A small mass like a stone has nearly no gravity, while a large mass like Earth has higher gravity.

Garaben looks confused. She looks down at Nana (she still has her hand over Nana's mouth)

**GARABEN** (clueless): Is she right? **  
NANA** (muffled): Eif finc soe. Itf clofe enofe. (Translation: I think so, it's close enough.)**  
GARABEN:** All right, correct! Third question! Politics - who was the father of Socialism? **  
MOON-PEACH:** Karl Marx! **  
GARABEN:** Correct! Fourth question! History - whose death was the cause of the First World War? **  
MOON-PEACH:** Archduke Franz Ferdinand! **  
GARABEN:** Correct! Fifth question! Networking - what is an error 404? **  
MOON-PEACH:** um... **  
LUNA:** File not found, Sailor Moon! **  
MOON-PEACH:** File not found! **  
GARABEN:** Correct! Sixth question...

**FADE OUT**, and back **IN AGAIN**.

**SUBTITLE**: An hour later...

**MOON-PEACH:** 200 Job Points gets you Ifrit! **  
GARABEN:** Correct! Fifty-second question! Mythology - who wrote the Odyssey and the Iliad? **  
MOON-PEACH:** Hom... wait... that can't be right, can it? **  
GARABEN:** Ah, I have you!

Garaben throws more paper, which manages to pin Moon-Peach to the wall.

**MOON-PEACH:** Agh! Luna, help! **  
GARABEN:** Now, I can send this girl's mental energy to my master!

Garaben pushes Nana's face up against a computer screen. Nothing happens. **  
NANA**: Urk! What are you doing? (Distressed) I'm getting static electricity off this thing!

Garaben is zapped by a little bit of electricity.

**GARABEN:** Ow! I don't understand... (Ranting) the program should be taking your mental energy! Why isn't it working!

A small blue symbol starts to glow on Nana's forehead. It looks as if someone mashed a love heart and an O+ symbol together and gave it ears.

**LUNA:** (gasp) that's it! The strange energy I felt! **  
GARABEN:** Well, if I can't take your energy, I'll just take your entire brain!

Garaben throws Nana down to the ground. Luna does another Big Backflip, and an odd pen appears at the apex. She slides it over to Nana.

**LUNA:** Quickly, Nana! Pick up that pen! **  
NANA:** (gets the pen) What? A talking... **  
LUNA:** Yes, I know I'm a talking cat; I've already been through it with Princess Peach. Just hold up the pen and say "Murcuri Powa, Make up!" **  
NANA:** What?

Nana gets up, and looks at Garaben. It morphs its arm into a really big axe. Nana glares at it.

**NANA:** okay... (Raises pen) MURCURI POWA, MAKE UP!

A thick layer of water covers her, and when it subsides Nana is wearing a fetching boots-leotard-skirt-bows-tiara combo similar to Sailor Moon's. The bows and skirt are all blue.

**LUNA:** Nana is the second Sailor Soldier, Sailor Mercury!

(NOTE: Like Moon, Nana shall be referred to as MERC-NANA when she is Sailor Mercury)

**LUNA:** Quick, Sailor Mercury! Use the Shabon Sprayy! **  
MERC-NANA** (twiddles her ears): Sorry, what did you say? I can't hear I've got water in my ears. **  
LUNA:** USE THE SHABON SPRAYY! **  
MERC-NANA:** Okay... SHABON... SPRAYY!

Merc-Nana POSES, Twists a little and POSES again as she throws out lots of little bubbles, creating a dense fog.

**GARABEN:** What the... I can't see anything... so cold...

The papers pinning Moon-Peach to the wall go soggy, and she is able to get free.

**MOON-PEACH **(awestruck): So Nana is another Sailor Soldier? That's great! But... where is she? I can't see anything here...

Garaben is still searching for Merc-Nana. It suddenly sees her in the distance.

**GARABEN:** I've found you now! You'll pay!

Garaben charges and dives... and goes flying through a plate glass window. The image of Merc-Nana was merely a reflection. Merc-Nana steps out from the fog.

**MERC-NANA:** I can't believe it was so easy to outsmart it! (Calls) SAILOR MOON! Over here!

**MOON-PEACH:** Coming! (Steps out of the mist) I heard glass breaking, where'd it go... (Sees window) oooh... (Smirk)

**CUT TO:**

**STREET OUTSIDE SCHOOL**

A large open-top truck is parked outside the school. Its cargo is Banana. A pair of youma legs sticks out the top. Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana stand in the school window.

**MERC-NANA:** Do we do anything else, or is that punishment enough? **  
MOON-PEACH:** Leave this to me.

**CUT TO:**

**REPETITIVE CUT-'N'-PASTE TIARA ATTACK**

Moon-Peach appears before a trippy background with bubbles and stuff in it. Close-up of her tiara. She picks it off her head, and POSES. Then she holds it in front of her and SPINS twice on one leg. The tiara starts to glow becoming a disc of white light. She POSES.

**MOON-PEACH:** MOOON TIARRA ACSHUN!

She throws the tiara/disc like a frisbee.

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**

**GARABEN** (shouting): I hate bananas! AAAARGH!

There is a bright flash of light. Merc-Nana shades her eyes. When it subsides, most of the bananas are vaporized, and the rest are covered in the dirt and dust that Garaben was transformed into. Merc-Nana looks at her gloved hand.

**MERC-NANA:** I'm... I'm... **  
MOON-PEACH:** You're the second Sailor Soldier, Sailor Mercury. **  
MERC-NANA:** That's strange, I was sure it was impossible this morning... I guess I can't be right about everything. **  
MOON-PEACH:** Don't worry about it, I still have trouble understanding how all this can be real. **  
LUNA** (stern): Sailor Moon... **  
MOON-PEACH **(apologetic): Okay, okay, no more. But there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't the computer steal your energy, Mercury? **  
MERC-NANA:** I had lost my crystal disk, so I wasn't running the program at the time. I think that must be what prevented it. **  
MOON-PEACH:** So what were you doing on that computer then?

Moon-Peach goes over to take a look; Merc-Nana chases her.

**MERC-NANA** (worried): Nothing, it was nothing. **  
MOON-PEACH:** (smirk) you were writing fanfic? Wow... I thought I was introverted, but I guess you're still a step ahead of me... **  
MERC-NANA:** Hey now, that's art! **  
MOON-PEACH** (funny look): Right... **  
DONKEY KONG** (OS): Hey, what the heck happened to my Bananas? The two girls look guiltily at each other. **  
BOTH**: Whoops...

They run away.

**CUT TO:**

**PUBLIC PARK**

Peach and Nana sit on a bench, talking to Luna. (They are muted) Luna does a backflip and a slim blue case appears, dropping to the ground.

**NANA** (voice-over): It took me a while to get used to the magic, so Luna gave me a great miniaturized super-computer as well, to use in analyzing enemy powers and weak spots, and devising strategies. **  
PEACH** (voice-over): It is a nice computer, I'm sure it'll be useful. So Luna, will we be getting any more friends? **  
LUNA** (voice over): Yes, we should. And my feline intuition says it will be quite soon... although "friend" is debatable...

**Continued in Part 3!**


	3. Episode 3

**EXT: FIRST CHURCH OF MUSHROOM KINGDOM - DAY**  
establishing shot of the church. The billboard reads "Communion this Sunday. NO MINORS!"

**PEACH** (voice-over): Oh no, not her...  
**LUNA** (voice-over): Hush, Peach.

**CUT TO:**

**NEAR BACK DOOR**  
PEACH and LUNA hide behind some bushes, watching KAMMY and BOWSER talking.

**KAMMY:** Look Your Highness, all I know is they left their bridge club meeting at the hall, got on the bus, and never arrived at their homes.  
**BOWSER **(accusatory): You sure you're telling me everything? Kidnapping the old folks is a serious crime, Kammy!  
**KAMMY:** And exactly what do you mean by that?

**PEACH** (Voice-over): It was the talk of the town at the time - entire buses full of old people were going missing from the bus stop near the church. Of course, we suspected the Dark Kingdom...

**LUNA** (whisper): Sssh, Peach, not so loud! Do you want them to hear us?  
**PEACH** (whisper): What? I didn't say anything!  
**LUNA** (whisper): Whoops, sorry... it must have been a voiceover...  
**PEACH** (whisper): Uh huh... Well, it looks like the reverend doesn't know anything, and if I know the Koopa Troops; they'll be completely clueless too. Looks like this one is up to us...  
**SAMUS** (OS): Are you talking to that cat?

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 3: The bus smells of old people! A Flame soldier appears!

By Matthew O'Connell

Peach and Luna turn, to see SAMUS ARAN (Game "Metriod") standing over them. They both scream briefly then start shaking their heads rapidly.

**LUNA:** Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow meow.  
**PEACH:** No, of course not, how could a cat talk back anyway, it's not possible...  
**LUNA:** Meow, meow.

**SAMUS:** Humph, I knew you were a goody-two-shoes snitch, Peach, but I didn't know you were crazy enough to talk to animals. What are you doing here?  
**PEACH:** None of your business, Samus.  
**SAMUS:** Hey, you're the one spying; you can't say it's none of **my** business.  
**PEACH:** All right, if you must know, I'm investigating the old folks' disappearances.  
**SAMUS:** Heh, good luck. (Snort) A witless imbecile like you'll need it!  
**PEACH:** Oh, I suppose you're doing much better, Samus? Got any clues of your own?  
**SAMUS:** It really doesn't bother me what happens to a bunch of dumb old coots. But even if I did, I wouldn't share them with you.  
**PEACH:** Fine then. Well, there isn't anything else to be found here, we'll just head off somewhere else. Come on, Luna.

Peach walks off toward the front of the church. Luna takes a last look at Samus, and follows.

**CUT TO:**

**FRONT OF CHURCH**  
Luna and Peach walk around at the front. CREEPY WALUIGI is cleaning the steps around the front.

**PEACH:** That obnoxious, stupid, stuck up... criminal! I wouldn't be surprised if she were behind this, I really wouldn't.  
**LUNA:** Peach, that's an awful thing to think about someone! You should give her a chance, she may surprise you someday.  
**PEACH:** It's not very likely... but okay, I'll try next time. So what shall we do now about the buses?  
**LUNA:** I think our best get is to get ourselves on those buses to investigate. We may find our enemies on them somewhere...  
**PEACH:** But, what if we get kidnapped?  
**LUNA:** If we are, we'll be in the perfect place to defeat the kidnappers and rescue the old folks.  
**PEACH:** Hmm, I guess you're right. I'd better get Nana over here then.

She pulls a mobile phone out of her bag, and dials a number.

**LUNA:** Didn't I give you communicators?  
**PEACH:** This is less conspicuous.

SPLIT SCREEN - show NANA waiting at a bus stop.

**NANA:** Hello?  
**PEACH:** Nana, where are you?  
**NANA:** I am waiting for a bus.

A SPINY EGG comes out of nowhere and smacks into Nana's face.

**LAKITU** (OS): Oops, sorry! Automatic reaction!

Nana glares offscreen.

**PEACH:** Hey, what was that? Are you okay?  
**NANA:** I'm fine. What is it, Peach?  
**PEACH:** Luna and I need you at the First Church of Mushroom Kingdom. We think we've uncovered another plot by the Dark Kingdom.  
**NANA:** Okay, I'll be right over.

They hang up, and the screen goes back to just being Peach.

**PEACH:** She's on her way.  
**LUNA:** Good.

**CUT TO:**

**FRONT STEPS OF CHURCH**  
SAMUS stands here, arms folded, watching Peach and Luna. CREEPY WALUIGI is still washing the steps. He wears a shirt that reads COMMUNITY SERVICE.

**SAMUS:** Huh, look at her, trying to act all smart and resourceful. Little Peachy has as much chance of figuring this out as you do!  
**C-WALUIGI**: Hey Sammie, you're wrong! I could figure this out if I wanted to. There's just no point in doing it, is all.  
**SAMUS:** Yeah, you're right.

Samus walks back to where she'd talked to Peach and Luna.

**SAMUS:** Unless... boy, I bet it would really piss off Peach if I found out what's going on before her. It'd be a great way to get back at her for tattling on me... (Looks down) hey, what's this?

She finds a fancy red pen on the ground.

**SAMUS:** She must have dropped it. Oh well, I'll just keep it. (Puts it in a pocket) Well, that's it then. I'll just start my own investigation.

**CUT TO:**

**CHURCH PARKING LOT**  
A bus is parked here. Peach is waiting around, until Nana runs up to her.

**PEACH** (voice-over): We met up with Nana, and got on the bus.

While MOON-PEACH looks around, MERC-NANA uses her computer and touches her right earring, and a blue visor lowers out from her tiara to cover her eyes. She looks around, scanning the bus.

**PEACH** (voice-over): But as far as we could tell, it was just a normal bus.  
**NANA** (voice-over): So since we knew that we would be thrown off the bus when the old guys had to use it, we hid under the seats so that we could try to prevent it being hijacked.

The girls are hidden under the seats when old people start getting on - among the oldies are Toadsworth, Koopa Krag, Cranky Kong and Mrs Glick the Toad. KAMEK also gets on.

**KAMEK**: Okay, old folks! I know you're probably all worried about the kidnappings of your friends...  
**TOADSWORTH** (looks around, guilty): Kidnappings? What are you talking about, I aren't kidnapped nobody, I tells you!  
**KAMEK** (continued): ... but don't worry, there's no way anything's going to go wrong on this bus, I already checked the trunk for Kremlings, (waves a gun) and I'm packing a piece just in case.

The old folk cheer.

**KRAG:** Now that's forward thinking!  
**TOADSWORTH:** This is the safest I've felt for decades!  
**KAMEK:** So don't worry old folks because you are completely safe!

He waves the gun, and accidentally shoots out the back window of the bus. The oldies are quiet for a moment, and then cheer again.

**CUT TO:**

**MOON PEACH UNDER A SEAT**  
Moon-Peach looks annoyed.

**MOON-PEACH:** This is a farce...

A foot is put down next to her face... its wearing sandals. Moon-Peach screws up her face, and pinch her nose.

**MOON-PEACH:** Oh god...

**CUT TO:**

**ARIEL VIEW OF THE PARKING LOT**

The bus pulls away, and heads down the street. Suddenly, a black portal materializes down the street from the bus, and fills the otherwise empty street.

**CUT TO:**

**THE BUS - VIEW FROM THE BACK, FACING TOWARD THE FRONT**  
The portal can be seen in the windshield. The oldies are shouting in fright and surprise. Camera pans down to MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA and LUNA, hidden under the seats. Moon-Peach is starting to turn blue from holding her breath.

**LUNA:** That sounds like our cue!

They get out from under the seats, and Merc-Nana strikes a pose.

**MERC-NANA:** Quick Kamek, stop this bus or we'll all be kidnapped!

Moon-Peach just tries to breathe again, and ends up almost having a coughing fit.

**LUNA:** Sailor Moon, this isn't the time...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Okay, I think I'm better now...

She runs up to the front of the bus, Merc-Nana following.

**MOON-PEACH:** Mr. Kamek, stop the bus now! That portal must be what somebody is using to kidnap these buses!  
**KAMEK:** Hey, don't worry about it sailor princess, I've seen this before. That's just another of my acid flashbacks, it'll disappear once we drive through it.

Merc-Nana scans the portal with her visor and computer.

**MERC-NANA:** I don't think that's very accurate Kamek, my computer says it's a pan dimensional non-harmonious rift in simultaneous 4-day cube space.  
**MOON-PEACH:** ... and that means?  
**MERC-NANA:** I'm not sure. (Looks at computer screen.) Apparently I'm educated stupid.  
**LUNA:** O...Kay, so Sailor Mercury's computer is on the Fritz. When we get out of here, remind me to call tech support.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Speaking of getting out of here, aren't we getting a bit close to that portal?

Shot of everyone looking at the portal, which is right in front of the bus now. Merc-Nana, Moon-Peach and Luna scream.

**KAMEK:** All right, Here we go!

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE THE BUS**  
The bus floats off the ground a little as it enters the portal.

**MOON-PEACH** (OS): It's going in! Everyone hold onto your tiaras!  
**OLD FOLKS** (OS): OKAY!

The bus goes all the way through the portal.

**CUT TO:**

**FRONT OF CHURCH**  
Samus walks around with a magnifying glass, inspecting the pavement. CREEPY WALUIGI is still cleaning the steps.

**SAMUS:** (sigh) oh, this is hopeless... I don't have any idea where to start. I'll never find any clues at this rate, and I'm too proud to ask that dog on Nick Jr. Jeez, there must be SOMETHING around here, just under my nose or something... I can't shake the feeling that it's something nearby.

**CUT TO:**

**SAMUS'S POV**  
Samus looks up and down the street. The only thing of note is WARIO, WALUIGI, KING BOO and BOSWER JR harassing LUIGI and MARIO. Samus looks directly at them.

**SAMUS:** Hey, that looks like fun! But I'd never get away with doing it too. Hey... wait a minute!

**CUT TO:**

**FRONT OF CHURCH**  
Samus looks at the steps. Creepy Waluigi is still washing them. She looks back at the street - Waluigi is still harassing Luigi.

**SAMUS:** But that's...

Creepy Waluigi gets up from washing the steps, and goes inside the church.

**SAMUS:** I should have known!

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE THE CHURCH**  
Creepy Waluigi walks down the aisle, and approaches the stage. SFX - Door Opening. C-Waluigi turns at the noise. Pan over to show Samus in the door.

**SAMUS:** Hey, you! Faker!  
**C-WALUIGI**: What? You were talking to me!  
**SAMUS:** Yeah, I am! Who the hell are you to come here impersonating Waluigi? The real Waluigi would never even turn up for community service like a wimp, never mind finish on time! You're the one behind the kidnappings, aren't you?  
**C-WALUIGI**: You're right... how smart of you to figure it out.

C-Waluigi's clothes shimmer, and change to the uniform of a Dark Kingdom general! He reveals himself to be WALUIGITE! (SHOCK!!!)

**WALUIGITE:** But now that you know kid, I can't let you live! (Waves an arm. A black portal appears!) You can go in too, then!

The portal sucks a screaming Samus in, and closes behind her.

**INT: WEIRD DIMENSION**  
The dimension certainly is weird. A single island made of firmament, floating in a vast blackness. Another bus is parked at the side of the island, and the current bus enters through a portal higher up.

**CUT TO:**

**ON THE BUS**  
KAMEK, MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA and LUNA are up the front.

**MERC-NANA:** Great, now where are we?  
**MOON-PEACH:** It looks like we've left our reality completely.  
**LUNA:** This is part of the Dark Kingdom's realm.  
**KAMEK:** Woah, this is new. I've never had a hallucination like this before.

Moon-Peach "Hmmmm"'s, and heads to the back of the bus.

**MOON-PEACH:** Attention old people! Do not be alarmed at your new, unfamiliar surroundings, we are trying to find a way back to your usual dimension and your afternoon Matlock as soon as possible!  
**MRS GLICK**: But who are you anyway?  
**KRAG:** They're obviously trapeze artists!  
**CRANKY**: No, they're ice skaters!  
**TOADSWORTH:** You're both crazy! Look at those costumes, they're obviously Broadway showgirls! Hey girls, can you Can-Can like I can? (Gets up and starts trying to do the can-can) Da, diddy-diddy, da da diddy-diddy da da...  
**MOON-PEACH** (disturbed): Eww...

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE**  
The bus pulls in next to the island, and the doors open. Moon-Peach steps out.

**MOON-PEACH** (testing the ground): Hmm, seems solid enough.

Merc-Nana, Luna, Kamek and the Old Folks follow her out.

**KRAG **(satisfied)**:** Well I'll be jiggered. It looks like I've finally died.  
**CRANKY**: Not before time, too. I've been waiting for years to get your room, you long-lived old turtle.  
**KRAG:** Hey, over my dead body, you room-coveting young whippersnapper!  
**CRANKY**: Your dead body eh? Well, where are you now, eh? (Gloating) The room is mine!  
**KRAG:** Not if I kill you before you take it you old ape!

Krag dives at the Cranky. They struggle, and roll along the ground, in front of the two Sailor Soldiers and Luna.

**MOON-PEACH:** So have you figured out where we are yet?  
**MERC-NANA** (looking at computer): Nearly, I think I can get the Mapmaker program on this thing to work. (She gives it a smack. **SFX:** Windows "ping") Ah, here it goes!  
**MOON-PEACH:** So where are we?  
**MERC-NANA:** It says we're "In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."

Everything is silent for a moment. A spooky wind blows.

**LUNA:** If that's right, we're in big trouble. That had better not be right.  
**MERC-NANA:** (gives it another smack) I think it's probably still a bit buggy...

There is a THUNDERCLAP, and thanks to either coincidence or contrivance SAMUS falls out of a portal directly above the two soldiers, falling on them.

**SAMUS/MOON-PEACH/MERC-NANA:** OW!  
**LUNA:** What the?  
**SAMUS:** Now where am I? Where did you send me?

She sees that she's landed on, and gapes at them for a moment, before standing and helping them up.

**SAMUS** (gushing, to Moon-Peach): oh my god oh my god it's you! (To Merc-Nana) And you! I can't believe it, I am your biggest fans, I mean fan!  
**MOON-PEACH/MERC-NANA** (deadpan): What?  
**SAMUS **(hyper)**:** I can't believe it's you! I have all of the Sailor Moon comics so far, and your video games and some of the dubbed cartoon on tape!  
**MOON-PEACH:** We have a comic book?  
**MERC-NANA:** And video games?  
**LUNA:** What? I never approved a hack-job dub! What is central control thinking?  
**SAMUS:** And oh, I can't believe I finally met you! It's a dream come true! Wait until I tell the girls at school about this!

Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana look at each other, and smile.

**MOON-PEACH** (sly): Let me get this straight. You, Samus Aran, are our biggest fan?  
**SAMUS:** Yes!  
**MERC-NANA:** You think we are very cool?  
**SAMUS:** Yes!  
**MOON-PEACH:** You want to be like us?  
**SAMUS:** Definitely!

After a brief pause, Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana burst out laughing.

**SAMUS:** What? What is it? Hey, what's so funny?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Nothing. (Snort) Sorry, Samus. Well, it was great to talk like this, but we're trying to find out what's behind these kidnappings. Maybe you should go wait over with the old folks.  
**SAMUS:** What? I don't want to go over by those old farts - I can help! I know who's behind this! What's why I got thrown in here!  
**MERC-NANA:** You do? Who?  
**SAMUS:** It was a guy, in a grey uniform of some kind!  
**LUNA:** Hm, that sounds like a Dark Kingdom general. If he's out on earth, he must have assigned a youma to take care of things here! We have to identify it before it strikes!  
**MOON-PEACH:** What about Kamek the Magikoopa? He's the one who drove us through the portal in the first place!  
**LUNA:** No, not Kamek. All the youma's are female remember?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Oh yeah.  
**MERC-NANA:** Well, that leaves fangirl-Samus here, and (looks at the old folks) Mrs. Glick. Who is acting the most unusual?

Everyone looks at Samus, who steps backward.

**SAMUS:** What? I'm not a youma, I swear! If I were a stupid, stupid youma, I would have revealed myself at the slightest suspicion, right?  
**LUNA:** She's got a point.  
**MOON-PEACH:** So that leaves...

They glance sideways at Mrs. Glick, who turns into a lizardlike youma.

**STUPID, STUPID YOUMA**: Okay, you got me! But you'll never defeat me, Sailor Punk!  
**MOON-PEACH:** We'll see about that! (Poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of love and justice (pose) Sailor Moon! (Pose)  
**MERC-NANA:** (pose) And I am Sailor Mercury! (Pose)  
**BOTH**: (pose) In the name of the moon we'll punish you!  
**SAMUS:** Wow! It's just like in the cartoon!

Moon-Peach turns to her, angrily.

**MOON-PEACH:** Will you shut up about that? This isn't a cartoon! (Back to Youma) Youma! I won't forgive you for kidnapping people and bringing them to this kind of place! (Pose) In the name of the moon (pose) I'll punish you! (Pose, pose)

**CUT TO:**

**REPETITIVE CUT-'N'-PASTE TIARA ATTACK**  
Moon-Peach appears before a trippy background with bubbles and stuff in it. Close-up of her tiara. She picks it off her head, and POSES. Then she holds it in front of her and SPINS twice on one leg. The tiara starts to glow becoming a disc of white light. She POSES.

**MOON-PEACH:** MOOON TIARRA ACSHUN!

She throws the tiara/disc like a Frisbee.

**CUT TO:**

**WEIRD DIMENSION**  
The moon-tiara races toward the Youma, but she catches it out of midair.

**YOUMA**: Ha, you think I could be destroyed with this toy? I was a world Frisbee champion in my youth, you know!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Well, I'll get you another way then!

She raises a hand, and the tiara moves, binding the youma's wrists and ankles together. It's trussed up like a turkey.

**YOUMA**: Hey! Waah! Woaaahhhh... (Falls over)

Merc-Nana uses her computer.

**MERC-NANA:** Sailor Moon's attacks will not be able to destroy this youma!  
**LUNA:** Well, we have to find some way of beating it!  
**MERC-NANA:** I would, (eyes Luna) but somebody decided I should only be able to make fog...  
**LUNA** (washes paws): Hey, don't look at me, I don't allocate the magic...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Luna! Sailor Mercury! Now's not the time for arguing!  
**SAMUS** (interrupts, holds paper and pen): Um, Sailor Moon? I know now might not be the time, but I was wondering if I could have your autograph?

Moon-Peach slaps a hand over her forehead.

**MOON-PEACH:** The appeal of fame is starting to wear off...

Luna sees that the pen Samus is holding is the transformation pen she left.

**LUNA:** Hey, the pen you found, Samus! Quickly, hold it up and say "Marsu powa, make up!" to become Sailor Mars, the soldier of flame!  
**SAMUS:** I can be Sailor Mars? (Pause, giddy) Oh my god! Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy...

The youma breaks its bonds, and Moon-Peach's tiara returns to her.

**LUNA:** Do it now, Samus!  
**SAMUS:** oh boy... what? Okay! MARSU POWA, MAKE UP! (Nothing happens) Hey, it didn't work... (Samus suddenly bursts into flame) Aiee! Help, I'm on fire! (She runs around madly, until the flames go out on their own accord, revealing that she now wears a uniform similar to the other two, except her bows etc are shades of red and black, and she wears high-heels instead of knee-boots. She looks down at herself with an expression that's a mix of shock and happiness) COOL!

(NOTE: And she's henceforth referred to as MARS-SAMUS when appropriate)

**MOON-PEACH:** Samus is the third soldier, Sailor Mars? (To Luna) Are you crazy, cat? She's not a good girl believe me!  
**LUNA:** Hey, give her a chance, Sailor Moon!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Yeah! I'll show you I can be good! Occasionally... (To Youma) Youma! The church depends on the collection money and hall fees of elderly people to survive! Kidnapping enough would bankrupt my family and is unforgivable! In the name of Mars, I'll p...  
**YOUMA**: You're going to punish me, right? Boy is this getting repetitive...  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Um, no! I'll chastise you in the name of Mars! Yeah, chastise! FIRE...

She TWIRLS and clasps her hands, pointing her index fingers out together. A spark appears just above the tips of her fingers.

**MARS-SAMUS:** ... SOUL!

She shoots a great big fireball at the youma. It hits and the youma is surrounded by a huge pillar of flame, eventually throwing it into the sky.

**YOUMA** (flying into the air): Aggh! If this is chastise, what's punish like?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Wow! That's not bad!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Wow! I'm good at this!  
**MERC-NANA:** The youma's gone! Lets get out of here!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Yeah, let's do that ASAP! (To old folks) Quick everyone, get on the bus!  
**TOADSWORTH:** Why?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Why? Because you'll be stranded here if you don't get out soon!  
**TOADSWORTH:** Aww, this is nothing. Did I ever tell you about the time I was trapped behind enemy lines in Koopa Kingdom? There we were, nothing but Koopas for hundreds of miles...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hm, this'll be harder than I thought. We need to get their attention and get them moving, fast!  
**MERC-NANA:** But how?  
**TOADSWRTH **(cont)**:** ... and we were really bored. So I did what we always did in those days, we created out own entertainment! But we didn't have many things to use, so we ended up stealing a pig and seeing how full of air we could pump it...  
**MOON-PEACH:** I have an idea. Huddle!

Moon, Mercury, Mars and Luna get in a huddle, and whisper among themselves for a while. Mars-Samus pokes her head up.

**MARS-SAMUS:** I don't know, Sailor Moon... it sounds pretty embarrassing.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Sailor Mars, if there's one thing you need to get used to in this job, its embarrassment.  
**MERC-NANA:** She's right, and it does sound like it could work.  
**TOADSWORTH **(cont)**:** ... that was fun for a while, but the novelty of an inflated pig soon wore off, so I devised a game - a wondrous game played on the beaches, where you had to hit the inflated pig over a high net, over and over again. Beach Volleyball was so popular that after the war we were chosen to represent Koopa Kingdom in the Olympic Games. I just wish the original pig had lived to see our success, but he had died somewhere in the middle of the second match.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Okay, let's do it then.

The soldiers line up, Mars-Samus at the left, Merc-Nana in the middle and Moon-Peach at the right, and start to do the can-can.

**MOON/MARS/MERC**: Da, diddy-diddy da da diddy-diddy da da diddy-diddy da da-da-da-da-da-da-da Da, diddy-diddy...  
**KRAG:** Hey, look! They're putting on a Broadway show!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hey, come over and join in, if you want!  
**CRANKY**: Oh boy, have you ever seen me dance? I'm a superstar!

All the old folks and Kamek line up behind Mars-Samus, and start doing the can-can. (Badly) Moon-Peach starts leading the line toward and then onto the bus.

**KRAG:** Heh, this reminds me of my own time in the navy... ah, good times, sweet nights...  
**KAMEK:** Woah, I gotta try this out in the clubs!  
**TOADSWORTH:** Of course, Mike Van Dames wasn't very happy about the death of his pig, and set his son Jean Claude on us, but I easily defeated him with my patented mixture of preying mantis kung fu and The Force.

They can-can their way onto the bus, and Kamek drives it out through the portal, towing the other bus behind it. Toadsworth continues his story as they do so.

**TOADSWORTH **(cont)**:** Unfortunately, after that I was double teamed by Hercules Puerto and Hieronymus Bosch, and not even my mastery of the art of Anything-Goes Martial Arts could win the day. I returned to home a broken man, which explains a lot about my offspring.

**CUT TO:**

**THE STREET**  
As Toadsworth is talking, the bus emerges from the portal and people start getting off.

**CUT TO:**

**ROOFTOP**  
MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA, MARS-SAMUS and LUNA watch the old folks getting off.

**MERC-NANA:** Wow, I'm relieved we managed to get out!  
**MOON-PEACH:** I'm amazed! I must admit, I thought we were goners for a while.  
**LUNA:** You all did very well today, I'm proud of you. Especially you, Sailor Mars.  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Wow, thanks! So... now that we're out of danger and out of sight, can I find out who you are? You know who I am, after all.  
**MOON-PEACH:** You really want to know?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** You bet! You're my idols; it would be amazing to know who you are!

Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana smile at each other.

**MOON-PEACH:** Okay, if you want to know...

Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana change their uniforms back to their regular clothes. There is a brief pause, then Mars-Samus's jaw drops.

**MARS-SAMUS:** My teammates, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury are... nerds?

Another pause, then...

**CUT TO:**

**VERY, VERY HIGH VIEW OF MUSHROOM KINGDOM**  
Samus's tortured scream is heard in every part of the town.

**PEACH** (voice-over): Needless to say, we saw fangirl Samus rarely from that point on, and she returned to her normal nasty self.

As a variety of unrelated soldier-fight scenes play on the screen, Nana giggles on the voiceover.

**SAMUS** (voiceover): That was a cruel trick, Princess Peach. In the name of Mars, I'll REALLY punish you!  
**PEACH** (voiceover): Hey, you can't punish me! I'm Sailor Moon!  
**LUNA** (voiceover): Girls, this is not the time.  
**NANA** (voiceover): She's right. We still had to defeat Waluigite!

**CUT TO:**

**AIRPORT**  
It's dark, after midnight. Far shot of Waluigite running away from a Jumbo Jet that is chasing him.

**SAMUS** (voiceover): Oh, he was easy! We ran him over with a jet!

Sure enough, the front plane wheel goes over Waluigite. SQUISH.

**WALUIGITE:** Owww... (Leg twitches)  
**SAMUS** (voiceover): So now that the Dark Kingdom is dealt with, I can punish these two!

**CUT TO:**

**A PUBLIC PARK**  
PEACH and NANA sit at either end of a bench. SAMUS is in the middle, and twisting Peach's arm behind her back. Nana is carrying LUNA.

**SAMUS:** This is what you get for tricking me!  
**PEACH:** Ow, that hurts! Samus, you're mean! Stop it!  
**LUNA:** Samus! Stop that right now! Nana, sit in-between them, will you?  
**NANA:** Um, okay...

She moves inbetween them, and Peach and Samus stop fighting.

**LUNA:** Now, I think we all know that the Dark Kingdom is more than just one general, don't we, Samus?  
**SAMUS:** Yes...  
**PEACH:** How long do you think it will be before they send out a new general to harass us then?  
**LUNA:** Not long, I'm afraid. I would be surprised if they haven't already chosen Waluigite's replacement.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Episode 4

**INT: BASEMENT OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE. NIGHT**  
MARIOITE stands alone in the basement. He's a copy of Mario, wearing a Dark Kingdom general's uniform.

**MARIOITE:** The stars know everything. The life of humans is governed by the stars and at one point in their lives the energy of a human will rise to a great level due to celestial intervention... I shall take that energy for our ruler. Stars, grant me the mystical power, show me the next target!

He sits down, and opens a newspaper.

**MARIOITE:** Okay, I'm a Sagittarius - (reads) Chance encounters and mistaken identities will bring love. Your confident attitude finds you favour with your boss, but beware of jealous co-workers trying to kill you. A set of badly dressed schoolgirls may cause problems. Regardless of everything else, you have a cool car despite being only 10, so you're doing fine. Your lucky colour is Grey, lucky number is 3 and the victim of the week is a tennis player.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A The Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 4: Cuties in weird crushes! Jupiter comes stumbling in...

By Matthew O'Connell

**PEACH** (Voice-over): Unfortunately it all ended in tragedy, as Marioite's colleague, Luigite caught up with him...

**CUT TO:**

**WOOD - NIGHT**

Marioite leans against a tree. He's somewhat worse for wear, as he has about 6 3-foot-long thorns stuck through his chest. NAGISA is kneeling beside him.

**NAGISA:** No, don't die!  
**MARIOITE:** Nagisa... I'm sorry... I really wanted to eat that chocolate parfait with you... and get a pizza, and some french fries... and some pasta too... and some ice cream... some milk... a nice big steak... (Starts to sit up) hey, I'm hungry, oh wait, I forgot I'm dead. (Dies)  
**NAGISA:** NOOOOOOOOOO!

MOON-PEACH, MARS-SAMUS and MERC-NANA watch from a vantage point some distance away.

**MARS-SAMUS:** I guess it's the same old story. Boy meets girl, girl gets crush, boy mistakes girl for Sailor Moon, boy steals girl's energy, girl doesn't seem to mind, boy uses girl to steal crystals, girl still doesn't seem to mind, boy uses girl to find out Sailor Moon's secret identity, girl STILL doesn't seem to mind, girl is kidnapped, boy finally gets a damn conscience, boy rescues girl, boy wants chocolate parfait, boy is killed by 3 foot thorns, girl is heartbroken.

Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana shake their heads sadly, tears in their eyes.

**MERC-NANA:** So sad... It's always the same.  
**MOON-PEACH:** I wonder how Nagisa could ever get over this...

**NAGISA** (voiceover): It took a while, but I eventually did, and I got myself a new boyfriend. The boy who'd stuck by me the closest when I was sad...  
**LUIGI** (voiceover): Me! Luigi!

**CUT TO:**

**THE BENCH IN THE PUBLIC PARK**  
LUIGI and NAGISA sit at the right-hand side of the bench. PEACH, NANA, SAMUS and LUNA are at the far left, looking at Luigi and Nasiga. It looks like they've just had a great shock and they've scrambled up on top of each other! Samus kneels on the bench, Peach has climbed up onto Samus's back, Nana has climbed up onto Peach's back and Luna is standing on Nana's shoulders.

**PEACH/NANA/SAMUS** (in unison, surprised): Woah! When did you two get here???  
**NAGISA:** Just now.  
**LUIGI:** You were doing some narration, and it looked like fun, so we thought we'd join in!  
**SAMUS** (glare): Well, if you don't mind, this is a private narration.  
**PEACH:** Sorry Nasiga.  
**NAGISA:** Hmph okay. We know when we're not wanted. Come on Luigi-san, let's leave them to their clique and go have some shrimp.  
**LUIGI:** Shrimp? Oh boy!

They get up and leave. The girls climb down off each other and sit on the bench.

**PEACH **(disturbed)**:** Anyone predicts that those two would get together?  
**SAMUS:** Not me...  
**NANA:** Nor I. But anyway (to Luna) what happened next?  
**LUNA:** Well, I think the Dark Kingdom changed their plan...

**INT: THE BIG BLACK SCAREY PLACE.**  
QUEEN BERYL sits on her throne. LUIGITE and WARIOITE stand before her.

**BERYL:** Our collection of energy is proceeding far too slowly! The Dark Kingdom has never had to do this before, but I've called in a consultant. Mr Yoshite?

YOSHITE enters.

**YOSHITE:** Right here, Queen.  
**BERYL:** Now that you have finished your analysis of our organization, what are your suggestions?  
**YOSHITE:** Well, first there's an issue of space. You have quite the network of huge caves here, but currently you just let your youmas and generals stay anywhere, so we have 2 or 3 youmas per cavern. (Holds out a cardboard box) Now, if you installed these "modular workspace and sleeping quarters" you could stack all your vassals and peons into a single cavern, and rent out the remaining space to other evil empires.  
**WARIOITE:** Hey now wait a minute. I'm not sleeping in a cardboard box!  
**YOSHITE:** We do of course have an executive model...

He pulls the cord on a curtain behind him, revealing a luxuriously decorated cardboard box, roughly the size of a penthouse.

**WARIOITE/LUIGITE:** Oooh...  
**YOSHITE:** As an extra bonus, I can get these modular units to you fairly cheap, from Yoshi Bros. Cardboard. Now, to my next finding... there is no sense of teamwork here. This kingdom is completely lacking in synergy, we can see it every day in the infighting, bickering and killing between Generals. If your generals could learn to work together on a task, the chances of success would rise, correct?  
**BERYL:** You might be right...  
**YOSHITE:** No, I'm always right. Now, it just so happens that I run a week's wilderness training workshop, to teach fundamental skills like teamwork and leadership and whatever. 99.3% of pointy-haired-bosses agree they always have more synergy in their company after going on a wilderness workshop.  
**BERYL:** Sounds good. We'll take it!

Fade out, and show caption "Two weeks later" Fade in to show Beryl, Luigite and Warioite slowly staggering into the throne room. Luigite and Warioite both carry a heavy backpack.

**WARIOITE:** Correct me if I'm wrong, your highness, but did we just pay 200 coins a head to walk from Beijing to Paris, while the Dinosaur drove ahead in a limo?  
**BERYL:** Yes... I suppose so. But we learned a lot about teamwork, didn't we?  
**LUIGITE:** Did we? I didn't.  
**WARIOITE:** Neither did I. He didn't talk to us once during the trip.  
**BERYL:** Well, I did... didn't I?

**CUT TO:**

**ANOTHER PART OF THE DARK KINGDOM**  
YOSHITE stands counting a stack of money, laughing quietly to himself. He turns as he hears some shouting behind him, and sees a huge mass of youmas charging at him, led by Luigite and Warioite.

**WARIOITE:** Die!  
**YOSHITE:** Uh oh, looks like they've caught up faster than average. (Into communicator) Beam me up, Shake King.

**SHAKE KING** (filtered): I told you this was a bad idea.  
**YOSHITE:** Never mind that, just beam me up before they kill me.  
**SHAKE KING** (filtered): 16000 Coins.  
**YOSHITE:** Forget it. (Throws away communicator gets another one) Beam me up, Andross.  
**ANDROSS** (filtered): Sure.

Yoshite disappears in a flash of light, just as the Dark Kingdom guys get to him.

**WARIOITE:** Damn! We missed him!

Beryl glides over.

**BERYL:** Warioite, hunt down that consultant and destroy him! The rest of you, forget what he said... we're going back to basics. Luigite...

Beryl waves a hand over the orb on her staff. A black crystal comes out of the orb, and throws itself over to Luigite, who catches it.

**BERYL:** Forget about human energy... if we had the Ginzoushou, or Silver Plot Device, we would be able to awaken our great ruler instantly. The Ginzoushou will shine when all the "Rainbow Crystals" are collected - and this Dark crystal will lead you to the humans that have the rainbow crystals. Got it?  
**LUIGITE:** Uh... could you repeat that? What crystals lead to what again?  
**BERYL:** Just use the dark one to find the rainbow ones for now, dimwit.  
**LUIGITE:** Huh, okay...

**CUT TO:**

**STREET - DAY**  
PEACH walks home from school, LUNA beside her.

**LUNA:** I must say, Peach, I'm very impressed with how well you girls are doing. You're tackling our enemies responsibly and competently, even though you're a bit young. I was occasionally afraid that the soldiers would turn out to be ditzes, but I'm glad you have a brain in your head.

**PEACH** (smiling, but a bit embarrassed): He he... well, thanks Luna... I'd prefer it if it didn't seem so silly though, I mean, couldn't we change the uniform a little or something...

Peach's not looking where she's going, and walks into a Boom-Boom. Boom-Boom with Sumo Bro & Chargin' Chuck tower over Peach. All three work for Bowser.

**BOOM-BOOM**: Hey shrimp, watch where you're goin'!  
**SUMO BRO**: Yeah, you could hurt someone like that!  
**PEACH:** S-sorry, I didn't mean...  
**BOOM-BOOM**: It doesn't matter what ya meant! We're gonna need some compensation for this! You've got a star, don'cha?  
**PEACH:** Star? N-no, I don't...  
**CHUCK**: Liar! 'Course ya do! Get her Boys!

Boom-Boom pushes Peach over. Sumo Bro and Chuck hold Peach down, while Boom-Boom goes through Peach's bag.

**PEACH:** Agh! Hey, don't... hey, lemmie go!  
**DAISY** (off-screen): Hey! Leave her alone!

Camera quickly pans over to PRINCESS DAISY. (1ST Appearance "Super Mario Land") She stands with a hand on her hip and her schoolbag over her shoulder.

**CHUCK**: Hey, you're another princess, aren't ya?  
**BOOM-BOOM**: Better leave us alone, or you're next!  
**DAISY**: I don't think so, that girl's my sister! I look after her!  
**BOOM-BOOM**: You wanna be a hero? Okay, you asked for it!

**PEACH** (voiceover): Needless to say, when bad guys in defence of an innocent victim outnumber a lone heroine...

Show quick flashes of Daisy uppercut Boom-Boom, kicking Chargin' Chuck, and throwing Sumo Bro over her shoulder

**LUNA** (voiceover): ... she always beats the stuffing out of them, Absolutely always.

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**  
Peach and Luna walk with Daisy. Dear God, Peach and Daisy are sisters? At least Mario and Luigi are Brothers.

**PEACH:** Um... thanks for helping back there... how'd you do that?  
**DAISY:** No problem, glad to do it. Back when we were always moving around with my dad, he's teach me some of the stuff he learned from the army. (Looks around nervously) Come on, I'll walk you home in case they come back.

They continue, and pass the Good-E-Mart. there seems to a huge commotion going on outside.

**PEACH:** Hey, what's going on over there?  
**DAISY:** I don't know... lets check it out.

Close up on Luna.

**LUNA** (thinking): Hm, I sense a strange energy. We'd better be careful.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE GOOD-E-MART**  
There's a huge crowd of people gathered around a crane-game machine. You know, those crappy things where you try to catch soft toys from a bin with a crane. A Koopa Troopa in his teens to early-20s (JOE) is playing on it; he has no sense of embarrassment apparently. An almost full bag of soft toys lies at his feet. A large group of people, including NANA and SAMUS have gathered to watch the freak.  
He puts another coin into the machine, and positions the crane over a bootleg Sailor Merc-Nana plush doll. As the crane descends, he places a hand on the glass, and the doll ascends up into the grabber, followed by Super Mario plush as well.  
He picks them up out of the tray, and holds them before him - suddenly a huge smile appears on his face, and he stares blankly at the dolls.

**JOE** (to self): He he... plushies for Joe, more plushies for Joe... (He rubs his cheek against the Yoshi doll, making "YOSHI" noises, and then seems to wake up, as he notices people are watching him) Hey, what are you looking at?

All the people looking at him take a step backward. Joe looks at the dolls.

**JOE:** Man, I hate it when that happens in public...

He puts the dolls in a bag, and another coin in the machine. Camera pans over to Peach, who walks over to Nana and Samus.

**PEACH:** Heya... what's going on? Who is this guy?  
**NANA:** Hi Peach. I think he's called Crane Guy Joe.  
**SAMUS:** He's some freak who obsessively plays crane games until he has all the dolls from them. I heard he's cleaned out most of the games around Mushroom Kingdom in the last few days.  
**PEACH:** Hm, that's weird. He must have some kind of fetish or something...

Tight shot of Joe's profile. His face is turning red with excitement as he wins another doll. Suddenly, the muzzle of a shotgun is pressed into his cheek.

**HAMMER BRO** (OS): Please to be stepping away from the machine.

Cut backwards to show 2 HAMMER BROS pointing shotguns at Joe. Joe puts up his hands and steps back.

**HAMMER BRO:** I do not know how you have been so lucky with my rigged amusement, but I must ask you to step away and allow others to waste their money on it. Take your ill-gotten toys and leave please.  
**JOE:** Hey man, I was winning those dolls fair and square...

Hammer Bros cock their guns. Joe backs away.

**HAMMER BRO:** Nobody wins those dolls fair and square! It's not possible!  
**JOE:** Okay, all right, I'm going...

He grabs his bag and leaves, passing Peach, Nana and Samus who watch him go.

**SAMUS:** I'd say that one's missing a few buttons.  
**NANA:** He looks a lot like he needs psychiatric help.  
**PEACH:** Yeah, I agree... what do you think, Daisy?

Camera pans back to show Daisy standing next to Peach. She has a lovesick look on her face.

**DAISY:** My old boyfriend...  
**PEACH:** Huh?  
**DAISY:** He looks just like my old boyfriend, who I loved because, he so handsome...

LUIGI appears from out of nowhere.

**LUIGI:** Hey, I resemble that remark!  
**DAISY:** Was I talking to you, Luigi?  
**LUIGI:** Eep! (Backs away)  
**DAISY** (lovelorn again): Anyway... ever since then, I haven't really been able to take him for a date...  
**LUIGI** (OS): If you want me back, I'm right here!  
**DAISY** (to Joe): Come back here, you creep!

Daisy runs off, chasing after Joe.

**PEACH:** Wow, pretty weird.  
**LUNA:** Peach, I'm concerned about Daisy... we should follow her; I got a strange feeling from that man.

**CUT TO:**

**A PARK**  
Daisy walks through the park, looking for Joe. She eventually spots him in amongst the trees, sitting cross-legged on the grass and playing with his new toys. She hides behind a bush and watches him.

**DAISY:** Ah, he's so cute and wimpy... just like my old boyfriend...

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF JOE AND HIS TOYS**  
Joe plays with his toys - a frog doll and the Merc-Nana doll.

**JOE:** So what do you like about me, Yoshi?

**JOE** (to himself, as Yoshi): Everything! You are great, Joe! And you're so good at the crane game!  
**JOE** (as self): Well thank you Yoshi. What about you, Sailor Mercury?  
**JOE** (to self as Mercury): I think you're the smartest and coolest person ever, Joe! I really like the way you casually blow off nice peopling, just to be an asshole!

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF DAISY**  
She continues to stare lovingly toward Joe. But there's a rasping sound coming from somewhere. Camera moves out to show Peach, Samus and Nana hiding behind the same bush. Nana is grinding her teeth, and looks severely PISSED OFF.

**DAISY:** Woah, where did you three come from? Is everyone following me about today?  
**SAMUS:** Hey Nana, I didn't know you swore like that.  
**NANA** (incandescent RAGE): I Don't. If he doesn't get his hands off that doll in 6 seconds, I'll...  
**SAMUS:** Yeesh, calm down girl. It's just a doll, not you.  
**JOE** (OS): I'm glad I got you Sailor Mercury, and not that nasty Sailor Mars. (Samus frowns) I got one of her once and had to throw her in the trash, (Samus glares) she just didn't understand me.  
**SAMUS** (deadpan): Okay, he's dead.  
**NANA** (glaring): Lets get 'im.

They nod at each other, and grab their transformation pens, but are interrupted by a coughing coming from the ground. Luna is hiding in the bush and glares up at them.

**LUNA** (whisper): I sincerely hope you're not thinking of transforming in front of Daisy, and attacking a civilian?  
**NANA/SAMUS:** Aw... but...

Luna shakes her head.

**SAMUS:** Okay Luna... come on Nana, lets go find a private place to transform, and then get him!  
**NANA:** All right!

They run off.

**LUNA:** Hey, that's not what I meant... aw, forget it.

Pan back to Daisy and Peach. Daisy apparently hasn't noticed any of this, as she's still looking at Joe.

**DAISY:** Okay, I'm going to make my move.  
**PEACH:** Are you sure? He seems a bit... disturbed... to me.  
**DAISY:** Don't worry Sister... I'm sure that once you get past his odd liking for toys, he's a great guy. Wish me luck!

She gets up from behind the bush, and walks over towards Joe.

**DAISY:** Hi, I...

Joe grabs his toys and holds them to his chest.

**JOE** (snarling): MY PRECIOUS!

**CUT TO:**

**BEHIND BUSH**  
Peach has been watching this, and Daisy sits down beside her.

**DAISY:** Okay, on to plan B.  
**PEACH:** You're going to bother with plan B after that?  
**DAISY:** He's a bit edgy and possessive, but I'm sure that I can change him.  
**PEACH:** Don't you think you're being a little ridiculous?  
**DAISY:** I'm the ruler of Sarasaland. Ridiculous is my forte. I mean...

As she gets to "I mean", LUIGITE teleports into the area near Joe. Joe is a bit scared.

**DAISY:** ... hey, who the heck is that?

Luna sticks her head out from the bush.

**LUNA** (quiet): A Dark Kingdom general! (Heads through bush to Peach) Peach, sneak away and change to Sailor Moon!

Peach looks at Luna and nods.

**CUT TO:**

**CLEARING IN PARK.**  
Joe sits on the ground, looking up at Luigite.

**JOE** (scared): Who, who are you? And what do you want with my plushies?  
**LUIGITE:** What do I look like? A softie? I don't want your plushies. It's you I'm interested in!  
**JOE:** W-w-what?

Luigite throws the black crystal toward Joe.

**LUIGITE:** Dol!

The crystal spins, and hangs in the air. It then starts giving out weirdo rays represented by loads of concentric circles. The concentric circles make Joe even weirder - viz, he starts shaking and screaming.

**DAISY** (getting up): Hey, what do you think you're doing to him?  
**PEACH** (whisper): Daisy, no! Be careful!  
**DAISY:** Why don't you pick on someone your own size?  
**LUIGITE:** Don't get in my way, or you'll be sorry.  
**DAISY:** Hmph! Hi-ya!

Luigite snatches the crystal back, as Daisy attacks him. She tries to kick and punch for several seconds, but Luigite just dodges. Eventually however she manages to get a punch in on Luigite's cheek, and he staggers.

**LUIGITE:** Hey! You hit me! But you won't stop me... I WILL have the rainbow crystal! Dol!

He throws out the Dark Crystal again, and Joe starts screaming again. A red crystal comes out of his chest, and flies over to Luigite's hand.

**LUIGITE:** I got it!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hey! Stop right there!  
**DAISY:** Sailor Moon?

Yes, at some point Peach has finally got her hands on that brooch and changed to Sailor Moon mode. Luigite is unimpressed.

**LUIGITE:** You're too late. Take care of them, Youma Gesen!

He disappears, teleporting away. Moon-Peach and Daisy gasp, and then turn to Joe. He's kneeling on the ground and screaming - a huge whirlwind rises up around him, and when it subsides, a youma shaped like a robotic man is there.

**YOUMA GESEN:** GESEN!  
**DAISY:** What the?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hey! He turned into a youma?  
**GESEN:** GESEN!

He points his arm at Peach, and presses some buttons on his gauntlet. It makes some "video-gamey" beeps and bloops. Then the hand turns into a grabber that shoots straight at Moon-Peach, seizing her and binding her arms to her sides.

**DAISY:** Look out!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Agh! Help!

She tries to break out of the grip, but she can't.

**LUNA:** Sailor Moon! (To self) Oh, where did Samus and Nana go? I thought they would be back soon...

**CUT TO:**

**LADIES TOILETS**  
Samus and Nana stand outside the cubicles, waiting for the current users to come out. After a few moments the toilets flush, and the 2 doors open. The current occupants leave and Samus and Nana run in, closing the doors behind them.

**SAMUS:** MARSU POWA, MAKE UP!  
**NANA:** MURCURI POWA, MAKE UP!

A huge fire flares in the cubicle that Samus is in, while water starts flooding out of the cubicle Nana is in. This continues for a few seconds, until Merc-Nana opens her door and the blackened and charred door falls off of Mars-Samus's cubicle, and she exits it. The floor is flooded with water, and Mars-Samus's cubicle is on fire. She looks at it, and puts her hands to her mouth.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Oops...  
**MERC-NANA:** Hm, maybe we should avoid doing that in enclosed spaces...  
**MARS-SAMUS** (panicking): Well, what are you waiting for? Put it out!  
**MERC-NANA:** I'll try... SHABON SPRAYY!

She tries to use the Shabon Spray to put the fire out.

**CUT TO:**

**THE FIGHT**  
Things are the same as they were - Gesen has Moon-Peach in a hold, Daisy and Luna are watching.

**LUNA** (to self): Well, I hope they return soon! I don't know how much longer Sailor Moon can hold on.

Close-up of Moon-Peach, She struggles against the bonds for a few seconds... and then they suddenly disappear.

**MOON-PEACH:** Huh?

She looks up, and sees that Daisy has picked up Gesen, and is holding it over her head! As she holds the pose, a symbol similar to a green 4 appears on her forehead.

**DAISY:** I'm a big fan of Sailor Moon, so leave her alone!  
**GESEN:** GESEN?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Wow, that's incredible! I had no idea Daisy could lift so much!

Daisy suddenly turns red as her shoulders slump, and stumbles to the side a little before falling over.

**LUNA** (deadpan): That's because she can't.  
**DAISY:** Well, I think I hurt him more than I hurt myself... ow.

Gesen gets up.

**GESEN:** GESEN!  
**LUNA:** Quick, Daisy, get up!  
**DAISY:** Woah, the cat is talking! Cool!  
**LUNA** (flattered): Well, thanks for saying, I'm glad...  
**DAISY:** Are you one of those Japanese robot pets, like an AIBO?  
**LUNA** (no longer flattered): No. Hmph! Quickly, take this transformation pen, and say "Jupita Powa, Make Up!" Then help Sailor Moon defeat the youma!  
**DAISY:** What? It sounds strange but... okay. (Takes it, and holds it up) JUPITA POWA, MAKE UP!

Daisy is immediately covered by electricity - we see her hair standing out on end, and an x-ray of her skeleton in a "shock" pose.

**DAISY:** Bzzt-but-bzztt-bu-buztz-bu-butz-buzz...

The electricity subsides quickly, leaving a slightly smoking SAILOR JUPITER (JUP-DAISY) standing there. She's dressed similarly to Moon-Peach, except in shades of green with pink bows.

**JUP-DAISY** (breathless): Woah... what a rush...  
**LUNA:** You are the fourth Sailor Soldier, Sailor Jupiter!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Great! We finally got another!  
**JUP-DAISY:** I am? So, uh... what do I do?  
**GESEN** (getting up): GESEN!  
**LUNA:** Quickly, use the "Supreim thunda!" on that!  
**JUP-DAISY:** "Supreim thunda?" Okay, I'll give it a shot...

She jumps up into the air, toward Gesen.

**JUP-DAISY:** My planet Jupiter, bring the storms, dark clouds, and thunder!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Who do you think you are, Storm?  
**LUNA:** Just do the attack!  
**JUP-DAISY:** Awww... okay.

A lightning rod extends out of the gem in Jup-Daisy's tiara. Lightning crackles around it.

**JUP-DAISY:** SUPREIM THUNDA!

She shoots the lighting at the youma. As it's mechanical and electrical, it crackles and almost shuts down from being overloaded.

**GESEN:** GE-GE-GESEN!  
**MOON-PEACH:** I think it's almost down! I'll finish it off with my tiara! (goes to grab it...)  
**LUNA:** No, Sailor Moon, don't! That youma was originally a human - well, a really weird one, but a human nonetheless.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Well... that's bad! I can't kill a human!  
**JUP-DAISY:** What can we do? We can't let it go either!  
**LUNA:** You have to heal it!

Luna does a BIG TWIRLY BACKFLIP, and a wand with a crescent-moon shaped head appears. It falls into Moon-Peach's hands.

**LUNA:** It's the Moon Wand. Wave it about a lot and say "Mooon Healinggu Escalation!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Is that all I do in this job? Wave things about and shout?  
**LUNA:** Pretty much, yeah. No heavy lifting.  
**MOON-PEACH **(resigned)**:** Oh well. Here goes then...

**CUT TO:**

**REPETITIVE MOON WAND ATTACK**  
Closeup of Moon-Peach's hand - she spins the Moon Wand in it, and then lowers it to POSE with it in front of her face. Then she sticks out the wand, and SPIN SPIN SPIN WAVE WAVE WAVE POSE.

**MOON-PEACH:** MOOON HEALINGGU ESCALATION!

**CUT TO:**

**BACK TO THE PARK**  
GESEN glows brightly, stretching out his arms and legs.

**GESEN:** Refresh!

He turns back into JOE, and falls over. There is silence for a moment.

**MOON-PEACH:** Refresh?  
**LUNA:** Don't ask me. I'm just a cat.  
**JUP-DAISY:** So... forgive me for being a clueless newbie, but what just happened?  
**LUNA:** You are one of the Sailor Soldiers, Sailor Jupiter, the soldier of Thunder and lightning, and also coconuts and oak leaves for some reason. Sailor Moon, now we have 4 members, and the Moon Wand has appeared in your hands... you must be the leader! Now, we have to find the princess!

An ambulance pulls up, and DR MARIO gets out. (NOTE: Dr. Mario is Mario's alter ego)

**DR MARIO:** Hello everybody!  
**MOON-PEACH/JUP-DAISY:** Uh, hi Dr Mario...

Dr Mario sees Joe lying on the ground.

**DR MARIO:** Mama Mia! You caught the escaped mental patient we were looking for!  
**JUP-DAISY:** We did? Well, it was nothing really...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Uh, yeah, nothing we can't handle.

**DR MARIO:** Well then... come on Joe!

Two men come out of the ambulance, straitjacket Joe, and load him onto a stretcher. He's still partly unconscious, just groaning occasionally.

**DR MARIO:** Thanks again, we need to get Joe back to his treatment. Bye-Bye everybody!  
**MOON-PEACH/JUP-DAISY:** Bye Dr Mario!

The ambulance doors close, and it drives off. Follow it for a moment.

**DR MARIO** (OS): Now Joe, since you missed so much of your treatment, we'll have to increase the voltage for just now. Or should we increase the amps? Eh, lets do both!  
**JOE** (OS): No... not more electricity...

Loud ZAPPING noises are heard, and lights flash in the ambulance. Joe's screams are heard over the noise.

**DR MARIO:** Oh, that was a good one. Now, how do you feel about dolls?  
**JOE:** Eugh...

**CUT TO:**

**BACK TO THE PARK (AGAIN)**  
Moon-Peach and Jup-Daisy watch the ambulance leave.

**JUP-DAISY:** Well, it's good to know he's in safe hands.

MARS-SAMUS and MERC-NANA run over.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Okay, if you see anybody claiming we vandalized a restroom, we didn't do it, okay?  
**LUNA:** What are you talking about?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Never mind. (Cracks knuckles) Now, where's that freak?  
**MOON-LISA:** The state took him away.

Both Mars-Samus and Merc-Nana bow their heads sadly.

**MARS-SAMUS/MERC-NANA:** Aww...  
**MERC-NANA:** I guess we were too slow... oh well. Who's the new girl?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** And where'd you get that tacky wand?

**PEACH** (voiceover): We explained everything that had happened to Nana and Samus, and told Daisy about everything we knew.

**CUT TO:**

**THE PARK BENCH**  
PEACH, NANA, SAMUS and DAISY sit on the bench. Nana holds LUNA on her lap.

**DAISY:** So, what do we do now?  
**LUNA:** We need to find the princess.  
**SAMUS:** Where is she?  
**LUNA:** I... don't know.  
**NANA:** How will we find her?  
**LUNA:** I... don't know.  
**PEACH:** What does she look like?  
**LUNA:** I... don't know.

Samus picks up Luna, and holds her level with her face.

**SAMUS:** Do you know ANYTHING about her?  
**LUNA:** Not really... but I have Central Control working on it! They're trying to get us some clues.  
**PEACH:** You mentioned them before. Who are central control?  
**LUNA:** Well, um... y'know, I don't really know.

A sweatdrop appears over everyone's heads, and they bow their heads. Peach puts her face in her hands.

**PEACH:** Mama Mia, We're doomed...

End of part 4


	5. Episode 5

**INTRO MONTAGE**

Shot of PEACH, standing with her back to you, She turns and smiles as the VO speaks.

**PEACH** (voiceover): Hi, my name's Princess Toadstool, but you call me Peach!

She makes the victory sign with her fingers. Shot of Peach's swish-swish-swish-swish transformation sequence.

**PEACH** (voiceover): It's strange but, as you should know if you've been paying any attention, somehow I've ended up as the pretty suited soldier for love and justice, Sailor Moon! And my friends are -

Shot of NANA turning into MERC-NANA

**PEACH** (VO cont): the kind genius girl, Nana...

Shot of SAMUS turning into MARS-SAMUS

**PEACH** (VO cont): the beautiful and hot blooded Samus Aran

Shot of DAISY turning into JUP-DAISY

**PEACH** (VO cont): and our newest, Daisy! There are four of us now, so we should have nothing to worry about...

A Close-up of MOON-PEACH'S face and she does her salute.

**PEACH** (VO cont): but I can't help it. With something this weird, wouldn't you worry a little? Oh well, we'll try our best!

MOON-PEACH giggles a little.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 5: Shine on, you crazy crystal! It's the Birth of Sailor Venus.

By Matthew O'Connell

**ESTABLISHING SHOT: PEACH'S CASTLE**

**CUT TO:**

**KITCHEN**

QUEEN TOADSTOOL stands by the sink, washing dishes. KING TOADSTOOL is sitting at the table. Queen Toadstool acts as normal but has a vertical blue line on her forehead and a blue mark on each cheek.

**QUEEN TOADSTOOL **(concerned)**:** Dear, have you noticed how strangely Peach's been acting lately?  
**KING TOADSTOOL:** Yeah, I was just talking with one of her teachers yesterday.  
**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** Oh? What were they saying?  
**KING TOADSTOOL:** Her gym marks have finally improved! She's getting really good at (starts counting on fingers) dodge ball...

The background behind King Toadstool suddenly changes to a picture of PEACH diving out of the way of a ball. It then fades to a similar pose of MOON-PEACH diving out of the way of a huge fireball.

**KING TOADSTOOL** (cont, next finger): sprinting...

The background behind King Toadstool changes to a picture of PEACH running down the track leaving other students in her wake. It then fades to a similar pose of MOON-PEACH sprinting away from a GIANT YOUMA.

**KING TOADSTOOL** (cont, next finger): high jump...  
**QUEEN TOADSTOOL** (interrupting, background back to norm): That's not what I mean, Dear! I mean the late nights! Her being so secretive about where she's been! That cat that's always following her about! Her new group of friends! I mean... Nana is okay, but I don't approve of that Aran tramp at all, and I don't know if she should spend so much time around Daisy.  
**KING TOADSTOOL:** You're worrying too hard Honey, Peach's fine. She's just putting effort into getting more popular, and that's what's important.  
**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** Hmmmph. Well, it's not just Peach. People all over the street have been acting oddly, and nobody notices. Like when all those space pirates and that crazy scientist moved in with Tatanga?  
**KING TOADSTOOL:** That's nothing unusual; Tatanga's always been a handsome if bland lady-killer.

Queen Toadstool just gapes at King Toadstool.

**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** Did you just say?

She is interrupted by extremely loud ROCK MUSIC, and looks up at the ceiling.

**KING TOADSTOOL:** Well, at least Mario's still as American as apple pie and evil faceless corporations. MARIO! IT'S TOO LOUD!

**MARIO** (shout, OS): YOU'RE TOO OLD!

Thankfully for the rest of the scene, the music does turn down a bit.

**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** And that's another thing. When did Mario become the world's biggest Metallica fan?  
**KING TOADSTOOL** (overacting): I don't know, but it's clear that the devils own music has got to the boy! (Stands) He needs some discipline and fast. There's only one thing to do! (Reaches under table and pulls out a huge rucksack, which he puts on.) Honey, I'm taking Mario on a training trip to China.  
**QUEEN TOADSTOOL** (pointing at King Toadstool): Okay, but if he doesn't come back a man among men you're both committing suicide.  
**KING TOADSTOOL** (casual salute): You got it.

Suddenly an odd creature jumps onto the table. It looks a bit like a rabbit with 8 spidery (but still furry) legs. Queen Toadstool gasps.

**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** A bug!  
**KING TOADSTOOL:** A bug?  
**DONKEY KONG** (OS): A bug!

Whip pan over to DIDDY KONG and DONKEY KONG standing in the doorway. DK carries a small hammer.

**DK**: DIE bug!

DK leaps onto the kitchen table, and smashes the hammer down on the bug, which disappears in a puff of smoke. It Silence for a moment, until Queen Toadstool puts her hands on her hips.

**QUEEN TOADSTOOL:** We'll, I'm just glad none of us are affected!

PEACH enters the room, and looks at everyone, a puzzled look on her face. She seems to shrug her shoulders, and walks out.

**LUNA** (to self): Weird people...

**EXT: THE GOOD-E-MART CAR PARK, NIGHT**  
LUNA walks along the front of the G-E-M building, heading for the door.

**LUNA:** Time to talk to Central Control again.

The doors open for her, and she heads inside.

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE THE GOOD-E-MART**

HAMMER BRO is behind the counter, but aside from him and Luna the store is deserted. Luna sees the "Kart Fighter" arcade machine and heads over, jumping up to the control platform.

Quick shot of the game – Peach and Yossy (Yoshi) fight on a dessert with Pokies in the BG. They stand fighting each other.

**GAME SFX**: Punch! Punch! Kick! Punch! Kick! Kick! Punch! Kick! Punch!

**LUNA:** Central control certainly seems to have a twisted sense of humour. Oh well, let's see this code again. (She puts her paws on the controls) Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.

The screen freezes and turns light blue. An oscilloscope-line on the screen synchronizes with Control's speech.

**CONTROL** (male, filtered): Password accepted. Welcome, Luna. Do you have a report to make?  
**LUNA:** Yes. We have found and awakened Sailor Jupiter! Sailor Moon, though occasionally still sceptical, has taken to her role well and is proving to be a good leader, and the other 3 Sailor Soldiers are adapting just as well.

**CONTROL** (filtered): That is excellent news, Luna.  
**LUNA:** Oh yes... also, Sailor Mercury requests that she be given a power that is actually useful.  
**CONTROL** (filtered): Again? Persistent, isn't she?  
**LUNA** (groan): You have no idea...  
**CONTROL** (filtered): Okay, just tell her she can have the computer, or a new power, but not both at once until she gets to level 6. Is there anything else?  
**LUNA:** Well... the last youma we fought was created from a human - the Dark Kingdom general stole a Rainbow Crystal from it.  
**CONTROL**: Hm. That is very worrying... you know what you have to do.

Luna nods at the screen.

**CUT TO:**

**FROM BEHIND HAMMER BRO'S COUNTER**

Hammer Bro looks out over his counter. A black paw reaches up onto the counter and leaves 20 coins there.

**LUNA:** You didn't see nuthin'.  
**HAMMER BRO** (taking money): That is correct, small black talking cat.

**MONTAGE**: the Sailor Soldiers fighting some of the Great Youma's - for example, Little Mac (from Punch-Out) with a pair of angel wings and boxing gloves.

**PEACH** (voiceover): What followed was a very difficult process of waiting for Luigite to strike, letting him take the gem, and then taking the gem from him while also trying to defeat the new youma. Too often we freed the person, but failed to get the gem... we needed some help. But who is it?

**INT: PEACH'S BEDROOM, NIGHT**  
PEACH sits on the end of her bed. DAISY sits on the bed and leans against the headrest. SAMUS sits on the floor, reading a Sailor V comic. (American comic, not a manga, poor girl) NANA sits on Peach's comfy chair, working on her computer.

**DAISY:** There's got to be someone we could ask for help.  
**SAMUS:** What about those NERVOUS guys like the ones with the giant robots?  
**PEACH:** I tried talking to them, but they seem pretty suspicious and manipulative... I don't trust them.

**CUT TO:**

**MUSHROOM KINGDOM TOWN SQUARE - NIGHT**  
Shot of the statue of Shigeru Miyamoto. A LARGE PURPLE METAL FOOT crushes it. Pan up to see a HUGE PURPLE ROBOT fighting a giant monster. The purple robot proceeds to get its ass handed to it, until it is disabled.

**CUT TO:**

**COCKPIT OF ROBOT**  
LUIGI is in the pilot's seat.

**LUIGI:** Uh oh, this ain't good...

A HOLOGRAMATIC PAULINE (Game "Donkey Kong") appears in front of him. It's obviously the robot's form of communication. She's seen in a square pop-up window.

**PAULINE:** Luigi, you suck! Now I'm going to have to upstage you and defeat the monster myself!  
**LUIGI:** But I...

She disappears, and A HOLOGRAMATIC MARIO appears. He's steepled his fingers in front of him, and is mostly in shadow except for his bright eyes.

**MARIO**: I'm very disappointed in you Bro.  
**LUIGI:** But Mario...

He disappears, and a HOLOGRAMATIC WARIO appears. He pounds his fist into his hand angrily.

**WARIO**: My lawyer was standing next to that statue you crushed, Luigi. Remind me to hurt you badly later.  
**LUIGI:** But...

Wario disappears, and Luigi clutches his hands to the side of his head.

**LUIGI:** Agh, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY MORE! I don't like giant robots or fighting! All I wanted to do was cook-fried shrimp!

A HOLOGRAMATIC ROSALINA appearing interrupts his freak-out.

**ROSALINA**: So you screwed up again? Well, never mind... just come back to my place and check out the anthropomorphic penguin I just got! (Wink)

She disappears, and Luigi shudders.

**LUIGI** (to self): I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away, I mustn't run away...

**CUT TO:**

**DONKEY KONG'S TREEHOUSE**  
Closeup of SQUAWKS who sits in the birdcage by himself. He glares a little at the camera.

**SQUAWKS:** Squawk squaawk.  
**SUBTITLE:** So many idiots.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
PEACH, DAISY, SAMUS and NANA are still here.

**DAISY:** Well, we could always ask Mario to help.  
**PEACH:** I would ask him, but I don't think it's a good idea to risk him finding out about us... and he's got some problems of his own since he came back from his trip with Dad...

**CUT TO:**

**MUSHROOM STREET**  
A chase scene is in progress. Closeup of Mario's face, as he runs away from a number of people in the background behind him – DIXIE KONG who wears a pink gymnastics leotard and twirls a ribbon, TINY KONG who is dressed in a chinese-style blue dress and carries two colorful but heavy maces, and DIDDY KONG who is wearing long red robes and has no (visible) weapons.

**DIXIE** (slightly insane): Ah ha ha ha ha! Mario, my darling! Marry me today and we shall live in bliss for all eternity!  
**TINY** (Chinese accent for some reason): You crazy girl. Mario marries Tiny-Chan! Wo ai ni!  
**DIDDY:** Mario, I'll kill you, and then I'll be able to marry Dixie myself!  
**MARIO:** (huff) But, I don't want to marry anyone! (Puff) I'm just a plumber! (Huff) Aw geez, what did I do to deserve this?

Mario glances over his shoulder at the pursuing three and runs into somebody. Mario falls backward to the ground. Camera moves down to the ground next to him to look up at the person - it's CHUNKY KONG.  
**CHUNKY** (drama king): Who dares to assault the personage of Chunky Kong?  
**MARIO:** Oh great, this is the last thing I need now.

Chunky draws a bokken, a Japanese wooden sword.

**CHUNKY:** Ah, it is the rogue, Mario. Have you no respect for your betters, cretin? Although it may be wasted on an ignoramus such as yourself, it must fall to me to teach you a lesson in proper behaviour. (To self) For that is surely my duty - being so noble can be a true chore it seems, but that is the role of a master swordsman such as I, to punish the wrong, champion the cause of civility and, on occasion, sell Amway as well. But enough talk... (To Mario) have at you!

But Mario has gone!

**CHUNKY:** He... e's buggered off!  
**TINY**: Silly overblown sword boy right, he scarpers!  
**DIDDY:** Mario, you coward! Where have you fled?

**CUT TO:**

**SIDE STREET**  
Mario tiptoes down the side street, looking over his shoulder occasionally.

**MARIO:** Phew, I finally lost them.  
**BOWSER** (OS): Prepare to die, Super Mario!

Mario turns to see BOWSER standing over him. Bowser waves a switchblade at Mario.

**MARIO:** AAAGH! BOWSER!  
**BOWSER:** Yes Mario, it's me again! Finally, today is the day I'll get my revenge for all the pain and hardship you've caused me!

There is a sudden deluge of water. Quickly pan up to a second floor window. WARIO pokes his head out the window. He carries an empty bucket.

**WARIO**: HA HA HA HA! Wario soaked ya good!

Quick pan back down. Mario has a pigtail now, and a small black pot-bellied pig wielding a switchblade is assaulting him. Mario kicks the pig out the way.

**MARIO-CHAN**: Uh, great meeting you again, Bowser...  
**PIG** (infuriated): Squeeee!  
**MARIO-CHAN** (ignoring pig): Great, now I gotta go home for a bath.

Mario-Chan walks off, leaving the pig behind.

**PIG** (infuriated): Squeeeeee! (Throws switchblade at ground) Squeeee! (Sadly, sits down) Squee...

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
They're all in the same places.

**PEACH:** No, Mario's far too busy.  
**NANA:** Well, what about that guy you once told me about? The tuxedo guy who saved you once?

Peach's face gets a wistful expression.

**PEACH:** Ah, Tuxedo Mario... I'll never forget the way you swooped in and saved me, before taking me up in your arms and carrying me to the window, (clasps hands together) where under the moonlit sky you pledged to...

Nana COUGHS loudly, and Peach returns too normal.

**PEACH:** Oh, sorry, did I do it again?  
**SAMUS** (looking up from comic): Yes, and it was pathetic.  
**DAISY:** Oh, I don't know, I thought it was pretty cute.

Peach glares at Samus and Daisy.

**NANA:** Well, in any case, did he ever turn up again?  
**PEACH** (thoughtful): No, actually. He's never been back... I wonder where he is now...

**CUT TO:**

**REALLY MISTY PLACE - NIGHT**  
There is a LOT of mist here, hard to see further than a foot or two. TUXEDO KAMEN stands on the ground, facing what appears to be a large castle - specifically he looks up at a balcony, where there is a teenage girl's silhouette. The girl's identity is hidden, but she has an odd haircut that seems to consist of spaghetti and meatballs.

**GIRL:** Hurry! Hurry! Find the Ginzoushou!

TUXEDO KAMEN takes a step forward, reaching out an arm to her.

**KAMEN:** The Ginzoushou? What is it? Tell me where I can find it! And who are you?  
**GIRL:** Bring me the Ginzoushou... everything will be clear, if you have the Ginzoushou... please, bring the Plot Device to me...

Suddenly another GIRL jumps down from the balcony, and clutches hold of Kamen's entire arm, hanging on to it with her arms and legs. We can clearly see the girl is PEACHY-CHAN in a white dress. She doesn't act much like Peach though...

**PEACHY-CHAN** (shrill and annoying): MAAAMMMO-CHAAAAANNNN! I love you MAAAMMMO-CHAAAAANNNN! Please bring me the Ginzoushou, MAAAMMMO-CHAAAANNNN! I want to MARRY you, MAAAMMMO-CHAAAANNNN!

Kamen just looks at the girl latched on to his arm, stunned for a moment, before he panics and tries to shake her off. She clings on though.

**KAMEN:** Aggh! Help! Help, get it off, get it off and get it off! HELP!

There is a sudden flash of light and.

**CUT TO:**

**MAMORU CHIBA'S APARTMENT, JUBAAN WARD, TOKYO, JAPAN - NIGHT**  
Closeup view of MAMORU CHIBA'S face as he awakens from his nightmare, screaming. Mamoru is the civilian identity of Tuxedo Kamen.

**MAMORU:** HELLLP!

He eventually gets a grip of himself.

**MAMORU:** Oh not that dream again!

He gets up out of bed, and walks over to his apartment's balcony.

**CUT TO:**

**BALCONY**  
Mamoru leans on the balcony wall, and looks out over Tokyo. In the distance, GODZILLA is half-heartedly attacking, but nobody notices any more.

**MAMORU:** I've had that dream for as long as I can remember... but the second girl has only appeared since I came back from Mushroom Kingdom. Who is that insane Princess? I know that I have seen that face before somewhere... though I also feel that there is a warning about some terrible creature I shall meet in the far future. But where could I have seen her before?

Camera stays on Mamoru for a while as he watches the giant lizard. He comes to a decision.

**MAMORU:** I guess I'll just have to return to America. Maybe I'll find this Ginzoushou there...  
**LUIGITE** (OS) : I can't allow that, Tuxedo Kamen...

Before Mamoru can even turn around, LUIGITE runs up behind him and beats him over the head with a mallet. Mamoru crumples to the ground.

**LUIGITE** (girly giggle): Goodnight, my Prince...

**INT: PEACH'S ROOM - NIGHT**  
PEACH, SAMUS, NANA and DAISY are still here.

**PEACH:** For the time being however, we'll make do...  
**SAMUS:** Yeah, I don't see what the problem is anyway. We've been handling these...

LUNA bursts through the door, interrupting Samus.

**LUNA:** Quick, turn on your TV to Channel 6! There's something about us on!  
**PEACH:** Huh? What is it?

Peach finds her TV remote and turns a TV on her shelves on.

**CUT TO:**

**"EYE ON NINTENDO" TITLE SEQUENCE**  
the familiar title sequence, consisting of TOAD + BIKINI BABES plays.

**CUT TO:**

**EON STUDIO**  
TOAD is sat behind his desk.

**TOAD:** Tonight on Eye on Nintendo! We reveal the miracle diet that helped Queen B lose 110 pounds!

**CUT TO:**

**INTERVIEW**  
QUEEN B sits on a reinforced chair. She's still ungodly fat.

**QUEEN B**: Another three years of this and I can fit into a Beehive.

**CUT TO:**

**EON STUDIO**  
TOAD is still here...

**TOAD:** And I'll be visiting the set of the (mirth) hilarious and edgy new sitcom, "Sex Sex Sex"

**CUT TO:**

**SEX SEX SEX**  
A group of TWENTY-SOMETHINGS, of both the male and female varieties, sit around a table at a coffee shop.

**TWENTY-SOMETHINGS** (chorus): Sex sex sex explicit sex sex sex sex sordid sex sex sex sex...

A man sitting on the fringe of the group leans forward.

**MALE TWENTY-SOMETHING** (interrupting, whispers): Violence.

All the other twenty-something's recoiling in horror.

**CUT TO:**

**EON NEWSROOM**  
TOAD looks impressed.

**TOAD:** Whoo, pretty daring. But first, an opinion piece disguised as fact.

**CUT TO:**

**FIRST BANK - DAY**  
The bank is closed. Toad walks onscreen, speaking into a microphone.

**TOAD:** The First Bank of Springfield, normally Mushroom Kingdom's centre of business and first refuge for those seeking a modest loan...  
**PIANTA VOICE** (shout, OS): The interest rates at the Second Bank are lower!

Toad glares off-camera, and points. A security guard in a black suit walks in front of him and off-camera.

**PIANTA VOICE** (shout, OS): We also have a much better mortgage... ACK!

The sounds of a painful beating are heard. Toad continues.

**TOAD:** But the peaceful sound of money accumulating was ruined earlier today, as the bank was attacked and robbed by the so-called "Pretty Soldier," Sailor Moon.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Everyone gasps, Peach especially. Daisy, Luna, Samus and Nana look at Peach in shock. She looks at them.

**PEACH:** What? I didn't do it!

**CUT TO:**

**SECURITY CAMERA FOOTAGE – DAY**  
Fuzzy camera footage of a teller's booth where A TELLER is behind the glass, serving a CUSTOMER. CREEPY-MOON walks. She looks a bit shorter than Peach, and is mostly seen in shadow and silhouette.

**CREEPY-MOON**: Stop right there! (Poses) I am the pretty soldier (pose) of money and crime (pose) Sailor Moon! (Pose) In the name of the moon (pose) I'll take everything in the vault! (Pose, pose) And don't try anything funny; bulletproof glass can't stop the power of love!

The customer puts his hands up and the teller starts getting money.

**TOAD:** Sailor Moon was previously best known as the leader of the secretive "Sailor Soldiers" gang of juvenile vigilantes - a group that up until now has been fighting crime and destroying monsters.

**CUT TO:**

**FIRST BANK CONT**

**TOAD:** But today's events mark a dramatic turnaround for their intentions. What could drive Sailor Moon to this? I'm here with renowned child psychologist Prof. E. Gadd. Professor?

Camera moves back to show PROF. E. GADD standing next to Toad.

**E. GADD:** Thank you Toad. I must admit it took a while to figure out the answer, but I feel I have found how we can blame videogames for this.  
**TOAD** (annoyed): Videogames again, Professor? You do realize I used up the last of my material with the last games scare, don't you?  
**E. GADD:** I'm sorry Toad, but I think my theory will stand on it's own. You see, when children play these games, the aim of the vast majority of games is to single-handedly save the day - one man against an army, one general against a country, one spaceship against an alien fleet, and so on. And in most games, this is possible with either insignificant or no outside help.  
**TOAD:** I see.  
**E. GADD:** Naturally, this place the idea into the child's mind that THEY can make a difference, and it is for this reason that we have seen this recent rise in juvenile vigilante groups. Of course, the reality is that they are insignificant and have no chance of making a difference in their lifetime - once a child realizes this; their slide into disillusioned anti-socialism begins.  
**TOAD:** That's a rather pessimistic theory, isn't it?  
**E. GADD:** Well... I had a hard time forming it; my wife left me recently to go stalk Hideo Kojima and steal his shoes, using nothing more than a packet of cigarettes, a bottle of ketchup and a cardboard box.  
**TOAD:** Ah... well, we're getting off the subject here. Tell me Professor, what can be done to curb the tide of crime?  
**E. GADD:** Well, I understand that the First Bank is already taking matters into its own hands - it's lawyers are currently preparing a lawsuit against various game developers. I must also recommend that parents boycott and prevent their children playing game series where you need to save the world, such as Doom, Final Fantasy, Super Mario Brothers and (glowers) Metal Gear. (Leans forward into camera, yelling) ESPECIALLY THAT ONE!

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
The picture on the TV disappears, and camera moves back to show that Luna has (deliberately) stood on the remote. Peach is FUMING. Everyone else watches her carefully.

**NANA:** Uh, Peach...  
**PEACH:** How... how DARE they? I'm Sailor Moon, not that impostor!  
**SAMUS:** Peach...  
**PEACH:** I was at school all day today, not robbing banks!  
**DAISY:** Calm down Peach...  
**PEACH:** We have to transform and go find this impostor! (Grabs brooch) MOOON PRISIMU POWA...  
**LUNA:** Peach! NO! Stop her!

All 3 girls and Luna pounce on Peach, tackling her to the ground, and Daisy manages to pull Peach's brooch out of her hands.

**PEACH:** What? Why are you stopping me?  
**LUNA:** Don't get carried away... don't you think this might be a trap to lure you out?

Peach pauses.

**PEACH:** Well, it could be... (Hand on forehead) Geez, sorry girls... Yeah, I know, we can't rush into this.

They all get up off of Peach, and Daisy gives Peach her brooch back.

**LUNA:** Tomorrow is Saturday, so we'll spend the day looking for the impostor.

**EXT: CAFÉ IN MUSHROOM KINGDOM TENTH STREET SHOPPING DISTRICT - DAY**  
PEACH, NANA, SAUMU and DAISY sit around a table. There is a bag on the table, and LUNA hides inside it so people don't see a talking cat.  
Nana spreads out a map on the table.

**NANA:** Okay, here's the plan... We'll split into two groups. Peach, Luna and I shall head north from here and ask around. Samus and Daisy will head south.  
**LUNA:** Everyone okay with that? There's bound to be someone in the city centre who has some idea, or who has seen the impostor recently.

SAMUS shakes her head.

**SAMUS:** I don't like it. Luna should be in a group.  
**PEACH:** Why? She can't ask people anything she's a cat.  
N**ANA** (wagging finger, smug): Yes, but cats can go many places girls can't.  
**PEACH:** Of course...  
**LUNA** (impressed): Good idea Samus. We'll do that. Okay, let's go!

They split up, and head off to ask people.

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**  
Peach and Nana talk to TAKESHI

**TAKESHI:** No, I haven't seen Sailor Moon... though I would surely like to. School guidelines stipulate that a teacher must approve all extracurricular activities!

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**  
Daisy talks to the OWNER (Gnawty from Donkey Kong Country) of a grocery shop. Samus edges over to a crate of apples, and slips a few into her pocket. Suddenly, she's lifted up into the air - pull back to show that Daisy has grabbed her collar and picked her up. Samus grins sheepishly. Daisy clears her throat. Samus reaches into her pocket and pulls out the apples, putting them in the crate. Daisy clears her throat again. Samus reaches deeper into her pocket, and pulls out a purse that she hands to Daisy.

**DAISY:** Thank you.  
**SAMUS:** Can you put me down now?  
**DAISY:** I'm thinking about it...

**CUT TO:**

**KREMLINGS HIDEOUT**  
Luna sits on the bar, talking to a drunk KLUMP.

**LUNA:** So, have you seen Sailor Moon?  
**KLUMP:** Who me? I don't spend any time amongst sailors.  
**LUNA:** I'm not asking if you spend time, I'm just asking if you've seen...  
**KLUMP:** NO! I've not been seeing any sailors, and you can't prove it, no matter what Old Joel says!  
**LUNA:** But...  
**KING K. ROOL**: Hey, if you wanna interrogate my henchman, you gotta buy something or get out!  
**LUNA:** Oh? Sorry. I'll have a bowl of milk.

K. Rool pulls out a blunderbuss.

**K. ROOL**: That's not the answer I wanted to hear...  
**LUNA:** Eep!

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**  
Closeup of Peach and Nana are talking to General Guy.

**PEACH:** Excuse me; have you seen Sailor Moon around today?  
**GENERAL GUY:** No, but don't worry about that nasty Sailor Moon little girls - the Tank Force are here to protect you.

The view pulls out a little to show General Guy is standing in front of a somewhat chunky tank with the name "Bonaparte."

**PEACH:** Tank Force? What do you need tanks for?  
**GENERAL GUY:** Well, ever since things started getting weird around here, we've needed more firepower. Criminals today are a lot more dangerous.

Camera pulls out again. WIGGLER is lying under the tank's caterpillar tracks.

**WIGGLER**: Could you let me out from under here now? Your tank is heavy.  
**GENERAL GUY:** Not until I read you your rights, jaywalker. Hey Eddie, how we doing on the building front?

EDDIE THE SHYGUY sticks his head out of the tank.

**EDDIE**: Much better sir. We only destroyed 3 buildings chasing this guy.  
**GENERAL GUY:** Great! We're beating the Lovely Angel's record by a mile!

Whip pan over to MONA and PAULINE. They are wearing metal bikinis and carry heavy weaponry. Mona has a rocket launcher and about a dozen handguns; Pauline has some kind of combo-plasma gun/rail gun.

**MONA**: Hey! We don't destroy that many buildings, fatty!

As she talks she throws her rocket launcher on the ground in anger. The launcher goes off, and a rocket flies into the sky before hitting the side of an abandoned building. It crumbles into dust.

**MONA**: Oopsie.

**CUT TO:**

**THE COMIC BOOK SHOP** Daisy approaches the counter - MONTY MOLE is behind it.

**DAISY:** Excuse me; have you seen Sailor Moon?  
**MONTY**: Look, I've told you kids a thousand times. If it's not on the shelves or in a case, I don't have it. And that means that I am sold out of Sailor Moon's for the moment. The only thing I have left in the store is that limited edition Sailor V manga signed by Sailor V herself.  
**DAISY:** No, I didn't mean...

She doesn't finish. Samus runs into shot and into Daisy, knocking her out of shot. Samus turns to MONTY.

**SAMUS:** Limited edition Sailor V manga signed by Sailor V herself? How much?  
**MONTY**: 60 coins.  
**SAMUS:** I'll take it!

Samus hands over 60 coins and gets the book. She walks out of shot just as Daisy walks back in.

**DAISY:** Where did you get that kind of money? (Pats pockets) HEY! Where's my purse?

**CUT TO:**

**DOOR OF OLD LOOKING HOUSE**  
Luna sits on the steps, looking at a sign that reads "TONIGHT! SAILOR SOLDIER NIGHT!"

**LUNA:** Hm, this looks suspicious. I'd better check it out.

She opens the door, and enters.  
A brief pause, then a loud outraged "YEEEEOW!" from Luna. She comes running out of the door, chased by KING BOO and several SHOWGIRLS wearing flashy Sailor costumes. It's King Boo's mansion! Luna runs to the gate, and turns back to King Boo.

**LUNA:** You can look forward to a nice big lawsuit! (Turning and walking away, to self) Perverts.

**CUT TO:**

**CAFÉ**  
Peach and Nana sit at a table, drinking cola and having a rest.

**PEACH:** It's no good. There's no sign on her anywhere.  
**NANA:** Don't worry Peach. Someone's got to know something - it's only 4 PM.  
**PEACH:** Yeah... nothing happens in Mushroom Kingdom without some gossip getting out.

Peach looks around. There is a platform hanging from a building, as a WINDOW CLEANER (a Generic Toad) is washing the windows. Peach looks further up the street, and sees the silhouette of CREEPY-MOON walking along the top of a building. Peach gasps, and grabs Nana's hand.

**PEACH:** There she is! (Gets up, dragging Nana) Come on!  
**NANA:** Urk!

Close up of Creepy-Moon from behind. She laughs to herself, and draws out a blade, which she throws at the platform, cutting the ropes. The platform falls immediately, and people on the ground gasp as they see the window cleaner fall to the ground.

**CLEANER**: AAAAAAGH!

But at the last moment MOON-PEACH and MERC-NANA run in underneath him, and catch him in their arms. (Moon catches the body and Mercury gets the legs.) But they're not strong enough to hold him - first their arms shake, then their bodies shake, then their legs shake, then they all fall over.

**MOON-PEACH** (getting up): Ow... well, that could have worked better.  
**MERC-NANA:** Well, we saved him, didn't we?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Yeah.

Moon-Peach looks up at Creepy Moon, who is laughing to herself. Creepy Moon turns to walk away.

**MOON-PEACH** (glare): That maniac! (Gets up) Come on Sailor Mercury, we have to catch her!

Moon-Peach does that big-jump thing that the Sailors are so good at, jumping first to the top of a no-parking sign, then the top of a streetlamp, then to roof level.

**MERC-NANA:** Hey! Wait up, Sailor Moon!

Merc-Nana follows, hopping off of the WHOMP instead of the parking sign.

**CUT TO:**

**ROOFTOP CHASE**  
Creepy Moon runs away, followed about 50 feet behind by Moon Peach, and Merc Nana about 10 feet behind her. They all make a big jump whenever they come to a street - Creepy Moon almost seems to Teleport across, while Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana usually have to make several jumps to streetlamp level and off anything else at hand - billboards and trucks for example.

**MOON-PEACH** (shout): Come back here, you impostor!

Merc-Nana takes out her communicator.

**MERC-NANA** (to communicator): Luna! Daisy, Samus! We've found the impostor and are in pursuit!  
**LUNA** (filtered): What? Good work! Where is she headed to, we'll meet you there!

Merc-NANA looks ahead of her. A tall tower make entirely of Popsicle sticks rises on the skyline.

**MERC-NANA:** Oh, you have got to be kidding me... (To communicator) They're heading for the Popsicle Skyscraper!  
**LUNA:** Um... all right. We'll be right there!  
**MERC-NANA:** You'd better be quick; I don't think Sailor Moon is keeping calm about this impostor very well.

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF MOON-PEACH**  
It's true; she's (quite justifiably) fuming.

**MOON-PEACH:** Come back here, doppelganger!

**EXT: POPSICLE TOWER ENTRANCE - DAY**  
the tower is deserted apart from a few lost tourists taking pictures of it. The entire thing is made of giant Popsicle (Ice Lolly for British guys) sticks, each about 4 feet long and 4 inches wide. It leans over just a little bit in the wind, but its light and the wind just blows though the many gaps in the walls, so it hasn't fallen yet.

CREEPY MOON runs through the entrance – MOON-PEACH is about to follow, but...

**MARC-NANA** (OS, shout): Sailor Moon! Wait a second!

Moon-Peach turns and sees MERC-NANA running over to her. But Moon-peach keeps chasing.

**MOON-PEACH** (still angry): No time to stop! We'll catch this impostor if it's the last thing I do...

She crosses the threshold of the tower - as she does so, a solid metal wall appears over the door behind her.

**MOON-PEACH** (quiet): ...which it may well be. D'oh!

LUIGITE'S disembodied laugh is heard.

**LUIGITE** (OS): If you know what's good for you, come to the top floor, Sailor Moon. We have a hostage you might want to meet.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Oops... looks like I'm alone...

She tests the metal wall behind her, to check it's impossible. (It is)

**MOON-PEACH:** Sailor Mercury! Are you okay?

There is no answer. The sound of her voice is being blocked. Moon-Peach turns to the stairs and starts heading up, jumping up a flight at a time.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE TOWER**  
Merc-Nana leans against the metal wall.

**MERC-NANA:** Sailor Moon! Are you there? Hello? (No answer) Hmm.

She takes a step back from the wall, takes out her computer, and presses the button on her earring that lowers her visor. Then she starts to analyze the wall.

**MERC-NANA:** Fascinating...

**CUT TO:**

**POPSICLE TOWER, ROOF**  
The tower roof is a large open area, with large pillars at each corner. The sun is setting now. Moon-Peach emerges through a trap door. She looks around, and sees CREEPY MOON standing a few dozen feet away, still in silhouette and shadows.

**MOON-PEACH:** It's you! Done running for now?  
**CREEPY-MOON**: Yes... you've come right into our trap...

Creepy Moon pulls off the wig, revealing her (him) self to be LUIGITE! Moon-Peach goes into a completely horrified pose.

**MOON-PEACH:** Ack! How could anyone mistake YOU for ME? (Clears throat, composes self) Well... now that the impostor is revealed, (pose) I'm the original and only pretty suited soldier (pose) of love and justice, (pose) Sailor Moon! (Pose) In the name of the Moon, (pose) you're dead meat for ruining my reputation! (Pose, pose)

Luigite laughs to himself.

**LUIGITE:** No way fool.

He motions over to his left, and we see an unconscious MAMORU hanging from a cable by his wrists. The cable is attached to one of the pillars that overhang the roof. Luigite walks forward a few feet, and places 3 Rainbow gems on the ground. He then heads back to his starting place, so that the gems are midway between him and Moon-Peach.

**LUIGITE:** You've got 4 of the Rainbow Gems. We want them all. So leave yours in that pile and I'll let the hostage go without hurting him. Otherwise... (He draws a finger across his throat) he's dead.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE POPSICLE TOWER**  
Merc-Nana still stands about analyzing the metal wall. LUNA, MARS-SAMUS and JUP-DAISY run up to her.

**JUP-DAISY:** Mercury? What are you doing here? Where's Sailor Moon?  
**MERC-NANA:** She just ran into the tower about 15 minutes ago, and then this wall appeared before I could enter!  
**JUP-DAISY:** Hm...

Jup-Daisy walks over to the wall and off-camera to take a look - camera stays where it is.

**MERC-NANA** (cont): I've been trying to analyze the metal to find a possible way though, but it's completely unlike any substance known to humanity...

She is interrupted by the sound of cracking wood. Pan over to show Jup-Daisy kicking a hole in the brittle Popsicle sticks next to the door.

**JUP-DAISY:** Come on, we can get in this way.

She goes through, and Luna follows immediately. Mars-Samus turns to Merc-Nana.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Didn't you or Sailor Moon think of that? I thought you were meant to be the smart ones in the group.

**MERC-NANA** (embarrassed grin, hand goes behind head): I guess nobody's thinking straight. Heh.

**CUT TO:**

**POPSICLE TOWER ROOF**  
Moon-Peach looks at the pile of gems, than at Luigite, then at the still-unconscious Mamoru.

**MOON-PEACH** (thinking): There's no way I can give them our gems! But... I can't let them kill this guy... he looks kinda familiar as well. Hmm. there's nothing I can do.  
**MOON-PEACH** (spoken): Okay, I'll put them over here... (She walks over, put down her own Rainbow Gems, and then walks back to her previous place.) Now let him go!  
**LUIGITE:** Ha ha... no way, Sailor Faker!  
**MOON-PEACH:** I knew it!

She immediately dashes forward to get the gems, but WARIOITE teleports over them, and stretches out a hand. A bolt of Dark Energy hits the surprised Moon-Peach, sending her flying back several feet.

**WARIOITE:** Stupid girl... aaah...

He stoops down, and picks up the Gems.

**WARIOITE:** Luigite... (Walks over and puts an arm around Luigite's waist) Finally, we've succeeded, my dear. Queen Beryl will be very happy.  
**LUIGITE** (looking into his eyes): Yes, and we did it together!  
**WARIOITE:** Yes, we did my love...

They lean together, going in for a kiss... Peach goes into the same "disgusted" pose she was in earlier.

**MOON-PEACH:** Eyah!

Before they kiss, Warioite glares at Moon-Peach.

**WARIOITE:** Do you have a problem with our love?  
**MOON-PEACH** (to Warioite): Huh? No, no, I'm as permissive as anyone about this kind of thing... (Frank) I just think you could do a lot better than (looks at Luigite) this guy is all.  
**WARIOITE:** This... guy...?

Warioite looks closely at Luigite. He then hops backward and goes into the same disgusted pose that Moon-Peach has been using.

**WARIOITE:** Eyah! You Transvestite, I thought you were a chick!  
**LUIGITE** (ever so slightly devastated): Does this mean you won't be coming with me to the Dark Kingdom victory ball like you said you would? I had a dress picked out and everything...

Warioite turns red, and freezes up.

**WARIOITE:** Um... excuse me... (Cheerily manic) hey! We have intruders at the bottom of the tower! I'll go check them out! You stay here and kill Sailor Moon, Luigite!

Warioite teleports away before Luigite can respond.

**LUIGITE:** huh? But, we...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Huh? I wonder what that was about.  
**LUIGITE** (glare): You! You ruined my date with Warioite! For that I can't forgive you! (Pose) I'm the pretty suited General (pose) of backstabbing and bitchiness, (pose) Luigite! (Pose) In the name of the Dark Kingdom, (pose) I'm gonna beat the pasta out of you! (Pose, pose)  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hey! Take that sailor uniform off and stop copying me!  
**LUIGITE:** Take this!

Luigite's hand glows as he winds up, and throws a bunch of icicles at Moon-Peach. She jumps out the way.

**MOON-PEACH:** Waagh!

**CUT TO:**

**POPSICLE TOWER 76th FLOOR**  
Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy and Luna arrive on this floor via the stairs. No more steps head up from their stairwell.

**LUNA:** No more steps here... we'll have to find another way up.  
**MARS-SAMUS** (whining): But why can't we take the elevator Luna?  
**MERC-NANA:** This tower is made of popsicle sticks. Ever see a Popsicle stick that could make a motor to lift an elevator?  
**MARS-SAMUS** (sulky): no, but...  
**LUNA:** Sssh, quiet! Do you want them to find us?

They proceed across the floor, which is a large open room here.

**WARIOITE:** Stupid girls - I've already found you.

They all gasp as Warioite appears before them, and a black dome forms around all 3 girls and Luna.

**WARIOITE:** I've just gone through a painful breakup with my... (Annoyed) _girl_friend so I've decided to go for a long and painful death tonight. This forcefield will get smaller and smaller until you all die.

Jup-Daisy pushes against the forcefield, but can't get through. She gives it a kick.

**JUP-DAISY:** It's like solid rock!  
**MERC-NANA:** So we're trapped. (Gets out computer and starts pressing buttons)  
**WARIOITE:** It's hopeless. My forcefield is impenetrable.  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Yeah, so you say! But I'm sure Sailor Mercury can find a way through! Right, Mercury?  
**MERC-NANA** (still pressing buttons): Um... no, actually. The computer and I have no idea how to get though.  
**LUNA:** What? So what are you doing?  
**MERC-NANA:** Getting in one more game of Donkey Kong before I die.  
**JUP-DAISY:** What? Are you crazy? Get back to work!

**MUSIC**: "Death Music" from Donkey Kong

**MERC-NANA:** Nuts. Just one more go...

Jup-Daisy snatches the computer away from her.

**MERC-NANA:** Awww...

**CUT TO:**

**TOWER ROOF**  
A wind is starting to blow, and with it the Popsicle tower is swaying slightly. Luigite has created a sword made of ice and is attacking Moon-Peach with it, while throwing more of the magic icicles as well - Moon-Peach doesn't have a good weapon to use against it, so she's forced to run away.

**LUIGITE:** Come back here, homewrecker!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Not... not fair! I need a weapon too!

She dodges Luigite's attacks, trying to get far enough away to use her tiara. Suddenly the tower sways erratically, and Moon-Peach loses her footing.

**MOON-PEACH:** Eyah!

She falls down on her back, and Luigite poses over her, with the sword at Moon-Peach's throat.

**LUIGITE:** Ha, you're not so tough! I dunno how all those stupid, stupid youma's managed to lose to you!

Moon-Peach just gulps to herself.

**LUIGITE:** Get ready to die, Sailor Moon!

He raises the sword - as he does so, a red streak speeds past his face, cutting a gash in it. Show the floorboards - a red rose is embedded in them. Luigite's cheek has been cut.

**LUIGITE:** Who...  
**MAMORU** (OS): Stay away from the girl. Why don't you fight me?

Whip-pan over to MAMORU - he is now conscious and hanging from the rope by one hand. His free hand reaches into the jacket he's wearing, and he draws out another rose. Moon-Peach's eyes bulge out of LOVE.

**MOON-PEACH:** It can't be!

Mamoru drops to the ground, and goes into his transformation sequence - something to do with holding a rose and throwing a hat. Everyone is relieved that it features no naked glowing spinning. He turns into TUXEDO KAMEN! Moon-Peach runs over to him, stars in her eyes.

**MOON-PEACH:** Tuxedo Mario!  
**KAMEN** (slightly annoyed): It's Tuxedo Kamen! Kamen! It means Mask! Kamen means Mask!  
**MOON-PEACH** (slightly disappointed but still super-happy): Tuxedo Kamen!  
**KAMEN** (heroic): You're a brave fighter, Sailor Moon, (holds his cane up, steps in front of Moon-Peach) but a duel should be a fair fight fought with equal weapons! As long as I am awake, untied, unhypnotised and can be bothered I shall protect you!

Luigite concentrates, and an icicle materialize behind Moon-Peach and Tuxedo Kamen. It aims at Moon-Peach.  
**LUIGITE** (laugh) you want to die for her? Well, I can allow that...

The icicle shoots toward Moon-Peach's back. Kamen spots it at the last moment and.

**FLASH OF RED**

Moon-Peach turns in slow motion, and sees Kamen fall to the ground, the icicle in his chest. She's in shock.

**LUIGITE:** Hmph. I didn't like him anyway. Never liked people who lecture.

**CUT TO:**

**76th FLOOR**  
Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy and Luna are still stuck in the forcefield. It's considerably smaller now - Jup-Daisy has to stoop to avoid banging her head.

**MERC-NANA:** SHABON SPRAYY!

Merc-Nana POSES, Twists a little and POSES again as she throws out lots of little bubbles at the forcefield. The water bounces off the forcefield and back at the girls, soaking them.

**JUP-DAISY** (dryly): Well, anyone got any better ideas?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Let me try! FIRE... SOU.

Before she is finished, Merc-Nana, Jup-Daisy and Luna pounce on her.

**MERC-NANA:** No!  
**LUNA:** Do you want to incinerate us?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Oops... sorry...  
**JUP-DAISY:** Hm, I guess that means I can't use my power either... I know!

She kneels on the floor and punches 3 times, smashing the Popsicle sticks and making a hole.

**JUP-DAISY:** This way!

She drops down the hole, but finds herself landing on the bottom half of the forcefield. A pool of water is here at the bottom of the field - the water Mercury's magic created has drained to here.

**WARIOITE:** I know I'm not that smart, but I did put a bottom on my trap!  
**JUP-DAISY:** D'oh!

The field is getting smaller still. Daisy climbs back up to the other's level.

**JUP-DAISY:** We're screwed.

**CUT TO:**

**ROOF LEVEL**  
Moon-Peach runs over to Kamen.

**MOON-PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen!

But he's already unconscious.

**MOON-PEACH:** Please wake up, Tuxedo Kamen!

A tear runs down her cheek. It starts to glow brilliantly.

**CUT TO:**

**76th FLOOR**  
Warioite stands near the forcefield - it's now only a few feet across, and the 3 girls and a cat in it are huddled together. The water is now up to their waists (they're sitting currently) Jup-Daisy is using Mercury's computer.

**LUNA:** This can't be it... this can't be the end...  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Can I get the computer soon Sailor Jupiter? I want that last game of Minesweeper.  
**JUP-DAISY:** Hang on, I'm having my one last game of Mario Bros...  
**LUNA** (angry): How can you be taking this so lightly?  
**MERC-NANA:** We've tried everything, Luna... we have nothing left, unless Sailor Moon can save us...  
**WARIOITE** (taunting): and she won't - she is dead now, thanks to Luigite (reaches out a palm - the rainbow gems are on it) you see? We have all her gems! The Dark Kingdom wins! (Laughs)  
**MERC-NANA** (crying): Then this really must be the end... at least we'll asphyxiate before we're crushed...

But suddenly, the gems lift off from Luigite's hand, and fly upward through the cracks in the ceiling!

**WARIOITE:** What the? No!  
**FEMALE VOICE** (OS): CRESCENTO BEAM!

A streak of gold flies into Warioite which taking him completely by surprise and smashing him through the wall behind him and outside. The forcefield disappears immediately - Jup-Daisy, Merc-Nana and Mars-Samus look around in surprise, while Luna looks directly at the source of the voice.

**MALE VOICE** (OS): Sorry we're so late. It took a long time for us to find the right Kingdpm.

Show the two figures - one (the male voice) is a cat like Luna, with a yellow Crescent Moon mark on its forehead, and white fur. (ARTEMIS - who is male in spite of his name) The other is a girl in an orange-skirted sailor uniform, with a blue bow on the front and a yellow on the back. Her hair is long and brown. She wears a large mask that covers her eyes. Mars-Samus recognizes her.

**MARS-SAMUS:** From my manga... and the news reports! It's Sailor V!  
**GIRL:** Iya da. (Dramatically removing mask) Atashi wa Seeraa Viinasu wa yo!  
**ARTEMIS** (aside, to Venus): in English, like we practiced...  
**GIRL** (apologetic): Oh! Gomen ne... (Puts mask back on) No. I am not Sailor V... (Dramatically removing mask) I am Sailor Venus!  
**JUP-DAISY:** Sailor Venus...  
**LUNA:** Artemis! I never thought I'd be glad to see you!  
**ARTEMIS** (happy): Thank you Luna. (Realization) Hey...  
**VENUS** (interrupting, concerned): Seeraamuun, doko no ka?  
**LUNA** (looking up): If my hunch is correct... the top floor...

**CUT TO:**

**TOP FLOOR**  
Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy, Venus, Luna and Artemis arrive through the trapdoor. They see Moon-Peach kneeling by Kamen's body.

**LUNA:** Sailor Moon!

The 7 rainbow crystals appear, and hover around Moon-Peach's head. She watches them, as they come together and form with her tear to make the Ginzoushou!

**LUNA:** It's the Ginzoushou!  
**ARTEMIS:** Yes, there's our plot device!  
**LUIGITE:** The Ginzoushou?

The other sailors can just gasp at it. The Moon Wand spins in mid-air, and the Ginzoushou places itself just at the bottom of the crescent, at the top of the handle.  
Moon-Peach watches it, and quietly stands and takes the handle of the wand.

**MERC-NANA:** Sailor Moon!

Moon-Peach looks blankly at the wand in her hands for several seconds.

**LUNA** (thinking): Why am I holding my breath?

Eventually Moon-Peach looks up.

**MOON-PEACH:** The Ginzoushou... (Glares at Luigite) You...  
**LUIGITE** (panicking): uh... what? What?  
**MOON-PEACH:** You backstabber, you killed Tuxedo Kamen!  
**LUIGITE:** Hmph, he's not quite dead yet, can't you tell? I wouldn't kill someone so valuable to our queen...  
**MOON-PEACH:** What? Well, I won't let you have him!

She raises the moon wand over her head.

**LUIGITE** (cowers): No, don't use it!

Moon-Peach thrusts the wand out, pointing it straight at Luigite.

**MOON-PEACH:** Take this!

Nothing happens. She gives the wand a shake.

**MOON-PEACH:** take... this?

Luigite laughs to himself.

**LUIGITE** (smirk): You seem to be having some problems with your attack... are you sure you can use that crystal?

Moon-Peach shakes the crystal again.

**LUNA:** She can't use it?  
**LUIGITE:** Well, this is cool...

Luigite waves a hand - 3 large shards of ice appear, pointed directly at Moon-Peach. He advances on her, holding the sword out.

**LUIGITE:** If you won't be using that crystal, then give it to me. And do it now.

She instinctively steps back away from him, and manages to get a foot stuck in one of the holes between Popsicle sticks. Moon-Peach falls backward onto her butt.

**LUIGITE:** Even with your friends backing you up, this wouldn't be a fair fight for you.

**MOON-PEACH:** A fair fight?

She looks at Kamen's body, and sees his cane.

**MOON-PEACH** (thinking): Yes, a fair fight... with equal weapons!  
**LUIGITE:** What's the delay! Give me that crystal!

He tries to slash down at her, but she grabs the cane, and blocks his slash.

**LUIGITE:** huh?

Luigite shoots his icicles at her.

**LUNA:** Sailor Moon? What are you thinking? QUICK! COVER HER!

The other sailors quickly rattle off their attacks.

**MERC-NANA:** SHABON SPRAYY!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** FIRE SOUL!  
**JUP-DAISY:** SUPREIM THUNDA!  
**VENUS:** CRESCENTO BEAM!

A stream of bubbles breaks one icicle, fire melts the next, electricity melts another, and a crescent hits Luigite. Moon-Peach gets up as he reels from the blow, and takes the initiative, attacking Luigite with the cane. They start swordfighting - Kamen's cane is designed for swordplay, and Moon-Peach is surprisingly good with it. She doesn't have as much skill as Luigite, but Moon-Peach presses her advantage of surprise, and manages to knock a harried Luigite back to the edge of the tower.

**LUIGITE:** D' don't come closer! You'll regret it!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Okay! MOOON TIARRA ACSHUN!

She throws the tiara.

**LUIGITE:** No!

The tiara smacks Luigite in the forehead. He falls backward, and off the wall... and off the tower. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... (Thump) (Player Down music from Super Mario World plays)

Moon-Peach looks at the spot where he was standing for a while, and exhausted emotionally and physically, faints.  
All the other sailors and cats run over to her.

**MERC-NANA:** Sailor Moon! Are you okay?  
**MARS-SAMUS** (first to reach her): She's unconscious... I think she's just sleeping.

**WARIOITE** (OS): She put a lot of her energy into trying to use that crystal, but can't.

Everyone looks over to see Warioite standing by Kamen's body.

**WARIOITE:** If there is anything good about losing Luigite, at least we know that none of the Sailor Soldiers can use the Ginzoushou... we can take it from you when we want. (Thoughtful) And I guess there's an extra bonus that nobody else at the Kingdom knew about him being a guy, which gets me off the hook...

**MARS-SAMUS:** What?  
**JUP-DAISY:** That's horrible! Every time I meet you Dark Kingdom creeps, you get worse and worse.  
**MERC-NANA:** How can you be so callous?  
**WARIOITE:**'s easy! (He starts to fade away, as does Tuxedo Kamen's body) Self-promotion and ambition above all else, at all costs! (Laughs)

They disappear.

**LUNA:** He's gone!  
**JUP-DAISY:** And he's taken the Tuxedo guy with him!  
**WARIOITE** (OS): And one last thing... that crystal would survive a fire and a fall, but you won't.

**CUT TO:**

**LONG SHOT OF THE POPSICLE TOWER**  
Long shot of the entire tower from far away. A fire breaks out in the middle, and rapidly spreads up and down the dry wood.

**CUT TO:**

**ROOF**  
Everyone looks down the side of the tower.

**ARTEMIS:** We're on fire!  
**MERC-NANA:** There's no chance of the tower lasting more than a few minutes! We need a fast way down and now!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** A fast way down? Well... a little more fire won't hurt now...

She walks away from the others toward the centre of the floor, clasps her hands together with the fingers pointing out, and points directly down.

**MARS-SAMUS:** FIRE... SOUL!

A fireball shoots from her fingertips, and she quickly jumps away as the ball hits the ground beneath her, creating a large hole. Follow the fireball down as it smashes through floor after floor, eventually creating a deep hole in the tower's concrete base. Back to roof level, Merc-Nana looks down.

**MERC-NANA:** I think I know what your idea is... SHABON SPRAYY!

She shoots water down the hole, putting out some fires on the way down and filling the hole at the base.

**LUNA:** Kind of risky, Sailor Mars, but it's our only shot.  
**MARS-SAMUS:** I'll go down first to check.  
**JUP-DAISY** (picks up Moon-Peach and puts her over shoulder): Okay... good luck.

Mars-Samus jumps down the hole. Show her speeding down the 80 floors and eventually landing in the water at the bottom. She surfaces, and shouts back up.

**MARS-SAMUS:** It's good! The water's fine!

She gets out, and after a moment Jup-Daisy falls down, carrying Moon-Peach. Merc-Nana carrying Luna, and Venus carrying Artemis follow her. They all flee the tower.

**EXT: HILLTOP ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF MUSHROOM KINGDOM**  
All five soldiers and two cats are here - MOON-PEACH sits against a tree, still unconscious. MERC-NANA and MARS-SAMUS attend her, with advice and nagging from LUNA and ARTEMIS. JUP-DAISY and VENUS keep guard.

Moon-Peach eventually rouses and immediately turns back to PEACH.

**PEACH:** Uh... where am I?  
**LUNA:** Don't worry Peach... we're safe.  
**ARTEMIS:** The rest of you can turn back.

Merc, Mars, Jup and Venus turn back to civilian clothes. (NANA, SAMUS, DAISY and a GIRL)

**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen! Where is he?  
**NANA:** We don't know.  
**SAMUS:** After you beat Luigite, Warioite...

Daisy hits Samus lightly on the back of the head.

**DAISY** (continuing from Samus): ...left. He left.  
**SAMUS** (whisper to Daisy): What was that for?  
**DAISY** (whisper back): Do you want her to worry to death? We'll tell her about tux-boy later!  
**NANA:** When we checked on Tuxedo Kamen, he was gone. I'm sure he'll be okay.

Peach seems too tired to worry. She looks at the GIRL.

**PEACH:** And who are you? I don't recognize you, sorry...  
**DAISY:** Yeah, what's your name?  
**GIRL**: Ah... my name is Princess Zelda; I am from the kingdom of Hyrule. (Bow) It is nice to meet you at last, Sailor Senshi. I am Sailor Venus, also called Sailor V.  
**PEACH/NANA/SAMUS/DAISY:** Hi.  
**PEACH** (a little depressed): We have the Ginzoushou... Are you the princess, Zelda?  
**ZELDA** (puzzled): I... don't know. I thought one of you might be.

LUNA looks worried.

**LUNA:** This isn't a good sign...

**CUT TO:**

**DARK KINGDOM THRONE ROOM**  
WARIOITE kneels in front of BERYL's throne. TUXEDO KAMEN's body lies at the foot of the steps to her throne.

**WARIOITE:** Why did you call me back, Queen Beryl? I could have killed them and taken the Ginzoushou.  
**BERYL:** It was too risky... and with Luigite gone, we need Prince Endymion here...

She stands, and walks over to Kamen's body.

**BERYL:** Do you remember me, Endymion? The queen you betrayed to side with the Moon Kingdom?

She touches his face. He seems to be having a nightmare.

**BERYL:** Soon, the Dark Kingdom and I shall be all you remember.

THE END?


	6. Episode 6

**INT: PEACH'S ROOM** **- DAY**  
PEACH is sleeping in her bed. Close-up of her face - she tosses and turns, mumbling in her sleep.

**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen... sorry...  
**TOADSWORTH** (OS): Are you awake Peach? Did you say something?

Peach's eyes open.

**PEACH** (tired): Huh? Oh... hi Toasworth?  
**TOADSWORTH:** Oh, sorry Peach, did I wake you? You were talking...  
**PEACH** (sigh): No, it's okay Toadsworth...

Toadsworth puts a hand to Peach's forehead.

**TOADSWORTH:** It's strange that you don't have a fever. I wonder what could have made you ill like this.

**PEACH** (voiceover): It took me a few days or so to recover from trying to use the Ginzoushou. I stayed in bed most of the time - too much time to think about that Saturday's events.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 6: A rude awakening! The ghosts of the Moon appear...

By Matthew O'Connell

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM** **- LATER**  
Peach is still in bed, but she's sitting up. She talks to LUNA, but they are muted. Peach is a little upset.

**PEACH** (voiceover): Luna told me what really happened to Tuxedo Kamen... she said I wasn't to blame, but... I feel like I am.

**LUNA** (onscreen): Don't worry Peach; once we find the Princess, and we will soon, we'll be able to get him back. Now we have the Ginzoushou - the Princess can't be far behind.

**PEACH** (voiceover): Of course, everyone tried his or her best to cheer me up.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM** **- LATER**  
Peach's still in bed, Luna sitting on her bedside table. Her door opens and SAMUS, NANA, DAISY, ZELDA and ARTEMIS run in. Samus and Nana head to either side of her bed, Daisy comes to the bed at Samus's side, and Zelda hangs back a little on Nana's side.

**NANA:** I told Ms Hamasaki that you weren't well, Peach... she gave me your homework, and I took extra notes on what we did today for you. (Hands Peach a sheat of paper) You know we can't take second grade too lightly!  
**DAISY:** We microwaved some cakes in Home Ec. today... here, you can have the ones I made. (Gives Peach a box of cakes)  
**SAMUS** (slightly reluctant): Here, I thought you might need something to keep you occupied, so you can borrow my limited edition Sailor V manga signed by Sailor V herself. (Hands it over) But DON'T get any crumbs on it, spill anything on it, fold the pages or wreck the spine, okay?  
**PEACH:** Okay, okay! Thank you Samus!

She opens the manga at the first (last) page, and looks at the speech-bubbles. They're in Japanese script!

**PEACH:** Hey, this is in Japanese! I can't read it.  
**SAMUS** (sad): I know... I've just looked at the pictures.  
**ZELDA:** If you want, I could translate and read what it says to you.  
**PEACH:** Would you? That would be great, Zelda.  
**ZELDA** (flattered): It's no problem, Peach.

Zelda takes the manga from Peach, and looks at the signature on the front page.

**ZELDA:** That's funny... I don't remember signing any manga. I wonder who did this.  
**SAMUS:** What? I paid 60 coins...  
**DAISY** (interrupting): Of my money!  
**SAMUS** (cont): ... of her money for that manga! If I find out who forged that signature, I'll punish them in the name of collectors everywhere!

In the background, a sweatdrop appears over Artemis' head, and he cowers slightly.

**PEACH **(voiceover)**:** Zelda had her first day of school in the Mushroom Kingdom that day...

**CUT TO:**

**EIGHTH GRADE CLASSROOM, EARLIER**  
Zelda stands in front of a CLASS. Daisy sits among the class, shifting about in her seat and trying to wave at Zelda.

**SENSEI (LUCARIO)**: Well, we have a new student joining us today... (Looks closely at slip of paper) Princess Zelda, an exchange student from Hyrule. Everyone say hello...  
**CLASS** (bored): Hello Zelda...  
**ZELDA** (perturbed): ah... anou...  
**SENSEI**: Please take a seat, Zelda, I need to get started.

He walks over to the board and starts writing.

**ZELDA:** But my name is different...

The sensei ignores her.

**ZELDA** (under breath): Kono senko wa baka yo...

She stomps over to a desk next to Daisy.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM** **AGAIN**  
Zelda sits down at Peach's bed, and opens the manga. She scans the first few pages.

**ZELDA** (angry): Hey! In this manga, Sailor V acts like a ditz! (Stands up) How could anyone dare to publish this slander of me? If I ever find who wrote this, I'll punish him in the name of Venus!

In the background, another sweatdrop appears over Artemis' head, and he quietly slinks away.  
Peach opens the cake box.

**ZELDA:** And what's worse is... (See cakes). Can I have one of your cakes please Peach?  
**PEACH:** Uh, sure.  
**ZELDA:** Great! (Eats cake) What were we talking about again?

Everyone groans.

**LUNA** (groaning): Sometimes comics can be too much like real life...

**CUT TO:**

**GOOD E MART - LATER**  
Same shot as before, from behind Hammer Bro's counter. Luna enters and runs straight for the Kart Fighter machine.

**CUT TO:**

**KART FIGHTER MACHINE**  
She jumps up to the controls, and quickly hammers in the code.

**CONTROL** (male, filtered): Password accepted. Welcome, Luna. Whaaassup

**LUNA** (worried): We're in big trouble. All five soldiers are here and we have the Ginzoushou, but the princess still hasn't turned up! I was so sure she'd be among the Sailor Soldiers too!  
**CONTROL:** Okay, Luna. First things first, don't panic.  
**LUNA** (screams): I'M NOT PANICING!

Sudden silence. Everyone in the shop turns to look at Luna. Someone drops a shopping basket. Luna grins, embarrassed.

**LUNA:** Meow?

The shoppers shrug their shoulders and go back to their business.

**LUNA:** Phew, that was close.  
**CONTROL:** You're telling me. That blonde woman almost broke her eggs.  
**LUNA:** She did? Oh... hey. (Quietly to self) This communication is voice only. How did he know about her?

Luna looks around the store, and spots a passport photo booth with the curtain drawn, but no feet sticking out the bottom.

**LUNA:** hm?

She jumps down from the game machine, and starts walking over to it.

**CONTROL:** Uh, where are you going Luna? (She continues) Uh, pay no attention to the cat behind the curtain!

Luna bites the hem of the curtain, and pulls it open. ARTEMIS sits on the stool, wearing a radio headset.

**ARTEMIS:** uh oh... D'oh!  
**LUNA:** Artemis? You're central control?  
**ARTEMIS:** Uh, sorta...  
**LUNA:** I've been taking orders from YOU all this time?  
**ARTEMIS:** Uh, kinda...  
**LUNA:** What about that 500 coins Control said it was my "duty" to send to DK Island?  
**ARTEMIS:** Zelda and I got on the wrong plane, we really needed the airfare, honest!  
**LUNA** (angry): Artemis...!  
**ARTEMIS:** Yeek!

Luna pounces at Artemis. Pan away from the fight.

**ARTEMIS:** Agh, help!

The shoppers ignore him. Cats can't talk, after all.

**PEACH** (voiceover): Naturally this meant Control was no using any more... Artemis had no more idea where the Princess was than we did. All we could do was hope she'd turn up. But from that point on the Dark Kingdom was coming after us personally, trying to get the Ginzoushou from us.

**CUT TO:**

**MUSHROOM KINGDOM MAIN** **STREET**  
A youma is running riot here. It appears to be Hairdresser based; it's most notable feature being the gigantic electric shaver that's attached to its left arm. It runs about gleefully trying to attack citizens.  
PEACH, DAISY, NANA, SAMUS, DAISY, LUNA and ARTEMIS hide behind a ruined wall.

**PEACH:** We have to get out and do something!  
**LUNA:** She's right. Everyone, transform now!  
**ZELDA:** All right! (Holds pen) VENUSU POWA, MAKE UP!

**CUT TO:**

**VENUS TRANSFORMATION SCENE**  
The background is a black and gold starfield. We get a close-up of Zelda's hand holding the pen, before the Venus symbol on the top of the pen starts to spin and flies toward the screen.  
Shots of Zelda - spinning, glowing and naked as She SPINS and WAVES the pen around her - the top of the pen leaves a trail of stars where it goes. She then POSES, holding the pen over her head. A ribbon of stars twirls down around her, becoming a pool of gold light at her feet. The pool then explodes into a shower of stars that obscures her completely.  
Now she's dressed as VENUS. Camera moves up from her feet to her head as she SPINS. Brief close-up of her face before pulling back to show all of her then POSE.

(Note: for consistency's sake and to aid the Nintendo fans, she'll be referred to as VENUS-ZELDA from now on.)

**CUT TO:**

**BEHIND THE RUBBLE**  
VENUS-ZELDA is still posing. Peach, Nana, Samus and Daisy are gaping at her. She sees the look on their faces.

**VENUS-ZELDA:** What? What's wrong with you? All I did was henshin...  
**PEACH:** its n'nothing... um... okay, lets do it! MOOON PRISIMU POWA!  
**NANA:** MURCURI POWA!  
**SAMUS:** MARSU POWA!  
**DAISY:** JUPITA POWA!  
**PEACH/NANA/SAMUS/DAISY:** MAKE UP!

They go though their respective transformation sequences. (swish-swish-swish/water/fire/electrocuted) Now it's Venus-Zelda's jaw's turn to drop. She looks down at herself, and clenches her fists.

**VENUS-ZELDA** (enraged): ARTEMIS!

Show Luna, who looks at where Artemis had been sitting, He's already gone, with just a few strands of fur left floating to the ground.

**LUNA:** Wow. He's getting faster.

**CUT TO:**

**THE STREET**  
MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA, MARS-SAMUS, JUP-DAISY and VENUS-ZELDA jump into the middle of the road, right in the youma's path. Moon-Peach looks thoughtful for a moment, and scratches her head.

**MOON-PEACH:** Now, what was it... hm...? (To youma) Youma! Aii to seiki no! Seira fuuku no biishoojou sennji...Seiramyuun! Suki ni...ni...ni neimu...ochi ooki o!! (Turns to Venus-Zelda) How was that, Sailor Venus?  
**VENUS-ZELDA** (kind): Ah, it could use a little bit more practice...

**CUT TO:**

**THE WALL**  
Artemis and Luna watch the scene.

**ARTEMIS:** And I thought teaching English to Japanese kids was hard...

**CUT TO:**

**THE STREET**  
All the soldiers except Moon-Peach use their attacks simultaneously.

**MERC-NANA:** SHABON SPRAYY!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** FIRE SOUL!  
**JUP-DAISY:** SUPREIM THUNDA!  
**VENUS-ZELDA:** CRESCENTO BEAM!

The youma is zapped from 4 directions. It stands there, stunned.

**YOUMA**: Not fair... it was only supposed to be Moon and Venus in this episode...  
**MOON-PEACH:** Hey, stop using meta-references! Those fourth walls are expensive!

**CUT TO:**

**REPETITIVE MOON WAND ATTACK**  
Closeup of Moon-Peach's hand - she spins the Moon Wand in it, and then lowers it to POSE with it in front of her face. Then she sticks out the wand, and SPIN SPIN SPIN WAVE WAVE WAVE POSE.

**MOON-PEACH:** MOOON HEALINGGU ESCALATION!

**CUT TO:**

**STREET**  
The youma sticks its arms and legs out in an X shape and glows brightly for a few seconds.

**YOUMA**: Refresh!

**PEACH** (voiceover): Things continued in this very silly manner for a while...

**CUT TO:**

**EIGHTH GRADE CLASSROOM - ANOTHER DAY**  
Class is in session, DAISY and ZELDA sit next to each other. All of the CLASS look up as the PRINCIPAL'S VOICE comes over the PA system.

**PRINCIPAL (BLAZIKEN)** (OS): I have a small announcement to make... students are not to leave the school grounds for the time being, a blue skinned woman wearing oysters is turning people into wax statues. Thank you.

Daisy and Zelda lean toward each other across the aisle.

**DAISY:** This sounds like a job for the Sailor Soldiers!  
**ZELDA:** Yes, it does!

They nod at each other, and sneak out of class.

**CUT TO:**

**SECOND GRADE CLASSROOM - ANOTHER DAY**  
Class is in session, PEACH and NANA sit next to each other. All of the CLASS look up as PRINCIPAL TAKESHI'S VOICE comes over the PA system.

**TAKESHI** (OS): I have a small announcement to make... students are not to leave the school grounds for the time being, a monster has possessed my mother and turned her into a murderous wrinkle-demon that is stealing youth.  
**MS HAMASAKI:** Sounds like an improvement.

Peach and Nana lean toward each other across the aisle between the desks.

**PEACH:** This sounds like a job for the Sailor Soldiers!  
**NANA:** Yes, it does!  
**TAKESHI** (OS): Dang right it is! Mommy! HELP!

So Peach and Nana nod at each other and sneak out of class.

**CUT TO:**

**FOURTH GRADE CLASSROOM - ANOTHER DAY**  
Class is in session, the usual suspects are here. All of the CLASS look up as PRINCIPAL TAKESHI'S VOICE comes over the PA system.

**TAKESHI** (OS): I have a small announcement to make... students are not to leave the school grounds for the time being, a 50-storey high biomechanical monster is besieging the city.  
**SAMUS** (to self): This sounds like a job for the Sailor Sold... oh wait, it's not. (Turns to LUIGI) This is one of your ones.  
**LUIGI:** What? Aw nuts... but I hate Eva's, fighting, NERVOUS, my Brother, bitch bitch bitch whine whine whine...  
**SENSEI UCHIHA**: Just nod and sneak out already Mr Luigi!

**PEACH** (voiceover): And so it continued until one fateful day...

**EXT: STREET - DAY**  
its early morning, still a little dark. MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA, MARS-SAMUS, JUP-DAISY, VENUS-ZELDA, LUNA and ARTEMIS walk down the street. Merc-Nana has her visor down and is working on her computer.

**MARS-SAMUS:** So where is this portal to the Dark Kingdom meant to be?  
**MERC-NANA:** I'm trying to track it right now...

She presses a few buttons, and the computer makes a loud BEEPING sound. Merc-Nana points down the street.

**MERC-NANA:** That way!

**CUT TO:**

**GOOD-E-MART CAR** **PARK**  
HAMMER BRO comes out of the back door carrying a sack of garbage, and chucks it in the dumpster. There is a flash of black light and a spooky wail. He doesn't look that fazed.

**HAMMER BRO:** Hm, it is strange, but the dumpster is usually full by Wednesday. Oh well. If I may save on garbage removal, then I am not going to complain.

He heads back inside. Pan over to see the girls watching from around a corner.

**MOON-PEACH:** You have got to be kidding me.

They walk over and peer into the dumpster. A CGI-EFFECT (portal to the Dark Kingdom) is inside.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Okay, I am not getting in there.  
**MERC-NANA:** Why not?  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Because it's a dumpster, of course!  
**LUNA:** Oh, You don't be such a baby, Sailor Mars! There's no trash in there, just a mysterious portal to terra incognita.  
**VENUS-ZELDA:** Yes, have a little more bravery!

She climbs into the dumpster. There is a flash of black light and a spooky wail.

**MARS-SAMUS:** I don't care. I'm not going in.  
**JUP-DAISY:** Oh yes you are! (Picks up Mars-Samus)  
**MARS-SAMUS:** Hey!

Jup-Daisy throws her into the dumpster.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Waagh!

**CUT TO:**

**UNDERGROUND CAVERN**  
There is a flash of light near the ceiling, and Mars-Samus appears, falling to the ground.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Ow... that jerks... (Getting up) I wonder where Sailor Venus is...

She looks up. A large pile of BLACK TRASH BAGS marked "Good-E-Mart" is next to her. After a moment Venus-Zelda pops her head out of the pile. She has a banana peel on her head and looks annoyed. There are another 5 flashes, and Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana, Jup-Daisy, Luna and Artemis fall onto the trash pile. They stick their heads out, covered in trash. Mars-Samus gapes at the scene for a moment, and then starts rolling around on the floor laughing.

**MARS-SAMUS:** HA HA HA HA HA, HA HA HA HA HA, HAHA HA HA HA HA AH HA HA! Serves you right!

As she laughs, the others climb out of the trash. Jup-Daisy takes Mars' hand and gives her a small electric shock.

**JUP-DAISY:** Hey, it's not funny, okay!

**CUT TO:**

**PASSAGEWAY**  
Everyone walks along, following Merc-Nana and her computer.

**MERC-NANA:** The Dark Kingdom's base is along here somewhere...

They start to run. The tunnel eventually rises to the surface, revealing...

**CUT TO:**

**TUNNEL ENTRANCE AT SNOWFIELD**  
A vast snowfield, in the middle of a blizzard. A plume of black smoke is visible in the distance.

**JUP-DAISY** (rubbing arms): Woah! It's cold!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Where are we, Mercury?  
**MERC-NANA:** According to my computer's GPS, we're somewhere in the Arctic Circle!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Then... that smoke must be coming from the Dark Kingdom's lair!  
**WARIOITE** (OS): That's right, Sailor Moon.

WARIOITE has teleports in front of the Sailor Soldiers.

**WARIOITE:** Took you girls long enough, didn't it? I would like to take you to the Dark Kingdom now, but the stupid builders we hired are running over time and over budget. So I'll just stop you here instead.  
**JUP-DAISY:** Like hell you will! SUPREIM THUNDA!

Jup-Daisy shoots a stream of electricity at Warioite, but he just teleports out of the way.

**JUP-DAISY:** Huh, I can't hit him!  
**WARIOITE:** I'll give you a chance, kids. Sailor Moon! Give me the Ginzoushou now and I'll spare your lives!  
**MOON-PEACH:** You must be kidding! After all the problems and weirdness I've had over the past few months, there's no way I'm giving up now! Tell me what you've done with Tuxedo Kamen!

**WARIOITE:** He's safe, now. But you... since you won't help; I will throw you into the Dimension of Random Time!

The sailors and cats look confused.

**VENUS-ZELDA:** The Dimension of Random What?  
**WARIOITE**: The Dimension of Random Time! (Dramatic) You will be sent flying uncontrollably though time... you could end up Africa during the time of the dinosaurs and cavemen, or stranded in France in 1940 during World War 2, or trapped on the Isle of Orkney at any point in time, they're all equally dull!

The sailors and cats' look confused again.

**MOON-PEACH:** But that's a terrible idea for you! Think of all the good we could do if we went back in time!  
**MERC-NANA:** We could warn the Chernobyl safety supervisors!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** We could lie in wait at the Grassy Knoll for anyone with a rifle!  
**JUP-DAISY:** We could warn Sega about Bernie Stolar!  
**ARTEMIS:** We could sit under Bill Gates' chair and make farting noises while he brokers his first deal with IBM!  
**LUNA** (resigned): Somehow I suspect you would do that Artemis...  
**WARIOITE:** Stop using logic, You Numbskulls! Get out of here! ALL OF YOU!

He puts his hands together and throws a huge mass of energy at the girls. Venus-Zelda and Jup-Daisy try to shield the others, but they all get caught up and dragged in. Moon-Peach drops the moon wand (Which has the Ginzoushou attached). Warioite tries to grab it, but the wand spins by itself and smacks its handle against the back of his hand. The wand follows the girls into the Dimension of Random Time.

**CUT TO:**

**WEIRDO SPACE**  
You know the drill. Clocks, pendulums, E=MC2, other weird stuff. The 5 soldiers and 2 cats fall through this weirdo wonderland. Screen fades to white as they fall into regular time.

**CUT TO:**

**CARTOON** **MUSHROOM** **KINGDOM**  
everyone lies on a round platform surrounded by a glass wall. We can also see the legs of a table. Moon-Peach stirs.

**MOON-PEACH:** Great... where are we?

She stands, and comes face to face with GOKU, a constipated looking man with black hair. Or rather, it's Goku's face on a glass jar, on the table.

**MOON-PEACH:** Aaaagh! Who the heck are you?  
**GOKU'S FACE**: I'm Goku, a Super-duper Saiyin and great warrior!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Warrior? But you're just a face on a jar!  
**GOKU'S FACE**: Hey, I can still kick anyone's ass, even though I don't have any legs. It's a shame I don't have much of a brain, that and my jaws are all I have left.

Pan over to a nearby console, where CARTOON LUIGI, PRINCESS TOADSTOOL and CARTOON MARIO stand facing away from the girls.

**C-MARIO**: Okay, now to try this time machine out. How about we send Goku here to the moon a few thousand years ago?  
**C-LUIGI**: We'll finally be rid of him.  
**P-TOADSTOOL**: Sounds good to me.

C-Luigi turns, and sees the sailors.

**C-LUIGI**: Hey Mario, should the little girls in the test area?  
**C-MARIO**: No, and since they shouldn't be there that means they can't be there. Stop hallucinating Luigi.

He hits the button. The soldiers, cats and Goku's face disappear. C-Mario turns and looks at the test area.

**C-MARIO**: There's nothing there now which means they're never were any girls. Go to Toad for some brain medicine Luigi.

**EXT: THE MOON IN THE DISTANT PAST - NIGHT**  
we appear to be on the outskirts of a ruined city. Fallen pillars, arches and rubble are everywhere. Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy, Venus-Zelda, Luna, Artemis and Goku's face appear on a raised platform. The Moon Wand lands next to Moon-Peach.  
Everyone gets up.

**MERC-NANA:** Now where are we?  
**MOON-PEACH:** It seems familiar...  
**LUNA:** Oh my... we're on the moon! This is the site of the old Moon Kingdom, the Silver Millennium!  
**ARTEMIS** (awed): I never thought I would see it again...

Artemis and Luna wander away, looking around. The soldiers follow them, a little awed. Goku watches them go as they leave him where he is.

**GOKU**: Hey, could someone pick me up and bring me along? Hey! (Shout) Hello! Don't ignore me you jerk! Come back! Okay, that does it! I'm going Super-Saiyin! You'll regret this!

Goku's hair turns yellow. Nothing else happens.

**GOKU**: Aw crap. (Calls) Hello? Is anyone out there? Little help here?

**CUT TO:**

**RUINED FLOWER FIELD**  
A wide field in front of the main palace flanked with pillars, now a barren wasteland. The soldiers and cats walk thought it on the way to the palace.

**MOON-PEACH:** Luna, what happened here?  
**LUNA:** It's a long and painful story, Sailor Moon... you see...

Suddenly the Ginzoushou shines brightly, and the palace appears to rebuild itself. The field fills itself with flowers under their feet. Daylight breaks, brightly lighting the whole scene.

**MARS-SAMUS:** What the...

The palace is clearly seen. It has a very Russian design to it, with lots of domes and so on.

**LUNA:** The palace...

Artemis flips out.

**ARTEMIS:** THE PRINCESS!  
**MOON-PEACH:** What? Where?

**CUT TO:**

**THE OTHER SIDE** **OF THE FIELD**  
A ghostly image is walking among the flowers some distance away. It is a girl of about 14, wearing a long and fancy white dress. She has an unusual hairstyle - a ball of hair on either side of her head, and a long ponytail coming down from each ball. She also has a crescent-moon mark on her forehead similar to Luna's. It's clearly the first girl from Mamoru's dream. She stoops, and picks a flower.

**CUT TO:**

**LUNA'S SIDE**  
Luna looks at her in shock; she hasn't seen this girl in centuries.

**LUNA:** PRINCESS SERENITY!

Luna starts running over to Serenity.

**CUT TO:**

**SERENITY'S SIDE** **OF THE FIELD**  
Serenity looks at the flower she's just picked. Another ghostly figure, a man in light armor with a sword at his waist approaches her, his back to the camera. She looks up him with a smile, and then both the ghosts disappear just as Luna gets there.

**LUNA** (distraught): PRINCESS SERENITY!

The rest of the girls and Artemis catch up with Luna.

**MOON-PEACH:** What was that about?  
**LUNA:** That was Princess Serenity... the girl we've been looking for!  
**MERC-NANA:** My computer says she was just an illusion.

The Ginzoushou flashes again and night falls. Lights come on in the palace, reflecting off of the huge lake in front of it. Fireworks start to go off in the sky above the palace.

**ARTEMIS:** It seems the Ginzoushou wants to tell the story... come on.

He turns to the castle, and they all set off towards it.

**CUT TO:**

**PALACE BALLROOM**  
There are dozens of ghostly figures in here, dancing in a waltz. All the men are dressed in tuxedos and wear masks like Tuxedo Kamen's, all the women wear dresses similar to Serenity's. The soldiers and cats silently pass though the hall, subconsciously splitting into two groups. Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana follow Luna up the main staircase. Mars-Sams, Jup-Daisy and Venus-Zelda follow Artemis into a passageway on this level.

**LUNA** (voiceover): They were a race of immortal beings that were born on the Moon...  
**ARTEMIS** (voiceover): Their purpose was to protect the earth, and help it evolve. They were also the protectors of the Silver Plot Device.

**CUT TO:**

**CORRIDOR**  
Artemis leads his group along as they explore the palace. Suddenly Mars-Samus gasps, and points along the corridor.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Look!

Two ghostly figures are approaching them - SAILOR GHOST-MARS and SAILOR GHOST-JUPITER. Ghost-Mars resembles Mars-Samus but is about 14. Ghost-Jupiter resembles Jup-Daisy and is the same age, but has slightly different facial features. They walk toward the group, speaking soundlessly, and walk straight past them before disappearing.

**MARS-SAMUS:** Who the heck was that, and why was she dressed as Sailor Mars? I'M Sailor Mars!  
**ARTEMIS:** They're your past selves - the princesses of Mars and Jupiter, and bodyguards of Serenity. Don't they bring back any memories?  
**JUP-DAISY:** Not really. Should they?

Artemis frowns, slightly worried. They continue down the corridor. As they pass an archway heading outside, they look outside and everyone gasps again.

**ARTEMIS:** Of course! Her!

**CUT TO:**

**UPPER LEVEL CORRIDOR**  
Luna leads her group along.

**LUNA:** Are you sure you have not seen a girl who looks like Serenity before?  
**MOON-PEACH:** I'm sure. That's a hairstyle I would remember.  
**LUNA:** Hm. It's just worrying... (Stops walking, depressed) we really should have her by now.  
**MERC-NANA:** Don't worry about that Luna. I'm sure we'll find her very soon.

As they talk, another ghostly figure passes by them. It's SAILOR GHOST-MERCURY. She looks very little like Nana - she has short blue hair, and is also about 14. Ghost-Mercury heads further along the corridor, and turns left into a room.

**MERC-NANA:** Who on earth was that? Why was she dressed like me?  
**LUNA:** That was the Silver Millennium's Sailor Mercury, your past self.  
**MERC-NANA:** My past self? But she doesn't look anything like me!

Merc-Nana gives chase to the door that Ghost-Mercury entered. She freezes as she sees what's inside.

**MERC-NANA:** Peach?!?  
**MOON-PEACH:** Huh?

Moon-Peach and Luna run up to the door and look inside.

**LUNA:** Of course! Her!

**CUT TO:**

**VIEW INTO THE ROOM**  
The room is a library. There is an old wooden table, and a GIRL of about 8 years sits at it, reading a thick book. She wears the same kind of dress as Serenity, and looks REMARKABLY like Princess Peach. Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana and Luna stare at the scene.

**MOON-PEACH:** It's... it's me!

Ghost-Mercury appears. She sits down at the table across from the Peach-ish ghost.

**GHOST-MERCURY**: How are you doing, Princess Leitha?  
**LEITHA:** I finished the assignment.

She hands a piece of paper to Ghost-Mercury, who reads it.

**GHOST-MERCURY**: Very good, I'm impressed. You nearly got it all right.

Ghost Mercury fades away, and Leitha resumes her reading.

**LUNA:** I had forgotten about this girl... Princess Leitha...  
**MOON-PEACH** (confused): I can remember something... but it's unclear... Luna, what is this?  
**LUNA:** Long ago, before the Dark Kingdom, an evil force attacked the Moon Kingdom, and there was a war. But in the end it was stopped not by a Sailor Soldier or an army, but by a common man and his wife who sacrificed themselves for the kingdom. They were hailed as heroes...

Dream blur out.

**CUT TO:**

**MOON KINGDOM THRONE ROOM** **- FLASHBACK**  
QUEEN SERENITY sits on the throne. She looks just like Princess Serenity but older, and she has white hair in the same style.  
The throne room is packed with people, but they leave a narrow path from the door to the throne.

**LUNA:** But when they died, they left behind a problem...

The double doors at the end of the room open, and a General enters. He leads a small girl along beside him - it's a super-cute TODDLER LEITHA. She looks a little scared and apprehensive, and clutches a teddy bear.

**LUNA** (cont): their now orphaned daughter, Leitha.

Leitha is lead up to the throne, and made to stand before the Queen. The Queen gets up from her throne and picks up the girl, hugging her.

**LUNA** (cont): To honor Leitha's parents, Queen Serenity adopted Leitha, and gave her a portion of her power.

The Queen passes the palm of her hand over Leitha's forehead. A crescent-moon mark appears on it. The crowd cheers, and Leitha looks around, smiling though she's not sure what's happened.

**CUT TO:**

**CASTLE COURTYARD**  
The shot shows a large grass courtyard. Artemis, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy and Venus-Zelda stand at the far end, in the background.

**ARTEMIS** (continuing from Luna): Leitha would be allowed to be a Sailor Soldier.

A ghostly Princess Leitha and ghostly SAILOR VENUS step into the foreground, on the grass. Unlike the others, this Ghost-Venus is completely identical to Venus-Zelda. Leitha is 8 again, and wears a "trainee" Sailor Soldier uniform, that is all white but has no bows or scarf. They both have swords - they salute each other with them, and then start to practice. Ghost-Venus seems to be taking it lightly, almost humoring Leitha, but Leitha is taking it very seriously and trying hard.

**VENUS-ZELDA** - I... I remember this now. Leitha was always so enthusiastic and tried very hard to be a good Sailor Soldier - when she discovered that we were allowed to use swords, she begged me to show her how. (Giggle) Which is strange, because I don't think I know how to swordfight!  
**JUP-DAISY** (watching fight): You could have fooled me.  
**ARTEMIS:** I suppose you must have forgotten, Venus. Anyway, the new Princess proved to be extremely intelligent, devoted and a fast learner... but since she was really a commoner, she had a very bad grasp of magic. That'll be why Sailor Moon can't use the Ginzoushou, maybe.

**CUT TO:**

**BALCONY**  
Luna, Moon-Peach and Merc-Nana come out of a passageway, onto a long balcony overlooking the gardens. A ghostly Princess Serenity is here. She looks up at the Earth in the sky longingly.

**LUNA** (gasp): Princess Serenity!  
**VOICE** (male, OS): Princess Serenity!

Serenity looks down over the balcony. A ghostly PRINCE ENDYMION of Earth stands on a path in the gardens. He is the armored man who approached Serenity in the field of flowers, and he looks a lot like Mamoru.

**SERENITY:** Prince Endymion!  
**MOON-PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen!  
**ENDYMION** (to Serenity): I'm sorry I am late for the masquerade ball...  
**SERENITY:** Yes, I missed you...  
**ENDYMION:** Unfortunately, a major problem has come up. Beryl has possessed many people from my planet - she is taking advantage of their lust for your immortality, and she will use them to attack the Moon soon...

He climbs up to the balcony, and stands beside Serenity.

**ENDYMION:** Beryl is using the power of a creature called Metallica - she will use this power to attack very soon. If we do not act the Moon will be destroyed - we must crush Beryl's ambition as soon as possible. I need your help, Princess Serenity.  
**SERENITY:** I see... (To self, lovestruck) Wow, it's all so hard boiled and romantic!  
**ENDYMION:** Do you believe me?  
**SERENITY** (lovestruck): Of, of course I do. Prince Endymion...  
**ENDYMION:** Princess Serenity...

They get closer to each other, and kiss. Moon-Peach almost turns green, and glares at Serenity.

**MERC-NANA** (sly): Are you jealous?  
**MOON-PEACH** (annoyed): Huh? No, not at all!  
**MERC-NANA** (sly): You are jealous!  
**MOON-PEACH** (annoyed): Hey! I told you I'm not!

The Ginzoushou glows again. The ghosts of Serenity and Endymion fade away, Camera pans up to show the tower.

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE THE TOWER**  
Artemis, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy and Venus-Zelda have gathered in a room. Two ghosts are here - Princess Leitha, and PRINCESS ALYSSA. Alyssa wears a similar white dress to Leitha's, and has long brown hair down past her shoulders...

**MARS-SAMAU:** Now who's this? She looks a lot like Nana.  
**ARTEMIS:** I think she's Princess Alyssa, from Mercury. She was Sailor Mercury's little sister, if I remember correctly.

The door opens behind them, and the ghost of PRINCESS JACINTHA is pushed though by Ghost-Mars. Surprise! She looks just like Samus.

**GHOST-MARS**: Now Jacintha, play nice with the girls while we go to the masquerade ball, okay?  
**JACINTHA:** But sis... does me have to? I want to come to the ball too!  
**MARS-JESSICA:** It's me!  
**GHOST-MARS**: We already told you, you're too young. Now have fun with Leitha and Alyssa until mother comes to get you.

Ghost-Mars closes the door behind her, and Jacintha glares at Leitha and Alyssa.

**LEITHA:** Hi Jacintha.

Jacintha folder her arms, and glares at Leitha.

**JACINTHA:** Great. I'm stuck here with the commoner, (glares at Alyssa) and the nerd.

The other two princesses glare at Jacintha. Then all three of the ghosts disappear. Jup-Laura looks stunned.

**JUP-LAURA:** Wow, you were really snobby in your past life, Mars.  
**MARS-JESSICA:** Excuse me? _Were_?

**CUT TO:**

**THE BALLROOM**  
The ballroom is now devoid of ghosts. Luna's group has found their way back inside, and now stand at the foot of the main stairs. They head upstairs, and meet Artemis' group coming out of the door leading to the tower. The two groups stand on a balcony that overlooks the ballroom.

**ARTEMIS:** There you are. We were wondering where you had got to.  
**VENUS-ZELDA:** You'd never believe the things we've seen, Sailor Moon...  
**MERC-NANA:** Same with us. Sailor Moon was an adopted princess here!  
**MARS-SAMUS:** She wasn't the only princess, Mercury...

Almost on cue, the Ginzoushou flashes once again, and the music resumes as the dancing ghosts reappear. In addition, the ghosts of Jacintha, Leitha and Alyssa run past, and peer over the balcony rail.

**MOON-PEACH:** What the?  
**MERC-NANA:** Was that me?

All of the soldiers and cats follow the ghosts to where they stand, and listen in to the conversation.

**LEITHA:** I don't know if we should be down here, Jacintha.  
**JACINTHA:** Oh, don't be such a baby. We're not going to get punished for just looking, are we?  
**LEITHA:** I guess not... hey, can anyone see Prince Endymion down there?  
**ALYSSA** (looking): No... He's not there.  
**LEITHA:** Aww...  
**JACINTHA:** Don't tell me you still have a crush on that earthling? You do know he's in love with your sister, right?  
**LEITHA:** He is not!  
**ALYSSA:** Ah, the wonderful power of denial...  
**JACINTHA:** Come on Leitha, there's lots of other guys down there.  
**ALYSSA:** Yeah. Like that prince from Uranus!  
**LEITHA:** Who? Oooh... yeah, he is pretty handsome...

Jacintha looks horrified.

**JACINTHA:** Uh, you do realize that's not a Prince... no never mind. I don't want to be the one to explain it.  
**VOICE** (female, OS): Hey, what are you girls doing here?

Everyone, ghosts and living included, turns to see PRINCESS LEORA approaching them. This one resembles Laura.

**MARS-SAMUS:** This... this one is you, Jupiter!  
**JUP-DAISY:** I was wondering when I would turn up.  
**JACINTHA:** Leora! I can explain... uh, Leitha thought it would be...  
**LEITHA:** Hey!  
**LEORA**: Hey, don't worry... I'm not going to tell you off. I just came up to get away from the party. (She leans against the rail, and sighs) Frankly, it'll be nice to talk to someone who doesn't just want me to introduce them to my sister.

She looks down at Ghost-Jupiter, who is surrounded by several men trying to chat up, and sighs again.

**LEORA**: If I had just been born 20 minutes earlier, I would be the one wearing that Sailor Jupiter uniform. But she gets all the attention just because she came out first.  
**JACINTHA:** I know what you mean. My sis gets to have all this cool magical training to control fire, but they won't let me even let me touch it. She's always bossing me around too  
**ALYSSA:** I really like my big sister, but she's always talking down to me because I'm younger. I'd know as much as her if I was as old as her.  
**LEITHA:** Serenity's really nice, but she's not that smart and she's so idle... but she gets to use the Ginzoushou, and she gets to have Endymion fall in love with her. It's not fair.  
**ALYSSA:** Yeah.  
**JACINTHA:** Yeah.  
**LEORA**: Yeah.

Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus and Jup-Daisy watch the scene, entranced.

**MOON-PEACH/MERC-NANA/MARS-SAMUS/JUP-DAISY** (chorus): Yeah...

Venus-Zelda stands off to the side, with Luna and Artemis.

**VENUS-ZELDA** (confused): I don't understand... what does this mean?  
**ARTEMIS** (grim): I have my suspicions... and they're not good. (Glares at Luna)  
**LUNA** (ignoring him): Sssh. It's about to start.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Huh? What's starting?  
**VOICE** (Luna, OS): Queen Serenity! Queen Serenity!

A door at the end of the ballroom opens, and GHOST-LUNA and GHOST-ARTEMIS enter, running though the crowd to the Queen.

**GHOST-LUNA:** We have a dire emergency!  
**GHOST-ARTEMIS:** The British are coming! The British are coming! Uh, I mean... the Earthlings are coming!

Up on the balcony, Artemis bangs his head against a pillar.

**ARTEMIS:** My chance to shine and I fluff my line... D'oh!  
**QUEEN SERENITY:** What do they want?  
**GHOST-ARTEMIS:** I'm not quite sure your highness, but they've brought a flag.

All of the ghosts panic. Queen Serenity tries to retain some order but it's too late. Ghost-Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Venus gather together.

**GHOST-VENUS:** Where's Princess Serenity?  
**GHOST-MARS**: I don't know! Didn't you keep an eye on her?  
**GHOST-VENUS:** We're all supposed to keep an eye on her!  
**GHOST-MARS**: Well, did you?  
**GHOST-VENUS:** No! Did you?  
**GHOST-JUPITER**: Will you two calm down? This isn't helping.  
**GHOST-MERCURY**: She's right. We have to find Serenity now!

Up on the balcony, Leitha runs over to a window behind her and looks out.

**LEITHA **(horrified)**:** Oh no!

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE THE PALACE**  
A ghostly army of EARTHLINGS approaches, led by BERYL. Behind her are KUNZITE, ZOISITE, NEPHRITE, JADEITE, WARIOITE, LUIGITE, MARIOITE, YOSHITE and WALUIGITE.

**CUT TO:**

**SHOT OF THE PALACE**  
A shot of the entire palace from outside. Purple lightning crackles above it for a moment, before the castle is subjected to a massive bombardment of magical energy. Walls and towers crumble immediately.

**CUT TO:**

**THE DANCEFLOOR**  
All 4 ghost Soldiers look up as the ceiling collapses on them.

**CUT TO:**

**BALLROOM BALCONY**  
Everyone is screaming and running. The balcony that the girls were standing on buckles and crumbles, sending them all flying. As Moon-Peach starts to fall the Ginzoushou once again glows brightly and all of the living people disappear.  
Leitha is thrown off the disintegrating balcony, landing on her back on the ballroom floor. She groans, looks up... and sees a huge chunk of masonry falling toward her. Leitha braces herself...

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE WALLS**  
A wide path along the top of the walls. This part of the palace is still mostly intact, but there seems to be a strong updraft outside the walls that is sweeping debris up into the air. There is a flash, before Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana, Mars-Samus, Jup-Daisy, Venus-Zelda, Luna and Artemis appear. They all appear disoriented for a moment, and look around at the devastation. Moon-Peach turns to see the main part of the palace collapse, and runs over to the edge of the wall to look.

**MOON-PEACH** (distraught): Luna! What happened to us! What happened to Leitha? Tell me, because I don't remember that, and I need to know!  
**LUNA** (quiet): I'm sorry... I don't know.  
**MERC-NANA** (shocked): The end of the Silver Millennium came... so quickly...  
**LUNA:** No, it's not really over yet.

The Ginzoushou flashes once again. PRINCESS SERENITY, PRINCE ENDYMION and QUEEN BERYL appear - Serenity and Endymion stand on the wall, with Endymion in front of Serenity, while Beryl floats in the middle of the updraft. (Note to the confused, like me: despite her title, Queen Beryl is not Prince Endymion's mother)

**ARTEMIS:** Princess Serenity!  
**ENDYMION** (to Beryl): Beryl! If you lay one finger on the Princess, you'll pay dearly.  
**BERYL:** Think it over, Endymion. You are the Prince of the Earth. Why betray your people for the selfish people of the Moon Kingdom? Marry me, and you'll become king of the entire solar system!  
**ENDYMION:** I will not betray Serenity and the Moon Kingdom! You're being used by Metallica's evil energy, Beryl! Open your eyes!  
**BERYL:** SILENCE! I'll just kill both of you!

Beryl rears back and casts a spell. A huge pillar of green lightning appears, smashing its way over the palace. It passes over Serenity and Endymion - he tries to shield her from it, and for his efforts he is dragged away and into the updraft.

**SERENITY:** ENDYMION! ENDYMION!

He fights it, but the updraft pulls Endymion further out beyond the palace wall. Serenity runs after him.

**ENDYMION:** Serenity, no!

She leaps out after him, into the updraft. The two manage to drift toward each other, but just as they are about to touch hands, a bolt of energy strikes them both. Both die instantly.

**LUNA:** PRINCESS SERENITY!  
**MOON-PEACH:** MARIO... I mean, ENDYMION!

The Ginzoushou flashes, and Serenity, Endymion and Beryl fade away. Everyone left is emotionally exhausted.

**LUNA:** Queen Serenity was the only survivor of the attack, but she didn't last long. She used the Ginzoushou's power to seal away the Dark Kingdom, and then sent the souls of everyone who was killed to Earth to be reincarnated.  
**ARTEMIS:** Now, it's really over.  
**MOON-PEACH:** Oh God, I hope it is. (To Ginzoushou) Please don't show us any more. I don't want to stand helplessly while we watch more people die. Send us home...

The Ginzoushou flashes one last time. All the girls and cats disappear.

**CUT TO:**

**DIMENSION OF RANDOM TIME**  
everyone falls though the DORT.

**EXT: BEHIND GOOD-E-MART - DAY**  
The Moon Wand falls from the sky. As it hits the ground, there is a flash from the Ginzoushou, and suddenly MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA, MARS-SAMUS, JUP-DAISY, VENUS-ZELDA, LUNA and ARTEMIS are standing beside the dumpster. They look around for a moment, disoriented. Luna gets her wits about her quickly, and walks a few paces toward the street.

**MERC-NANA:** We're back...  
**JUP-DAISY:** Back in Springfield.  
**MOON-PEACH:** It's over...  
**MARS-SAMUS:** But... what did any of it mean, really? We saw the past... and we were there...  
**LUNA:** I can explain it.  
**MOON-PEACH:** You can? What did it mean?

Close-up of Luna, she seems a little aggravated.

**LUNA:** After the death of the queen, Artemis and I set about trying to find the reincarnated Princesses. We desperately needed Princess Serenity and her friends the Sailor Soldiers, because they were the only ones who could defeat Beryl.

She walks over to a discarded cola can on the ground.

**LUNA:** We went our separate ways. I tried looking for Queen Serenity's power signature, knowing that the Princess would share it. I eventually found a very faint trace of it in Peach... but I had forgotten about Leitha.

Luna seems to tense up, and glares at the can.

**LUNA:** In short... we were so close this time... but once again I have the WRONG (bleeped) GIRLS!

She yowls in anger, and kicks the can. It goes flying into a wall, rebounds off, and almost hits Moon-Peach. All of the soldiers yell in surprise. While they were previously a little bewildered, now they're completely confused by this unusual change in Luna's attitude.

**MOON-PEACH** (confused): The wrong girls? What do you mean we're the wrong girls?  
**LUNA** (furious): I mean, Peach Toadstool, you are not Princess Serenity! You may have shared enough of the Queen's power to become Sailor Moon, but you will never be able to use the Ginzoushou! Never! (Looks at other soldiers) The same goes for you other girls!  
**MOON-PEACH** (shocked): What do you mean...  
**MERC-NANA** (shocked): We're not the right girls?  
**ARTEMIS:** Not quite... Zelda... you are the real Sailor Venus.  
**VENUS-ZELDA:** I am? Why only me?  
**ARTEMIS:** Because you were found by me. When Luna made her mistake with Princess Peach, it snowballed and Nana, Samus and Daisy got caught up too. (Glares at Luna) You suspected this once you found Peach couldn't use the Ginzoushou at the Popsicle tower, didn't you Luna?  
**LUNA** (snapping at Artemis): Oh keep out of this, Artemis! So you finally got something right for once. At least I never got any of the girls I found (yelling) BURNT AT THE STAKE!

Artemis looks horrified.

**ARTEMIS** (teary-eyed): You promised you'd never mention ma Joanie Marine again!

He runs off, crying to himself. Moon-Peach turns back to Luna.

**MOON-PEACH:** But Luna... we can do this! We don't need the Princess...  
**LUNA:** We do need her, and you are not taking another step toward our enemy! You cannot use the Ginzoushou, you cannot defeat Beryl, and these girls will not be powerful enough to help you! You would die for nothing!  
**MOON-PEACH** (yelling): But we can defeat the Dark Kingdom, I know we can! We're going to try!  
**LUNA:** OVER MY DEAD BODY!

The girls gasp as Luna's hackles rise, and the Moon on her forehead glows. Moon, Mercury, Mars and Jupiter suddenly de-transform back into PEACH, NANA, SAMUS and DAISY. The reason becomes clear - Luna is somehow summoning their pens and the brooch back to her, along with the communicators and Mercury's computer! They float over to Luna and land on the ground in front of her.

**NANA:** Hey!  
**SAMUS:** What the?  
**DAISY:** Huh?  
**PEACH:** LUNA! What are you...  
**LUNA:** There's no way I can allow you to go near the Dark Kingdom now, Peach. I'm going to go now... I need to find the Princess. Since Zelda came from Hyrule, I suspect she might be there.  
**PEACH** (taken aback): You're leaving? Just like that? But... you know we can help! We can do it, believe me!  
**LUNA** (sad): I must go now; we don't have much time and... I should go before I cause any more damage around here... I'm... I'm sorry to have wasted your time over the past few months, Peach. P-please don't hate me... goodbye!

Luna runs, taking the pens and brooch with her. Peach yells after her.

**PEACH:** Come back! HEY! LUNA! COME BACK! (Pause, gets angry) ALRIGHT! OKAY! FINE! GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE! I never wanted to do this anyway! It's stupid! It makes no rational sense! I'm just a kid! All our enemies were idiots! It was INCREDIBLY embarrassing wearing that thing anyway! Make some other girl save the world! I always hated it! And (scream) I HATE YOU, LUNA!

**NANA** (OS): Lisa...

Peach turns, to glare at Nana, Samus and Daisy. They look very concerned and shocked.

**VENUS-ZELDA** (OS): Peach... I'm...

Peach turns to look at Venus-Zelda, who is also concerned and a little bit self-conscious. She sees Venus, still in the Sailor uniform, and for a second imagines herself in Venus' place, wearing the Moon uniform.

**PEACH** (sad): But... I was enjoying it... it was weird, but we had fun... we were going to...

Peach's eyes fill with tears, she sniffs, and she runs off for home, crying to herself.  
Nana and Samus move to follow her, but Daisy holds them back.

**DAISY:** No... Leave her for now...

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE PEACH'S CASTLE**  
Peach runs up the front path and into the house, slamming the door behind her.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Peach runs in and slams the door behind her, before sitting against it.

**PEACH:** Luna you... traitor! (Bitter) Well... I don't care anymore! I have more important things to do!

She gets up and walks over to her desk.

**PEACH:** I need to get back into studying more. (Sarcastic) "Saving the world" was eating into my time too much.

She picks up a book, and as she does so a picture on her desk catches her eye. It's a group pic of her, Nana, Samus, Daisy, Zelda, Luna and Artemis. She frowns and places it flat on the desk. Also, Samus's signed Sailor V manga is on her desk - Peach picks it up, and shoves it onto a shelf carelessly.

**PEACH:** I don't have any time for that, now.

**CUT TO:**

**ZELDA'S APARTMENT**  
Somehow Zelda has managed to live by herself in this apartment. She sits at a table, and Artemis lies on the table.

**ZELDA:** But... I don't understand, Artemis. Why did Luna get so angry at the girls, and you? It wasn't fair on them...  
**ARTEMIS:** She didn't get angry at us, Zelda-Chan. She's angry at herself, and frustrated. Do you have any idea how long she has been looking for Serenity?  
**ZELDA:** No...  
**ARTEMIS:** Neither do she and I know I don't have a clue. But she's so dedicated, and she can be stubborn... I just hope we have enough time left before the Dark Kingdom plays its final hand.  
**ZELDA:** How is Luna doing anyway?  
**ARTEMIS:** I persuaded her to spend the night here before we leave tomorrow. She's sleeping in your room now.  
**ZELDA** (sigh): So we're going on the road again, I guess...

Zelda leans on the table, deep in thought.

**CUT TO:**

**ZELDA'S ROOM**  
It's still day, but the curtains are drawn and it's fairly dark in here. Luna lies on a rug on the floor, asleep. The brooch, pens, communicators and computer lie beside her. But Luna shivers in her sleep... zoom in to her head...

**MIX TO:**

**LUNA'S DREAM**  
Side view of Luna running along a street, with a white fence in the background with an image of Moon-Peach, Merc-Nana and Mars-Samus appears over her head.

**MOON-PEACH:** What do you mean...?

The image disappears, and is replaced by an image of 3 other sailors - MOON-SAKURA, MERC-R. MIKA, and MARS-KARIN.

**MERC-R. MIKA** (cont): ... we're not the right girls, sir?

The image disappears, and is replaced by one of MOON-ATHENA, MERC-KISARAH and MARS-YURI.

**MARS-YURI**: You are *so* dead...

The image disappears, and is replaced by MOON-AMY, MERC-CREAM, and MARS-ROUGE.

**MOON-AMY** (cont): ... you &*^%ing bi%$h!

The image disappears.

**PEACH** (OS, screams, echo): I HATE YOU, LUNA!  
**LUNA:** Peach... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

Luna almost trips as she runs, but continues. She appears to be crying. As she continues a cacophony of voices start shouting, each saying a variation on "I HATE YOU, LUNA!"

**MIX TO:**

**ZELDA'S ROOM**  
Zoom back out from Luna's head. She's still not sleeping peacefully. The door opens a crack, and a SHADOW sneaks in. It creeps over to Luna...

**LUNA:** I'm sorry... sorry...  
**SHADOW** (female, quiet): Softly, softly... sneaky, sneaky...

The shadow grabs the equipment, and sneaks out of the door.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Peach's attempt to study has failed. She sits at her desk, trying to read the Sailor V manga. She traces her finger along the hiragana lettering.

**PEACH** (struggling): "A-ta-shi... wa..." oh great, katakana, I think that'll be "Sailor Venus" though... "wa... yo..." oh, now I know how Dry Bones feels... agh, this is no good! I'm just torturing myself now! (Slams the manga shut) I need to STUDY!

Lisa puts the manga down, and throws open her textbook. As she does so a piece of paper comes out from between the pages and lands on the floor. She bends down to see what it is.

**PEACH:** Oh... I haven't seen this in a while...

She puts the piece of paper on her desk, and idly writes a few things on it. Then she sits and looks at it for just a little while, until there is a knock on her door.

**SAMUS** (OS): Uh, Peach? Can we come in?

Peach gets up, and walks over to the door and opens it. NANA, SAMUS, DAISY and ZELDA are in the corridor. Peach frowns at Zelda.

**PEACH:** Sorry... I don't feel like talking much now... what do you want?  
**DAISY:** Well, love and justice would be nice.  
**SAMUS:** There's some punishing to do, and I'm lazy.  
**NANA:** We want our leader back, Peach.  
**ZELDA:** Here. I took them back from Luna.

Zelda holds out a hand - she has Peach's brooch. Peach looks at it, and then at her friends. Each of them holds a transformation pen, and Nana has her computer. But Peach frowns, and heads back into her room without taking the brooch.

**PEACH:** No thanks. I don't want it.

They follow Peach into her room, and Samus closes the door.

**NANA:** Why not?  
**DAISY:** Are you thinking about what Luna said?  
**PEACH:** Yes. I can't use the Ginzoushou.  
**NANA:** Who said you could never? I saw you use it.

Samus wanders over to Peach's desk.

**PEACH:** When?  
**NANA:** You asked the Ginzoushou to send us home. It did.  
**PEACH:** That wasn't a use!  
**DAISY:** It did exactly what you asked it to.  
**PEACH:** Okay... MAYBE the Ginzoushou did respond to me... but it might have been about to send us home anyway! And I don't want to be Sailor Moon anyway!

Pan over to Samus. She is sitting on Peach's desk, reading the manga.

**DAISY:** Yet the first you did when you came home was read my Sailor V manga?  
**PEACH:** Huh? (Lie) I didn't! That's been on my desk for days.  
**SAMUS:** There are salty water-stains all over it. Someone's used their hands to wipe away tears, and then ran their hands all over the speech bubbles. (Closes manga) I may have to kill you for this, but that can wait.  
**NANA:** Are you sure you don't want to be Sailor Moon?  
**PEACH:** But I'm not Sailor Moon! My "sister" Serenity should be! We're the understudies, the backup princesses they never expected to use!  
**ZELDA:** I don't remember the real princesses well. I'm sure they're great people, and we'd be friends. But you are the Sailor Soldiers who are here now, and I have spent enough time with you all to believe you can do it!

Peach looks around for an excuse.

**PEACH:** But, I don't even know if I'm really cut out to be a Sailor Soldier.

The other four girls approach Peach, getting in her face and making her back into a corner.

**SAMUS:** Do you believe in beauty?  
**PEACH:** Kinda...  
**DAISY:** Freedom?  
**PEACH:** Of course.  
**NANA:** Truth?  
**PEACH:** Yes!  
**ZELDA**: Love?

**PEACH** (hesitant): Love? I... don't know. I've never really been in love... (Embarrassed) All I've ever had is silly crushes...  
**ZELDA:** What is wrong with that? A crush is what love is before it's diluted by adult ideas like money, responsibility, realism and... (Cough) other things.

She grabs an issue of "Non Threatening Boys" from Peach's shelf. Mario is on the cover.

**ZELDA:** A crush is love that wishes for a response but deep down does not expect anything in return, it is part of how you learn to love for real!  
**PEACH:** Oh? Well... then... Yes! I do!  
**SAMUS:** Then what's the problem? You're a Sailor Soldier!  
**DAISY:** You can't fool us by pretending not to care, Sister!  
**NANA:** You're a soldier and you're our leader!

Peach smiles all around her, she's slightly shy and embarrassed. She walks over to her desk. Samus gets out the way. Peach looks at the piece of paper.

**PEACH:** I don't think I'm really Sailor Moon. And I wouldn't ever call myself "Leitha." (She writes something on the paper, then turns to the others) But I'll do it! We've got to!

Nana, Samus, Daisy and Zelda smiles all around themselves.

**NANA:** The Dark Kingdom had better watch out.  
**SAMUS:** Because we're coming.  
**PEACH:** (pose) and in the name of the Moon, (pose)  
**NANA:** And Mercury, (pose)  
**ZELDA:** And Venus, (pose)  
**SAMUS:** And Mars, (pose)  
**DAISY:** And Jupiter, (pose)  
**ALL**: We'll punish you! (Pose, pose)  
**TOADSWORTH:** Hey! Keep it down up there!  
**PEACH:** Aww... (Yell) Toadsworth, would you stop embarrassing me in front of my friends? (Spoken) Uh, I'm sorry guys. Anyway, let's go!

They run out of the room. Camera glides over to the paper. It reads the following...

I'm not Sailor Moon...

I am not "Leitha!"

YOU ARE

PRINCESS

PEACH

TOADSTOOL

And she doesn't run away. She never has.


	7. Episode 7 Part One

**EXT: BENCH IN THE PARK**  
it's early evening. PEACH, SAMUS, DAISY and ZELDA sit on the bench, talking.

**ZELDA:** It's time...  
**DAISY:** I'm ready to go.  
**SAMUS:** But, where's Nana?  
**PEACH:** She said she had to go talk to some people...  
**SAMUS:** What about?  
**PEACH:** I don't know... wouldn't say.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 7a: Assault on the Dark Kingdom! Why don't the uniforms have thermal underwear...

By Matthew O'Connell

Pan over to some trees - NANA walks out from behind them, followed by MARIO, POPO, BIYOMON, AGUMON and GOMAMON. Biyomon is a small pink bird, about a foot or two tall. Agumon is a small dinosaur. Gomamon resembles a white seal with blue markings. Mario wears a pair of goggles. Nana has a wool hat on with two long ties hanging down by her ears.

**MARIO:** But why won't you say where you're going, Nana? We still have to find the eighth child, you know!  
**NANA:** I'm sorry... but I can't. Something has come up. But I promise I'm going to be right back, okay? I'm sure I will.  
**BIYOMON**: But do I have to stay here? I want to come with you!  
**NANA:** Sorry Biyomon, but you can't... don't worry, okay? I won't be gone long.  
**BIYOMON** (sad): Okay.  
**NANA:** I'll see you later...  
**MARIO:** Bye... stays safe, okay Nana?  
**POPO:** Yeah. Be careful.  
**NANA:** I will Brother. Bye!

She walks away from them, and heads over at Peach's group. Everyone is glaring at her.

**PEACH** (lecturing, arms crossed): Nana... have you been moonlighting as a Digi-Destined?

Nana gets embarrassed and puts her hand up behind her head. She touches her hat, remembers that she's wearing it, and quickly takes it off her head and hides it behind her back.

**NANA:** Well... things just seemed to happen... you know? (Awkward laugh)  
**PEACH:** I see.  
**SAMUS:** So were you having a last meeting with your sweetheart?  
**NANA** (embarrassed): Wha? What do you mean, sweetheart?  
**SAMUS:** Maybe it's just my fangirl gene, but I thought I detected a little Barison there...  
**DAISY:** Barison? (Leans toward Nana) Oh?  
**ZELDA** (leaning): Oh?  
**PEACH** (leaning): Oh?  
**NANA:** Barison? (Turns red, tries to hide) No... Nothing like that! Really!  
**SAMUS:** Really? Oh well. Could have been worse, it could have been Barbles.  
**DAISY** (changing subject): Anyway... what were you talking about then, Nana?  
**NANA:** Oh... not a lot... I just wanted to say bye to them... um... in case.  
**ZELDA** (startled): In case of?  
**NANA:** You know... in case we... make mistakes.  
**PEACH:** oh...

Everyone looks depressed for a moment.

**ZELDA** (determined): It's not a good idea to talk like that.  
**SAMUS:** Yeah. Nothing's going to happen to us anyway.  
**DAISY:** Yup. I'm already planning for when we get back - I think I might give Mario one last love!  
**PEACH:** All the same... it is pretty high odds we're going up against. Our trip though time showed us what happened last time the Sailor Soldiers and the Dark Kingdom fought. It wasn't pretty.  
**ZELDA:** They had the element of surprise that time though, Peach. This time, we're on the attack! As the saying goes, it's a game of two halves!  
**NANA:** I don't think that phrase is really appropriate for this situation.  
**SAMUS:** Yeah, it's usually 4 quarters in this country.  
**DAISY:** Or 3 periods.  
**ZELDA:** Oh... well, anyway. Now that we're all here...  
**ARTEMIS** (OS): It's time for you to get going.

They all turn to look behind the bench. ARTEMIS looks up at them.

**ALL**: Artemis!  
**ARTEMIS:** I'm here to see you girls off. I'm sorry, but from this point on Luna and I won't be able to help you much.  
**PEACH:** Luna... is she...  
**ARTEMIS:** She's still sleeping at Zelda's apartment, Peach. Don't be discouraged by what she told you... the truth is she's just worried about you.

**CUT TO:**

**LUNA'S DREAM**  
LUNA still runs along.

**VOICES** : I HATE YOU, LUNA! (repeated over and over.)

The voices stop suddenly however as a shadow falls over Luna. She stops, looks up and sees PRINCESS SERENITY standing over her, looking kind as usual.

**LUNA** (relief): Princess Serenity! At last!

Serenity frowns, and glares at Luna.

**SERENITY** (coldly): I hate you, Luna.

**CUT TO:**

**ZELDA'S BEDROOM**  
Luna is lying on the rug but quickly sits up, screaming. She sits, looking around the room and panting to herself.

**LUNA** (panicked): A dream... it was just a dream... The princess isn't mad at me. I'll find her, she'll defeat the Dark Kingdom, and then I'll make it up to Peach and all the others!

She looks at where the brooch and pens should be. They aren't there.

**LUNA** (shocked): The brooch! The pens! But... but... where are they?

Luna dashes around the room, searching under the bed, behind lamps, in the wardrobe, and so on.

**LUNA:** No, they're missing... (Thinks, horrified) Zelda! Artemis! (spoken) On no!

She jumps up to the bed, then to the window ledge, and then out the window.

**CUT TO:**

**THE PARK**  
Artemis is telling the girls his plan.

**ARTEMIS:** You won't be able to use the portal in the dumpster, I'm sure the Dark Kingdom will be watching that now. But there is another way the Sailor Soldiers can use to get to the arctic. Minna! Henshin yo!

Peach, Nana, Samus and Daisy look confused.

**ZELDA:** That means "Everyone! Transform!"  
**PEACH:** Ah...

**CUT TO:**

**BLUE BUBBLY STARFIELD**

A closeup of Nana's hand, holding the pen.

**NANA:** MERCURI POWA, MAKE UP!

The Mercury symbol on the pen glows and shoots toward the screen. Nana moves into the background so we can see all of her. (and yes she's still clothed and not glowing) She TWIRLS and WAVES the pen around her - water comes out of the top of the pen, and sticks to her. Once she's completely covered by water she faces away from the camera and poses with her arms in front of her. The water bursts away from her in many tiny bubbles and she's wearing the Sailor Mercury uniform. She starts to turn - camera zooms in for a closeup of her face as she does so, and then zooms back out as she faces the camera and POSES - legs apart, right hand giving the V (victory) sign.

**CUT TO:**

**RED BUBBLY STARFIELD**  
A closeup of Samus's hand, holding the pen.

**SAMUS:** MARSU POWA, MAKE UP!

Like Nana's, the Mars symbol on the pen spins and shoots toward the camera, before Samus moves into the background so we can see more. She spins and holds the pen above her - flames fall down from the pen that eventually cover all of her. Closeup of her feet - the flames burn out so show a pair of high-heels and the camera quickly moves up her to show she's now dressed as Sailor Mars. It stops at her face and pans back as she POSES - legs apart, left hand on hip, right hand's index finger pointing up in a "you don't wanna do that" kind of pose.

**CUT TO:**

**YELLOW BUBBLY STARFIELD**  
Closeup of Zelda's hand holding her pen.

**ZELDA:** VENUSU POWA, MAKE UP!

Zelda goes though her usual transformation, except this time she's decided to remain clothed and non-glowing. She SPINS and WAVES the pen around her - the top of the pen leaves a trail of stars where it goes. She then POSES, holding the pen over her head. A ribbon of stars twirls down around her, clinging to her body and clothes as they fall.  
Camera does a closeup of her feet, and moves up to her head as she SPINS. As it passes up her, the stars peel off as the camera passes over, revealing she's now dressed as Sailor Venus. Brief close-up of her face before pulling back to show all of her. She poses, with one arm behind her back and the other straight up.

**CUT TO:**

**BLACK BACKGROUND**  
Peach sticks her hand up in front of the camera.

**PEACH:** MOOON PRISIMU POWA, MAKE UP!

Sparkles come along and paint Peach's fingernails for her. How nice.  
Extreme closeup of her face, so all we can see is her eyes. She blinks a few times , then moves away, SPINNING AWAY from the camera. She loops back toward us and we get a closeup of her torso - the brooch glows and so does her dress, before it re-shapes itself into the white suit. Peach spins again and the camera moves up to her head - she crosses her arms in front of it, and her gloves appear. Don't ask me why the nails get painted when she's about to cover them with gloves. Quick pan down to her feet, where her shoes glow and grow to cover her legs up to her knees.  
Quick pan up - the skirt and bows appear. Peach twirls once again and the camera moves up to her face. The tiara appears. Peach moves back into the foreground and does her POSE - hand on hip, other hand giving a salute by her eye.

**CUT TO:**

**PARK**  
MOON-PEACH, MERC-NANA, MARS-SAMUS and VENUS-ZELDA stand off to the left, still in their poses. Daisy is still not transformed. The soldiers break their poses, and turn to her.

**MOON-PEACH:** Come on Daisy, what are you waiting for?

Daisy laughs to herself.

**CUT TO:**

**GREEN BUBBLY STARFIELD**  
Closeup of Daisy's hand holding her pen.

**DAISY:** JUPITA POWA, MAKE UP!

The Jupiter symbol on it spins off toward the camera. Daisy holds the pen above her - she's spinning, glowing and naked. Lightning comes from the top of the pen and crackles all around her. Eventually there is a huge explosion of electricity. We get a closeup of Daisy, panning from her boots to her face - she's now dressed as Sailor Jupiter. Once the camera reaches her face it zooms out again and she POSES in a martial arts stance.

**CUT TO:**

**PARK**  
The other soldiers are pretty shocked.

**MOON-PEACH:** Daisy!  
**JUP-DAISY:** Heh he. I wanted to try that at least one time.  
**MARS-SAMUS:** But... that's private places in a public place! Wasn't it embarrassing?  
**JUP-DAISY:** Yeah, but it doesn't matter. It's not like there was anyone around to see it.

**CUT TO:**

**BUSHES**  
Mario and Popo hide in the bushes, with shocked looks on their faces.

**POPO** (awed): Mario, truly, these are the days of our lives.  
**MARIO** (awed): Yeah...

A trickle of blood runs from each boy's nose.

**CUT TO:**

**PARK**  
Peach looks around at the others, and down at herself.

**MOON-PEACH:** I'm not comfortable with this.  
**MERC-NANA:** Nobody is, it's okay to be nervous...  
**MOON-PEACH:** No, it's not that. It's just that... I'm not Sailor Moon. I'm wearing her costume and I'm using her powers, but I'm not her. So when we do this, I'd prefer it if you called me Peach... Okay?  
**DAISY:** I will, Peach. And you should call me Daisy too.  
**NANA:** I'm Nana.  
**SAMUS:** Samus Aran.  
**ZELDA:** Please, call me Zelda.  
**PEACH:** You too, Zelda? But... you're Sailor Venus...  
**ZELDA** (smile): I told you... I am with you girls here.

Peach smiles, and turns to Artemis.

**PEACH:** We're ready then.  
**ARTEMIS:** Very well.

**CUT TO:**

**PARK A LITTLE LATER**  
All 5 girls stand in a circle holding each other's hands. They have their eyes closed and appear to be concentrating.

**ARTEMIS:** You will use the Sailor Teleport to get to the North Pole. You must combine everyone's power to get there! You must concentrate... if you're not careful, you could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova, and that'd end your trip real quick!

The clouds in the sky part, revealing the moon from behind them.

**ARTEMIS:** SERA TEREPORT!

A wind starts to blow in the circle, whipping everyone's hair and clothing about. A ring of energy flashes around them - large chunks of concrete and turf break away from the pavement and grass and rise into the air. The bench is caught in the energy and pulverized. And the girls fade away.  
The lumps of earth float back to the ground, settling awkwardly in the holes they left.

**ARTEMIS:** Good luck, everyone...  
**LUNA** (OS): ARTEMIS! You idiot!

Artemis turns to see LUNA charging toward him. She dives at him, and he dodges out of the way. Luna lands badly and rolls along the ground for a few feet. She looks up at Artemis.

**LUNA:** You fool! What do you think will happen when they go up against Beryl? Peach will... she will...  
**ARTEMIS:** She will defeat Beryl. I'm sure.

Luna just looks at Artemis, unsure about what to do.

**EXT: SNOWFIELD AT THE NORTH POLE - LATER**  
It's snowing. Closeup of PEACH, SAMUS and ZELDA. They're rubbing their arms.

**PEACH:** It's c-c-c-cold!  
**SAMUS:** Whose job was it to bring the fur coats?  
**ZELDA:** I think it was yours, Samus.  
**SAMUS:** Huh? I thought it was Daisy's.

Pull camera back a little to show DAISY and NANA, who don't seem too bothered by the cold. Nana is working on her computer and has her visor down.

**DAISY:** I thought it was Zelda's.  
**NANA:** Well, did anyone here bring fur coats?  
**PEACH/SAMUS/DAISY/ZELDA:** No.

Nana rolls here eyes.

**NANA:** Then we'd better get going - I'll try to find the co-ordinates of the Dark Kingdom's base!

Daisy looks over, spotting a crystalline tower rising in the distance. SUPERMAN is seen flying into it.

**DAISY:** Hey, I think that's it!  
**SAMUS:** Don't be an idiot! (Points offscreen) THAT'S obviously the base!

Whip pan over to a small village of red, gold and green. Elves mill around, feeding reindeers and cleaning a huge sleigh.

**NANA:** That may be evil, but I don't think it's the right one. (Looks at computer screen.) That's it (points) over there!

Pan over to show a huge crater - a dull purple light comes from the center of the crater, and black smoke rises out of it.

**PEACH:** Alright! Let's get going then! (achoo!)  
**ZELDA:** Bless you.

They start walking toward the crater.

**CUT TO:**

**DARK KINGDOM THRONE ROOM.**  
Beryl's crystal ball shows the girls walking.

**BERYL:** Queen Metallica is nearly awake! We can't let these girls interfere with that.  
**WARIOITE** (appearing): I'll get rid of them.  
**BERYL:** No... You stay here for now Warioite.

Warioite looks disappointed. Beryl calls out to the crowd of youmas - there aren't many left.

**BERYL:** If there is anyone who wishes to defeat the Sailor Soldiers, step forward now.

**VOICE** (female, OS): We will. We are the DD girls!

Five youmas step forward. They're all very scantily clad and have similar "wing shaped" headdresses.

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD**  
The girls march though the blizzard. They pass 5 giant ice cubes, each with a frozen DD Girl inside.

**DAISY:** Wow, those youmas are wearing even less than we are!  
**PEACH:** No wonder they froze to death. (achoo!)  
**SAMUS:** Bless you.

**CUT TO:**

**DARK KINGDOM THRONE ROOM**  
Beryl looks miffed.

**BERYL:** Well that was a giant bust. (to youmas) Is there anyone who won't freeze to death who'd like to kill the Sailor Soldiers?

**VOICE** (female, OS): We will!

Five youmas step forward. They have similar headdresses to the DD girls, but wear more practical t-shirts and jeans.

**CHRIS:** We are the SFWC girls!  
**SHEANA:** We specialize in Violence,  
**JENNY:** Angst,  
**FIONA:** Torture,  
**MEL:** and Death!  
**CHRIS:** We will kill the Sailor Soldiers, and then we will write stories about it and get rave reviews at the Groening Fanworks Central. (tacky plug - .com)  
**JENNY:** Except for me. My story will be really bad and nobody will want to read it, it'll suck.  
**MEL:** I suck all the time anyway...  
**SHEANA:** Quiet you.

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD**  
The soldiers are still marching. Nana stops in her tracks.

**NANA:** I'm getting a huge energy reading up ahead!

The snowstorm suddenly stops.

**SAMUS:** Huh? What the?  
**PEACH:** Something's coming! Get ready!

Everyone falls into a ready pose. Peach looks around, and spots something on the horizon. TUXEDO KAMEN appears - he's hanging from something by his wrists. His clothes are ragged and he looks pretty beaten, only half-conscious.

**KAMEN** (weakly): Help me... Sailor Moon...  
**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen!

Peach starts to run forward. But Samus garbs her scarf, pulling her back.

**SAMUS:** Don't be stupid!  
**DAISY:** Don't you think this could be a trap?  
**PEACH:** but he's... (looks closely) No, you're right Daisy.

Nana uses her computer. Her visor shows an image of CHRIS.

**NANA:** He's an illusion created by a youma.  
**CHRIS:** You're right. In this snowfield, you cannot defeat us Sailor Fool!  
**SAMUS** (running forward): Yeah? Well I know what works really well against snow and ice! FIRE...

The illusion of TUXEDO KAMEN fades away, to be replaced by one of SOLID SNAKE.

**SAMUS:** SOU... huh? Snake?

Samus is distracted, and the youmas take advantage - the ice underneath her breaks as dozens of black coil tentacles rip out of the ground and wrap themselves around her arms and legs. She is lifted into the air by 5 pillars of coils.  
All the girls gasp. Samus looks around anxiously.

**PEACH:** Samus!

CHRIS, SHEANA, JENNY, MEL and FIONA break out from under the ice. They hold the ends of the coils, holding Samus at a distance. Peacha goes for her tiara.

**PEACH:** MOOON TIARA...  
**DAISY:** SUPREIM...  
**ZELDA:** CRESCENTO...

The five SFWC girls move in close to Daisy.

**NANA:** Don't shoot! They're too close to her!  
**DAISY:** Damn!  
**SAMUS:** Don't worry about me, just go and defeat Beryl! I'll be fine!  
**BERYL** (OS): SFWC Girls! Use Thunder Shock!

The youmas start to electrocute Samus. She screams.

**PEACH:** SAMUS!  
**SAMUS** (to youmas): You think coming up here keeps you safe? You'll regret coming anywhere near me! FIRE... SOUL!

Samus's arms are pinned to her side, so when flames come out of Samus's hands, they become a sphere of fire centered around her. The sphere stays still for a moment, before it rapidly explodes outwards! Chris, Jenny, Mel and Fiona manage to get away. Sheana is instantly incinerated. The explosion knocks the other sailors to their knees, and they have to shield themselves against the blast.

The blast dies down. Peach looks up... there is a crater where the huge fireball had been, but a single pillar of ice stands in the center. The pillar is covered in spikes.  
Samus is trapped halfway inside the pillar, several feet from the ground. She looks severely battered, and is near death.

**PEACH:** SAMUS!  
**NANA/DAISY/ZELDA:** SAMUS!

They all scramble to their feet and run over to the pillar. Peach starts trying to climb up to Samus

**PEACH:** Hang on Samus, we'll get you out of there!  
**SAMUS:** Don't worry, Peach... you have to go fight Beryl...  
**PEACH:** What! We won't leave you!  
**SAMUS:** Damn it Peach... let me be selfless... for once...  
**PEACH:** NO!  
**SAMUS:** I'll never admit I liked you Peach, but it's been fun...

Shot of Peach's disbelieving face. She gasps and starts to cry.

**SAMUS:** I didn't like you because you're a do-gooder, and I always did bad... but you do that well, Peach... go do good now...

Her eyes close, and she goes limp.

**PEACH:** SAMUS! NO! DON'T DIE! **SAMUS!**

FADE OUT


	8. Episode 7 Part Two

**THE PILLAR, SOMETIME LATER**  
Peach kneels by the pillar, still crying. Zelda walks up to her.

**ZELDA:** Peach... we need to go, they'll be back soon.  
**PEACH:** Why... why Samus? She's just a little girl, and now... heck, I'm... WE'RE all just kids... what are we thinking, we can't win...  
**ZELDA:** Do NOT talk like that, Peach!  
**DAISY:** Yeah! We have to get the Dark Kingdom even more now! It was Samus's last wish!  
**PEACH:** But...

The ground under Peach starts to glow red. Zelda looks at her in alarm.

**PEACH** (oblivious): But... I don't like the way this is going...  
**ZELDA:** Sailor Moon! Nigero!

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 7b: Suddenly we're in a darkfic! Couldn't you have warned us in advance?

by Matthew O'Connell

Zelda charges at Peach, and pushes her out of the way - as she does so a huge mass of coils bursts out of the ground and wraps itself around Zelda.

**ZELDA** (panicking): Waaa~!! Tsu, tsumakaeta yo! Tasukete!!

The coils start electrocuting her. She screams in pain.

**PEACH/DAISY/NANA:** Zelda!  
**ZELDA** (panicked): Baka!! Tobe, tobe!!  
**NANA:** We can't...  
**ZELDA** (slightly less panicked): I said go! If you give up now, I'll never forgive you! Don't dare betray my trust!  
**PEACH:** But Zel... urk!

She's interrupted by Daisy picking up Peach and bundling her over her shoulder. Daisy also grabs Nana and tucks her under one arm, then she RUNS!  
The coils drag Zelda down into the hole in the ice.

**CUT TO:**

**UNDER THE ICE**  
Chris, Mel, Fiona and Jenny hold Zelda under here.

**CHRIS:** We've got you now, you little brat! I've wanted to do this for a while, ever since that day in England! My name is Christina Nordlander. Minako killed my father and YOU played as Sailor V. Prepare to die.

She shocks Zelda even harder. Zelda screams louder, and then seems to get a little composition despite the pain. She holds up her index finger and presses it against Chris' forehead.

**ZELDA:** CRESCENTO...  
**CHRIS:** Huh? Oh sh*t...  
**ZELDA:** BEAM!

The attack completely obliterates Chris. The other 3 youmas burst away.

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD**  
Bright light shines out of the hole where Zelda was taken and a gigantic pillar of ice rises from it. Zelda is in the center of the ice, wrapped in the branches of a tree. She's already dead.

**CUT TO:**

**SOME DISTANCE AWAY**  
Daisy is still running toward the Dark Kingdom's base. Peach kicks with her legs.

**PEACH:** Put me down, Daisy! Zelda's...

She kicks again, and Daisy drops her. Peach rolls on the snow, and gets up.

**PEACH:** ZELDA!  
**DAISY:** Peach, she told us to run! We have to go!  
**PEACH:** But... Zelda's dead! Damnit, when did this become a snuff fic? She was the only actual Sailor Soldier we had as well! If she's dead... what chance do we have?  
**DAISY:** None at all while we stand here and let them catch us!

Peach looks at the ground.

**PEACH:** You're... you're right. We'd better go.  
**DAISY:** Yeah.  
**NANA:** Wait! We're going about this wrong.  
**PEACH:** Huh? What do you mean, Nana? (achoo!)  
**NANA:** Bless you. I mean, we need a strategy if we're going to succeed. (to Daisy) Daisy, from this point on your more powerful magic is more important. (to Peach) Peach, you're the only one who can stop Beryl. I'll stay here and defeat those youmas, or at least distract them.  
**DAISY:** Nana...  
**PEACH:** Nana! No! I can't leave you here to die!  
**NANA:** I won't die, silly! (wink) I've got a plan. Trust me, Peach.  
**PEACH:** Nana...

**MONTAGE**  
Peach and Daisy say bye and leave Nana in a series of still pictures.

Peach holds Nana's hand and talks to her.  
Daisy leads Peach away from Nana.  
Nana smiles as she watches them go.  
They're quite far away in the distance...

**CUT TO:**

**NANA**  
She gets out the computer.

**NANA:** Okay. Let's do this.

She touches her earring, and the visor lowers.

**CUT TO:**

**VISOR VIEW**  
Through the visor we can see the remaining 3 SFWC girls flying toward Nana.

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD**  
Nana works on her computer.

**NANA:** You think you're ganging up on the small, weak defenseless one? If you mistake a lack of raw power for weakness, you're in for a shock.  
**NANA** (thinking): This computer interfaces with parts of my uniform, and can detect things no other computer in the world could... it **must** have some powerful magical components. Its taken months to get this far, but I think I've figured out how to tap them...  
**NANA:** You think you're the only ones who can use illusions, traps and tricks? Well, prepare yourselves!

She hits the ENTER key on her keyboard. Closeup of the screen - a window opens, and the following scrolls though it.

**RT5611 DETECT  
EMERGENCY  
DEFENCE  
{exit/(disable)/}  
initializing mercury[Tera].BIN  
initializing mercury[Tera].JY  
Commencing KPRO.697  
{ANNIHILATE}...............**

SYSTEM DEFENCE.......

.

.

.

INITIALISED

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF SFWC GIRLS**  
They fly toward Nana with predatory grins on their faces.

**CUT TO:**

**NANA**  
The computer floats out of Nana's hands, and hovers in the air in front of her. A wind starts to blow.

**NANA** (whisper): It's working... the program's working...

The computer and Nana float into the air. Even Nana seems a little shocked. A transparent red forcefield sphere appears around her. It's about 10 feet in diameter, and seems to be made up of hundreds of overlapping red squares.

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF SFWC GIRLS**  
Their sadistic grins become looks of fear, as they try to pull up and avoid smashing into the forcefield. They manage it, but only just.

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE FORCEFIELD**  
Nana looks pretty happy about this.

**NANA:** I can't believe it's really working.

She points directly to about a dozen points on the surface of the shield. Beams of light shoot from the computer to where she points on the forcefield, and a metal frame builds itself on the inside of the field. Blue gun emplacements appear where Nana pointed - they start out wire-frame, before they are filled in and become solid.  
Nana looks around and up, seeing Mel flying above her. She points at Mel, and taps on the computer keyboard with her other hand.

**NANA** (to computer): Target this one! Ready... SHABON SPRAYY!

She fires the water into the top gun emplacement, which condenses the water into a thick arrow of ice and fires it at Mel. It hits, and Mel falls to the ground, crashing somewhere in the distance.  
Nana seems enthused by this.

**NANA** (excited): Now, target the remaining two!

She looks up and gasps. Fiona and Jenny are already charging her! They fire fireballs and lightning bolts, but Nana holds out the palms of her hands. The shield intensifies where she points her arms to, and deflects the attacks.

**NANA:** Yes!

Fiona and Jenny fly past Nana. She turns to face them, and as she turns so does the entire frame she's floating inside.

**NANA:** SHABON SPRAYY!

She fires the water at ALL of the cannons - they suck it in and simultaneously fire a dozen ice arrows at the two youmas. Sheana and Jenny try to flee from them but the ice arrows act like homing missiles, following them around.

**CUT TO:**

**FURTHER AWAY**  
Peach and Daisy watch the fight from a hill some distance away. They're awed.

**PEACH:** Wow... wasn't she the one who was always complaining about not being powerful enough?  
**DAISY:** Yeah... (turns) come on!

Daisy drags Peach over the hill.

**CUT TO:**

**BACK AT THE BATTLE**  
Jenny and Fiona eventually manage to lose the arrows, and fly up next to each other.

**JENNY:** Did you notice, behind her?  
**FIONA:** Yes. You distract her, I'll get inside.

Jenny flies in front of Nana, swooping around and trying to be a nuisance. Nana points at her.

**NANA:** Computer, target that youma...

As Nana is talking, Fiona swoops down directly behind her. There is a weak point in Nana's forcefield directly behind her. Fiona squeezes though it, wraps some coils around Nana and starts electrocuting her! Nana screams loudly, and her forcefield drops - Jenny takes the chance, charges up next to Nana and starts electrocuting her too!

**NANA:** AAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
**FIONA:** DIE!

Despite the pain, Nana manages to look at Fiona, and gives her a WICKED GRIN.

**NANA:** You've fallen into my trap...  
**FIONA:** Huh?

The forcefield comes back on, this time with no weak points. Fiona and Jenny look around, confused, but Allison just looks down. The two youmas follow her gaze... to see the REAL NANA rise up from under the snow, holding her computer.

**REAL-NANA:** I hope you enjoyed electrocuting that illusion my computer made!  
**FAKE-NANA** (smile at Jenny): Sorry guys...

The illusionary Nana wavers, and fades away into static.

**NANA:** I warned you that you weren't the only ones using illusions!

She sticks her tongue out at them and gives them the V (victory) sign.

**NANA** (typing): Computer! Target the two youmas inside the forcefield!

The guns on the forcefield turn to point inside it.

**FIONA:** Oh no...

The two youmas start flying into the forcefield, trying to find a way out, but they keep bouncing off.

**NANA:** SHABON SPRAYY!

Nana fires a huge burst of fog at the sphere - it surrounds the sphere, before the gun emplacements start sucking it in and condensing it into ice. Then, they fire...

Nana watches the fog clear from around the forcefield. A ball of ice is contained within it, with Jenny and Fiona frozen inside. Nana presses the DELETE key on her keyboard and the forcefield and framework break down into their individual components and fall away, dropping the ball of ice to the ground.

She jumps for joy.

**NANA** (absolutely overjoyed): Who defeated three youmas? I'll tell you who - the Sailor Soldier whose only power is making FOG, Sailor Mercury, that's who! (jumps again) WOOHOO!

A mass of coils come out of nowhere, wrapping themselves around Nana. They immediately start shocking her.

**NANA:** AAALLAAAAAAAAGHHHHH! What... who...

Mel is holding the end of the coils! She's also holding her side where the ice hit her.

**MEL:** That's it! No more Ms Nice Youma!  
**NANA:** I guess I... miscalculated... IIAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHH!

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH AND DAISY**  
Daisy is pulling Peach along by the hand when they hear Nana's screams. Peach falls to the ground, and Daisy turns to look at her.

**PEACH:** Those screams... they mean...  
**DAISY:** Nana...  
**PEACH:** Daisy... Nana's dead!

**CUT TO:**

**NANA**  
Nana's dead body lies on the snow. Mel slowly walks away from it, headed for the last 2 soldiers.  
BIYOMON flaps up to Nana's body.

**BIYOMON**: Nana, you have to come quick! ShinleotranceAIBOmechateraskydramon is attacking The Mushroom Kingdom! (looks at Nana) Uh, I'll come back... (flies away)

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH**  
Peach is still shocked.

**PEACH:** But she was even younger than me, Daisy. She was a kid... half your or Zelda's age.  
**DAISY:** But just as intelligent as someone double my age. She knew exactly what could happen to her if she came with us, but she didn't care. All she cared about was what happened to you.  
**PEACH:** Daisy...

Daisy turns away from Peach.

**DAISY:** Before we came over to give you your brooch, Nana mentioned that this was very risky, and it could kill us. Back then we decided that our only role was to protect you. Zelda and I tried to keep Nana and Samus from coming, but they insisted even though it was dangerous.  
**PEACH:** Why? Why did you have to come?

Daisy turns to face Peach.

**DAISY:** Because we all remembered now that the Sailor Soldiers were the guardians of the Moon Princess. And even if we're not the right soldiers and you're not the right princess, we all agreed this was something we had to do... (kneels, so her face is level with Peach's) Princess.  
**PEACH:** Stop that Daisy! I'm the princess! (worried) Just... just please turn around and go home, before something else happens, okay? I'll defeat the Dark Kingdom by myself.  
**DAISY:** I wouldn't be much of a guardian if ran away now. Peach, you are the only one who can defeat Sin... daah, I mean Beryl. You need to save your strength for her.  
**PEACH:** But, but you're not a guardian, because I'm a REAL princess, not a moon princess!  
**DAISY** (smile): Well if you don't like guardian, how about babysitter? Your parents do pay me pretty well, it would be irresponsible of me to abandon you now.

Peach glares at Daisy.

**PEACH:** Now you're just being silly...

Daisy suddenly looks alarmed, and looks up. Mel is circling above them.

**DAISY:** Wait! They're here!  
**PEACH:** What?

Peach runs up to Daisy.

**DAISY:** Stay behind me, Peach!

She looks up at Mel, who starts to dive toward Daisy.

**DAISY:** SUPREIM...

Daisy's fists and tiara start to crackle with electricity, but she never releases it - Mel just dives straight past Daisy and burrows under the ice.

**PEACH:** Huh?  
**DAISY:** What was that about?

She's answered when a second later the ice under Daisy rises into a huge hill. Daisy balances on the top of the hill, until the top of the hill opens up like some huge monster's mouth and it swallows her.

**PEACH:** DAISY!

She runs up to the hill and starts trying to dig into it with her hands.

**CUT TO:**

**INSIDE THE HILL**  
Mel has Daisy trapped in her coils, and is electrocuting her. Daisy screams.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE**  
Peach tries to dig into the mountain, but isn't making much progress.

**PEACH** (shouting): Daisy!  
**WARIOITE** (OS): Feeling alone? Isolated?

Peach looks up, and sees WARIOITE floating in the distance.

**WARIOITE:** If it wasn't for you, they'd still be alive, you know.  
**PEACH:** but...  
**WARIOITE:** They would have followed you into the jaws of death. And that's exactly where you took 'em.  
**PEACH:** but I...  
**WARIOITE:** I wonder what they will say to you in the afterlife after I kill you?

Shot of Peach's terrified face. She imagines Nana, Samus and Zelda standing in front of her.

**GHOST-NANA** (disappointed): I can't believe you wasted all that time I bought you.  
**GHOST-ZELDA** (angry): And after I was so sure you could do it? You've really betrayed me, Peach!  
**GHOST-SAMUS** (dismissive): Hmph. I should have known she wouldn't be able to hack it.  
**PEACH:** but I didn't mean... I never thought it could end this way...

The ghosts disappear. Warioite walks toward Peach.

**WARIOITE:** And all this trouble for one little plot device.

Peach puts her hand on the Ginzoushou.

**WARIOITE:** I've told the youma not to kill your friend. Give me the Ginzoushou, and we'll let both of you live.  
**PEACH:** You promise?  
**WARIOITE:** I promise.

**CUT TO:**

**UNDER THE HILL**  
Mel is still shocking Daisy. But Daisy has both hands free.

**DAISY:** You think you can beat me using lightning? You've got some guts!

Daisy throws a punch, smacking Mel right in the face. She puts her other hand at Mel's throat.

**DAISY:** Let's see how you like your own medicine! SUPREIM THUNDA!

Daisy releases a LOT of electricity into Mel.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE**  
Peach puts her hand on the Ginzoushou again, and starts to take it off the Moon Wand... but the hill behind her starts cracking with electricity.

**PEACH:** What the...  
**WARIOITE:** Huh?

Storm clouds gather over the top of the hill. After a moment a gigantic bolt of lightning strikes the top of the hill, blowing it up. Peach cowers and shields her head with her arms as snow and ice fly past her. When the blast clears, Peach looks up...

Another pillar of ice is there - Mel is completely frozen into the base of the pillar. Daisy is frozen halfway into the pillar - she can see Peach and Warioite from where she is. Peach gasps.

**PEACH:** Daisy... no...  
**WARIOITE:** You see? She must have struggled too hard. It's just you left now. Don't fight like she did - give me the Ginzoushou and I will spare you.

Peach just stares at Daisy.

**DAISY** (weakly): get 'im, Peach...

She closes her eyes and goes limp. Peach can just gasp and gape at her. Peach looks down at the Ginzoushou in her hands, then over at Warioite.

**PEACH** (glaring): Not a chance.

She places the Ginzoushou back on the wand. WARIOITE is unimpressed.

**WARIOITE:** Alright, you asked for it then. I'll just take that crystal from you now!

He draws his cape around him, and when he opens it up again he has a blade of red energy in each hand. He throws one blade at Peach - she leaps out of the way.

**WARIOITE:** Sit still, Sailor brat!

He throws the second blade, but Peach stands her ground this time, holding the Moon Wand up. The Ginzoushou starts to glow, and as the blade comes near Peach she hits it with the Moon Wand.  
The energy blade is reflected back toward Warioite - he tries to draw his cape around him, but it passes through his cape and into him.

**WARIOITE:** My own attack... Mamma Mia!

He fades away. Peach falls to her knees, and looks up at Daisy's body.

FADE OUT

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD, LATER**  
Some distance away from Daisy's pillar. Peach sits on the snow, her head resting on her knees. She's crying.

**PEACH:** Samus... Zelda... Nana... Dasiy... I didn't mean for this to happen... this has got to be just a dream... a hallucination caused by a fever. If I call for mom, she'll come wake me... I'll compare test notes with Nana at school, Samus will make fun of me, Daisy will stop her... Zelda will... aaah... aaah... aaah... achoo! Great. I've got a cold too. (sniff)  
**NANA **(OS): Bless you.  
**PEACH:** Huh?

Peach lifts her head, and looks over her shoulder. Closeup of GHOST-NANA and GHOST-ZELDA

**GHOST-NANA:** Don't get discouraged, you need to focus!  
**GHOST-ZELDA:** You only lose when you give up.

Closeup of GHOST-DAISY and GHOST-SAMUS

**GHOST-DAISY:** Don't worry. We'll be protecting you.  
**GHOST-SAMUS** (frowning, arms crossed): If you can get me punished for stealing a collection plate, you can damn well punish these creeps for killing us and trying to conquer the galaxy.  
**GHOST-DAISY** (scolding): Samus, I thought we were going to be nice...  
**GHOST-SAMUS:** Ah, so I'm not nice. (smiles at Peach)

Peach looks at the four ghosts, and gets to her feet.

**PEACH:** Everyone... (sniff) you're here...  
**GHOST-DAISY:** I told you before...  
**GHOST-ZELDA:** We're going to be with you here. We're your guardians.  
**GHOST-NANA:** Why the surprise, Peach?  
**PEACH:** I don't know... (nervous) You seem somewhat happy for a bunch of dead people...  
**GHOST-NANA:** Of course. We can't afford to send you on a guilt trip now.  
**GHOST-SAMUS:** We're saving that for after the Dark Kingdom's gone!  
**GHOST-DAISY** (raising fist): Samus...  
**GHOST-SAMUS:** Alright alright, it was just a joke! (to Peach) Come on. We need to get going!  
**GHOST-ZELDA:** Remember what they say, Princess Peach! "Old soldiers never die, they just flake away."  
**GHOST-NANA:** Ah... I don't think that's the right phrase, Zelda.  
**GHOST-ZELDA:** Oh? Sorry...  
**GHOST-SAMUS:** Though given who's saying it, flake might be appropriate.  
**GHOST-ZELDA:** Thank you, Samus. (thinks for a moment, realization) HEY!

They fade away. Peach looks happy.

**PEACH:** Everyone... thank you. I'll do my best!

She turns and runs across the ice toward the crater. Camera follows her for several seconds, as the crater walls loom up in front of her...


	9. Episode 8 Part One

**EXT: OUTSIDE CRATER, LATER**  
PEACH stands at the foot of the crater, and looks up at it.

**PEACH:** Okay, how am I gonna get in here? I guess I better start climbing...

Peach walks over to a red flag in the wall, and starts to climb up to another red flag that's on a ledge above her. Once she gets to the ledge she sits and mashes the Square button until she's warmed herself up again, and then walks up to another red flag and starts climbing again.

**CUT TO:**

**LEDGE**  
Peach pulls herself up over the edge, and sits panting on the ledge.

**PEACH:** Man, this is hard work... I wish there was an easier way...

Her wish is granted when a ball of pink energy forms around her.

**PEACH:** Huh? WHAT THE? Agh!

The ball carries Peach through the crater wall.

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 8a : A final fight clone? I'd rather play Another Story.

by Matthew O'Connell

**CUT TO:**

**DARK KINGDOM THRONE ROOM**  
Peach's ball floats through the nearly empty throne room. All the youmas are gone and only Beryl remains. She sits on her throne, half shrouded in shadows.  
The ball deposits Peach a dozen meters from Beryl's throne.

**BERYL:** Welcome, Sailor Moon. I must congratulate you on finally getting here. I am Queen Beryl of The Dark Kingdom.  
**PEACH** (looking at her oddly, gets up): You're Queen Beryl? You brought me here?  
**BERYL:** Correct.  
**PEACH** (whistle): Well, I guess that it explains it then...  
**BERYL** (confused, eyebrow raises): Explains what?  
**PEACH:** Well, you just transported me past a grueling climb and an army of monsters that would definitely have weakened me to the point of exhaustion, at least! Never mind your maze-like network of caverns that would have taken me hours to negotiate...  
**BERYL:** So?  
**PEACH:** Well, I'd always wondered where those stupid, stupid youmas were getting it from.

Beryl goes red, and her face twitches.

**BERYL:** IMPUDENCE!  
**PEACH:** Hey, don't worry about it too much, at least you're consistent...  
**BERYL:** Grr! I was going to offer to let you live in exchange for the Ginzoushou, but now you can forget it! Endymion! Kill her and take the Silver Plot Device!

The shadows move, illuminating the part of Beryl that was in darkness. PRINCE ENDYMION (AKA MAMORU and TUXEDO KAMEN, but right now he's dressed in Endymion's armor) kneels beside Beryl, kissing her hand.

**PEACH:** TUXEDO KAMEN!

Endymion stands.

**ENDYMION:** I obey, my queen.

He draws his sword, and takes a step toward Peach.

**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen? What are you doing...

He leaps, and slashes at her with the sword. She quickly jumps out of the way, but lands badly and falls over backwards.

**PEACH** (stunned): Tuxedo Kamen...  
**ENDYMION:** Who is Tuxedo Kamen? I am Prince Endymion of the Dark Kingdom. (raises sword) HA!

He stabs down at her repeatedly. She rolls out of the way and tries to rise, pulling out the Moon Wand and spinning it.

**PEACH:** You're... you're brainwashed! That must be it! Don't worry, Tuxedo Kamen, I'll save you! MOOON HEALINGGU ESCALATION!

Peach holds out the wand, and rays of light start shooting toward Endymion. But they don't seem to have any effect. He just stares blankly at Peach.

**BERYL** (gloating): Dark energy now runs in Prince Endymion's veins. You will not be able to destroy it, little girl! You may have the silver crystal, but you will never be able to use it fully!  
**PEACH:** No... (tries harder) I will save Tuxedo Kamen!  
**BERYL:** Kill her, Endymion!

Endymion leaps again.

**ENDYMION:** DIE!  
**PEACH:** Aaagh!

She can't get out of the way quickly enough. Endymion cuts her arm, and Peach falls over as she tries to dodge. She lies on the ground.

**ENDYMION:** Sailor Moon...

He takes out a black rose. Peach looks up at him.

**ENDYMION** (coldly): Die.

He throws the rose at her. As it reaches Peach it breaks apart into dozens of coils that try to wrap themselves around her, but Peach manages to jump out of their way at the last minute and they grab onto nothing.

**PEACH:** I KNOW I can heal you! Ginzoushou, please help me this time! MOOON HEALINGGU ESCALATION!  
**BERYL:** I've already told you, that is futile!

Peach shoots her rays toward Endymion anyway. Shot of Peach, who seems to be straining herself here. Shot of Endymion... at first he looks at her as blankly as before, but after a moment his features soften a little, and his expression changes to a more peaceful one.

**ENDYMION** (softly): Sailor... Moon...  
**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen? (to self) It's working!  
**ENDYMION** (slowly stepping forward : Sailor Moon... I... I...

Peach stops using her attack. Endymion walks right up to her.

**PEACH** (hopeful): Yes?  
**ENDYMION:** I think you're a fool.

**CUT TO:**

**WARIO'S LIVING ROOM**  
WARIO sits on the couch. She glares at the camera.

**WARIO:** It seems even she can be an idiot.

**CUT TO:**

**THRONE ROOM**  
Endymion reaches out and grabs Peach's neck in one hand. He lifts her off the ground. She drops the Moon Wand in surprise.

**PEACH** (struggling): No! Tuxedo Kamen... no! Please...  
**ENDYMION:** I am not Tuxedo Kamen! I am Endymion, future King of the Dark Kingdom. DIE, Sailor Moon!

He shocks her very heavily. Peach SCREAMS like a blonde in a 50's alien movie. Several seconds of this pass.

**BERYL:** There is no escape for you, Sailor Moon, and you cannot overwhelm the Dark Kingdom with your power level. Soon, our Queen Metallica will be revived

Peach is still screaming.

**BERYL:** That is enough, Endymion. She's starting to blow my eardrums.  
**ENDYMION** (yelling): WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU FOR THE SCREAMS!  
**BERYL:** I SAID KNOCK IT OFF!  
**ENDYMION:** OH.

He drops Peach, who crumples into a heap on the floor. Endymion then kicks her HARD in the stomach, sending her flying several feet, where she lands near the Moon Wand. The only sound is Peach's moans and groans.

**BERYL:** Now, Prince Endymion. You see Sailor Moon's lovely little head? REMOVE IT!

Endymion nods. Peach tries to stretch for the Moon Wand, but she can't reach it.

**BERYL:** That will do you no good. Prepare to rejoin your friends.

Peach has a vision of Nana, Samus, Daisy and Zelda lying dead in the ice.

**PEACH:** I promised them...

Endymion puts on a pair of sunglasses, and raises his sword above her.

**ENDYMION** (emotionless): Goodbye, Sailor Moon.  
**PEACH** (angry): My name... is PEACH!

Acting almost completely out of instinct, Peach flips up and jumps out of the swords way. She places a hand on Endymion's shoulder (as he goes down and she goes up) and vaults off it, jumping over his shoulder and behind him. As she does so she reaches for her forehead with her other hand...

A bewildered Endymion tries to turn and see where she's gone, but all he sees is the Moon Tiara spinning toward him as Peach throws it.

The tiara smashes into his chest, and hurts him BADLY. It stays spinning there for several seconds, almost digging into him, while a surprised-looking Endymion looks down at it. Peach looks slightly horrified at what she's just done.

Endymion drops to the floor, seemingly unconscious. The tiara stops spinning and clatters to the ground. Peach gasps and rushes over to him, kneeling beside him.

**PEACH:** No! I'm meant to be healing him, not trying to kill him! Whoops...

Endymion's eyes jerk open. He makes a guttural roar, and rises to his feet. He's REALLY PISSED OFF. Peach kneels in front of him.

**ENDYMION:** You...  
**PEACH** (upset): Stop...  
**ENDYMION:** Sailor Moon...  
**PEACH:** I won't kill you, and I can't heal you... all I can do is ask you, please remember who you are! Please stop!

Endymion just roars, and raises his sword.

**PEACH** (screaming): For Serenity's sake, STOP!

**FADE TO BLACK **

**We interrupt this program for little something**

**MC BALLYHOO:** And what just grinds my gears is I can't find where Tabuu is. This MC Ballyhoo and my friend, Big Top, are signing off. Thanks for watching.

**And now back to our story**

**AND FADE BACK IN...**  
Peach and Endymion now stand in a pillar of light. Endymion still has his sword raised.

**ENDYMION** (confused): P-princess Serenity...  
**PEACH:** Please try to remember. She was your love, long ago, Serenity from the Moon Kingdom! Maybe I had a crush on you once... but you two, you were in love!  
**ENDYMION** (confused): She was... (Rallies, glares at Peach) No, Lies! Get ready to die!  
**PEACH:** an evil force has possessed you, you're not thinking like yourself! But I'm sure your love for her will be the one thing that the dark force would not be able to extinguish! Please remember your love, remember who you are, for Serenity's sake! I'm sure that she's waiting for you somewhere...

Endymion twitches.

**ENDYMION:** No... I am a Prince of the Dark Kingdom! I have never heard of any Princess Serenity!  
**PEACH:** But... I never said she was a Princess.

Endymion twitches again. Peach smiles up at him.

**ENDYMION:** But... how... did I...  
**PEACH:** I will not fight you.

She reaches her palms out to him. The Ginzoushou is on them. He lowers his sword and looks at it.

**ENDYMION:** After all that... you would give the Ginzoushou to me?  
**PEACH:** I think you're starting to see the truth.

Zoom in close to Peach's hand as Endymion reaches out and touches the crystal. A bright light creeps over his fingertips, and quickly spreads over his entire body.

Beryl has to shield her eyes from the light.

**BERYL:** What the...

The light gets so bright that we...

**FADE TO WHITE**

**CUT TO:**

**MONTAGE**  
Endymion talks to SERENITY at the Moon Kingdom balcony.  
They meet in the flower field.  
They kiss under the fireworks.

**CUT TO:**

**THE THRONE ROOM**  
Endymion falls to the ground. Peach kneels over him, and he rises a little.

**ENDYMION:** Sailor Moon... thank you.  
**PEACH:** You, you remember?  
**ENDYMION:** Yes... you reminded me...  
**PEACH** (cheer): The plot device does it again! Woohoo!  
**ENDYMION:** You really think she's waiting for me?  
**PEACH:** I'm sure of it... that or she's obsessing over someone who works in an arcade, hm, maybe you should hurry... By the way, you're not Tuxedo Mario.

**CUT TO:**

**BERYL**  
Beryl scowls at them, and creates a black crystal out of thin air. It's about 2 feet long and very sharp...

**BERYL:** No! I will not lose Prince Endymion again! You'll pay for this!

She lifts up the crystal, and throws it directly at them. Endymion looks over his shoulder, and sees it.

**ENDYMION:** Look out!  
**PEACH:** Huh?

Endymion whips out a rose, and throws it at the crystal. The rose goes directly through the entire length of the crystal, splitting it into dozens of much smaller shards. The rose then continues on to Beryl - the stem sticks in to her, in-between her shoulderblades. The crystal shards keep flying toward Endymion and Peach. Endymion throws himself over Peach, to shield her from them. Most of the shards fly harmlessly over them, but a few hit Endymion!

**CUT TO:**

**CLOSEUP OF PEACH AND ENDYMION**  
Peach gasps as Endymion grimaces in pain!

**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen!

**CUT TO:**

**BERYL**  
Beryl reels from Endymion's attack. The rose is still stuck in her chest.

**BERYL:** Why Endymion... why? If you had married me, you would have been King of the solar system... the universe...

Cracks start to spread across her skin from where the rose has hit her. She falls to her knees.

**BERYL:** You, you... you won't get away with this! I'll have my revenge, Sailor Moon!

She passes through the floor, and disappears. Peach gets out from Endymion, who doesn't look too good. He rolls over and lies on the ground, and she kneels by his head.

**PEACH:** Tuxedo Kamen! Are you alright, Tuxedo Kamen!?  
**ENDYMION:** Hurry... you must get out of here...  
**PEACH:** Not without you, I can't!

She lifts his shoulders, and starts to drag him along the ground toward the exit.

**ENDYMION:** You need to get out, Sailor Moon...  
**PEACH** (drag, drag): I told you... I'm called Peach, Tuxedo Kamen.  
**ENDYMION:** Oh? My name... I'm Mamoru, Princess Peach.  
**PEACH** (drag, drag): That's a nice name, Mamoru. (To self) That's it keep him talking Pea... (to Endymion/Mamoru) Don't worry, Mamoru. We'll get out of here after this, and we'll go looking for Serenity...

She looks at his face. His eyes have closed. Peach drops his shoulders.

**PEACH:** Mamoru! Mamoru! Don't give up.  
**MAMORU** (opens eyes): Peach... go... I'm...  
**PEACH:** No! We're going to get out of here! We'll beat Beryl, and go find Serenity, and, and. (blurts it out) if it doesn't work out with her you can marry me in eight years!

Mamoru grins.

**MAMORU:** I wish I could humor you... but I don't think I'll be around in eight years...  
**PEACH** (sad): But I need you... I can't defeat Beryl by myself.  
**MAMORU:** I'm sure you can...  
**PEACH:** But how? I can't use the Ginzoushou...  
**MAMORU:** But you don't know the true secret behind using the Ginzoushou...  
**PEACH:** The true secret?  
**MAMORU:** The Ginzoushou is the ultimate plot device... and like any good plot device... it will never work like it should... (smile at Lisa) until you really need it...

He closes his eyes and goes limp.

**PEACH** (distraught): Come on, Mamoru! I didn't save you so that you could die! MAMORU!

**CUT TO:**

**METALLICA'S CHAMBER**  
Beryl stumbles up the thin path leading to the place where Queen Metallica is sealed. Queen Metallica best resembles a strange black mist held within an organic bubble. A computer monitor is next to the bubble, but we can't see what's on it.

**BERYL** (weak): Queen Metallica... I beg of you... give me the power, the power to crush that loathsome child, her and her little dog, too!  
**METALLICA** (monotone): Sorry, not enough energy. Come back later.  
**BERYL:** D'oh!

**CUT TO:**

**TOMMY'S ROOM**  
Tommy (Animal Crossing) sits working on his computer.

**TOM NOOK** (OS, shout): Tommy! Come take out the trash!  
**TOMMY** (shout): Just a minute! (speak to self) I just have to set Kazaa to download "The Unforgiven II."

He clicks his mouse a few times.

**CUT TO:**

**METALLICA'S CHAMBER**  
Close-up of the computer monitor. A window is on the screen, titled "DATA ENERGY ACCUMULATED BY PEER TO PEER TROJAN YOUMAS." A number on the screen reads 999,999,999,999,994,285. It slowly clicks over to 1,000,000,000,000,106,341.

**METALLICA**: Okay, now I have enough.  
**BERYL:** Hot damn!  
**METALLICA** (clears throat, more evil voice) Now is the time to bring hatred and ambition to the earth! Queen Beryl! Destroy everything but yourself and make this a world of darkness!

Metallica's prison breaks, and the evil mist breaks free. It glows brightly and moves erratically down to Beryl, who screams as it enters her.

**CUT TO:**

**THRONE ROOM**  
Peach kneels by Mamoru's body.

**PEACH:** Nana... Samus... Daisy... Zelda... and now Mamoru. I won't let you down! You've protected me and got me this far - I'm going to go do it! Even if it kills me I'll do it. Watch over me... everyone.

The room shakes, and stones fall from the ceiling. Peach looks about in surprise, and then gets to her feet. She runs from the cave.

**CUT TO:**

**SNOWFIELD**  
The black smoke stops rising out of the Dark Kingdom's crater. A huge crack forms in the ice, and what appears to be a huge black plant rises out of the crack. It's leaves are folded around so that it is a sphere. The plant gets much, much bigger, until it's over 100 feet tall, and then it blooms. Beryl stands in the center of the plant, she too is now over 100 feet tall. Now that she is imbued with Queen Metallica's power she's mostly dressed in leather, has mad rock-chick hair, and a mean looking electric guitar hangs at her side, on a shoulder strap.  
She just smirks and glares at the camera.

**CUT TO:**

**ABOVE MUSHROOM KINGDOM - NIGHT**  
Lights are on all over The Muskroom Kingdom, but they suddenly start to go out block-by-block.

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE MARIO'S HOUSE**  
We can see MARIO, LUIGI, WARIO and YOSHI standing in the window. They're bunched together and look concerned - this is their last appearance for the rest of the fanfic, so enjoy it if you can. Camera pans up to the roof above the front door - LUNA and ARTEMIS sit on the roof. They too look concerned.

**ARTEMIS** (slowly to self): It's the end of the world... and I feel fine...  
**LUNA:** Oh no...

Luna bites back some tears, and runs for the edge of the roof. Artemis runs in front of her.

**ARTEMIS:** Woah, Luna! Where are you going?  
**LUNA:** We have to get to the arctic, Artemis! We have to stop the girls!  
**ARTEMIS:** There's nothing we can do!  
**LUNA:** But we must do something! If Peach fights Beryl and uses the Ginzoushou... she will... she'll die! Just like Queen Serenity did!  
**ARTEMIS** (quiet): But... then the world would be saved...

There's an awkward silence. Luna looks up at the sky.

**LUNA** (shout): Don't do it Peach! Don't use the Ginzoushou! You'll die!

**FADE OUT**


	10. Episode 8 Part Two Finale

**EXT: SNOWFIELD - AT THAT MOMENT**  
BERYL looks out over the snowfields.

**BERYL:** At last... the dark power is within me! Queen Metallica's power is my own! (spreads arms and laughs) The world is mine!

A quiet moment. A silhouette is seen in the distance. Beryl looks over her shoulder.  
PEACH walks slowly toward Beryl! She stops in front of Beryl and glares up at her.

**BERYL** (contempt): So you're finally here. This time, (raises hands) you will DIE!

Black lightning crackles in Beryl's hands, and she throws it down at Peach. The lightning hits Peach dead on. From a distance we see a huge pillar of ice rise from the spot where Peach was standing. Beryl stops throwing her lightning, and a moment later a platform suddenly appears at the top of the pillar.

**BERYL:** Huh?

**NINTENDO FAN PRESENTS**

A Super Mario Bros. / Sailor Moon crossover

**"PRETTY SOLDIER PEACH MOON"**  
Part 8b: The end of the end is the end! Bad J-Pop can fix anything, you know!

By Matthew O'Connell

Close-up of the platform. PRINCESS LEITHA stands on it, about 50 feet above the ground, holding the Moon Wand in front of her. As the name implies, she is dressed in the white dress she wore in the Moon Kingdom, and she has a crescent moon symbol on her forehead. The Ginzoushou glows brightly from it's place on the Moon Wand. Her eyes are closed.

**BERYL:** Impossible!

Leitha opens her eyes, and looks at the Moon Wand.

**LEITHA:** I've never felt comfortable with this thing.

She starts to twirl the wand quickly, passing it from hand to hand and doing all sorts of fancy stuff with it. She eventually passes it to her right hand and throws it straight up in the air.  
Follow the wand as it flies into the air. It glows brightly, and rapidly starts getting bigger. The wand's shape changes too - it twists itself into an S-shape, and one end gets much wider while the other gets a little smaller.  
It finally falls back down to Peach, and stops glowing... to reveal the MOON SAXOPHONE! It's a golden saxophone, with crescent moon symbols on each of the keys. The Ginzoushou is set into the metal, just below the mouthpiece.

**LEITHA:** Now, this is more like it!

Beryl grabs her guitar, and pulls out a guitar pick decorated with horns and claws.

**BERYL:** So that's the way you want to play it, brat? Fine! You'll regret it though!

The two stare at each other for several seconds. Bells toll in the background. The words CHARGE briefly appears on the screen in green letters.  
Beryl growls, and starts to play - she plays the first two bars of "Moonlight Densetsu!" (the guitar opening)

(Note to Sailor Moon fans - a MP3 of the Japanese Sailor Moon opening theme can be found here. Warning. It's in Japanese. This might go way over your heads if you havn't heard this theme 150+ times at the start of each episode. Also, a MP3 of English Sailor Moon Opening can be found somewhere like YouTube or so.)

As Beryl plays, a wave of dark energy shoots out from her guitar! The energy speeds toward Leitha, but she takes a deep breath and starts to play, playing the first 8 bars of "Moonlight Densetsu." (backup instruments, drums etc, come in at this point too. The style of the song is Jazz) As she does so, an equal force comes from her saxophone, which shields Leitha from the blast. Beryl's evil energy crackles off Leitha's shield, and the two are deadlocked. Leitha finishes playing, and sings the first verse.

**LEITHA:**

Well I'm sorry that I'm not the Princess,  
But I can say that only in my dreams,  
Did I think I could get into such weirdness,  
But it's ending right now.

Sometimes the speeches made me want to cry,  
The author shouldn't have wrote it after midnight,  
But I do good so this is what I can do,  
We need to end this grand rip-off.

She stops singing, and starts to play the sax again, playing the next part of the verse. While Leitha has been singing and as she plays the sax, her shield grows as she releases even more energy. Eventually she's drawing even with Beryl. But as Leitha plays the last few notes of her verse, Beryl deliberately plays some very loud and out of tune chords, distracting Leitha. Leitha stops playing.

**LEITHA:** What the...

The words ATTACK appear onscreen in Orange letters. Beryl starts to improvise a guitar solo as the drums and bass continue on a loop. Generally the style of the music changes to Rock. Leitha's shield shrinks rapidly - she's forced to hold the Moon-Saxophone in front of her as her only defense, as her shield is barely large enough to protect her.

**BERYL** (gloating): You! Now I remember you! You're that common child that Queen Serenity adored so much. Ha! They couldn't find the real princess, so they sent the substitute! How pathetic!  
**LEITHA:** Hey! Don't mock substitutes! Given the chance, a substitute can do a great job, trust me, I know!  
**BERYL:** Hmph. This is not your fight girl. You should not have come here.  
**LEITHA:** Not my fight? You're trying to destroy the world I live in! That makes it my fight, and everyone else's!

Beryl ends her solo with the 2-bar intro again. The musical style changes back to Jazz, as Leitha takes a breath and starts to sing again.

**LEITHA:**

So we'll be celebrating at the weekend  
Because I see a cliched happy end  
**I** came real close to beating big business!  
So I guess you don't stand a chance!

As she sings, Leitha's shield starts getting bigger again. Leitha takes a deep breath and starts to play her saxophone again, following the melody. The Ginzoushou glow brightly and the shield grows rapidly until she's equal to Beryl again, but Beryl plays bad chords again and throws Leitha off her rhythm.

**LEITHA:** Not again!

Musical style changes to rock, and Beryl starts improvising again. Leitha's shield shrinks rapidly, and once again she has to shield herself with the saxophone!

**BERYL:** Why? Why try to save this world?  
**LEITHA:** Because I still believe! I gotta believe!

Leitha's ice platform starts to crumble and break under Beryl's attack.

**BERYL:** In what? In love? In friendship? In trust?  
**LEITHA:** I believe in this world, and it's potential! And that it deserves better than destruction!  
**BERYL:** Fool! This world is foul and corrupt! It cannot be improved or redeemed! It never shall!

The ice on the ground breaks up under the pressure, creating a huge pit beneath both of them

**LEITHA:** No, you're wrong! Before any of this happened, I tried to change the world, and I'll keep trying after this! Changing the world isn't a job reserved for special people anyone can do it! Whether you clean pollution, become a cancer-research scientist, or be a Pretty Suited Soldier for Love and Justice, you can try to make the world a better place! And even if Luna takes my brooch away after this, I'll keep trying to make things better in other ways! And no cutting corners!  
**BERYL:** But in the end, it is only a few who matter - the Soldiers and their enemies! Nobody else has any meaning to his or her life without him or her!  
**LEITHA:** Not true! Because once you are defeated, there will still be pollution and cancer, at least for a while. Who has the stronger enemy, the Soldiers or those "meaningless" people?  
**BERYL** (angry): You... dare compare me with an oilspill? That does it! DIE!

Beryl plays louder. The force of her energy pushes Leitha backwards on her platform, and she staggers.

**LEITHA** (to self): Everyone... (Images of Nana, Samus, Daisy and Zelda pass over the screen) please... lend me your strength!

Music changes back to Jazz as a saxophone plays the 2-bar intro that ends Beryl's improvisation. The words FINAL appear onscreen in pink letters.  
Closeup of the saxophone - it has a symbol in it that resembles a O+ with ears.  
Closeup of some drumsticks hitting a drum set.  
Closeup of a gloved hand playing a bass guitar with a pick whose top is shaped like a 4.  
Closeup of a gloved hand spinning a microphone.

Long view of the entire platform. GHOST-NANA, GHOST-SAMUS, GHOST-DAISY and GHOST-ZELDA are behind Peach. Nana plays her Saxophone. Samus is sat at a drum kit. Daisy plays bass guitar. Zelda sings and dances a little.

**ZELDA** (sings): Looks like, we'll have her beat soon, (Daisy and Samus add harmony) Peeeachy-chan!

**CUT TO:**

**ROOF OF MARIO'S HOUSE**  
The music get quieter. LUNA and ARTEMIS are here, singing along. They sway in time to the beat.

**LUNA/ARTEMIS** (singing): We may have screwed up, but they've muddled though!

**CUT TO:**

**THE BATTLE**  
Music returns to normal volume. Everyone plays the two-bar segment together. Leitha's shield grows GREATLY. Beryl tries to throw in some duff chords, but she can't compete with the coordinated music of the Soldiers. Zelda takes over singing the melody, while Leitha starts wildly improvising a counter-melody on her saxophone.

**ZELDA:**

If we should count every star in the sky,  
It probably won't help us getting a great guy,

**NANA:** MURCURI POWA! (gem in tiara glows)  
**ZELDA:** Forget your crushes, go out and find your  
**SAMUS:** MARSU POWA! (gem in tiara glows)  
**ZELDA:** Miracle Romancu.  
**DAISY:** JUPITA POWA! (gem in tiara glows)

Leitha stops playing.

**LEITHA:** I do believe there is,  
**ZELDA:** VENUS POWA! (gem in tiara glows)  
**LEITHA:** A Miracle Romancu! (yells) MOOON PRISIMU POWA!

Penultimate note is held while Leitha speaks. Then she plays the final note of the song on the Moon Saxophone, LOUDLY.

**BERYL:** Huh? What the?

The Ginzoushou flares brightly as Leitha uses it's full power, and shoots a ball of energy at Beryl. The ball expands rapidly, until it's even bigger than Beryl, and then it consumes her.

**BERYL:** Huh? UWAAAAAAAAGH!

She fades away into nothing.

Peach's dress turns back into her Sailor uniform. The ghosts of her friends are already gone. (and Ghost-Samus is gone too, natch) Peach falls over backward, exhausted...

**PEACH:** Thanks... everyone...

She smiles, and dies.

**CUT TO:**

**FAR SHOT OF PEACH'S PLATFORM**  
The ball of energy is still growing. It reaches Peach's platform, and breaks the platform into pieces. Peach's body falls into the energy, followed by the Moon Saxophone, and they both disappear.

**CUT TO:**

**THRONE ROOM**  
ENDYMION'S body still lies on the floor. The energy breaks through the walls of the room, and consumes him...

**PEACH** (VO): I wake at 8 AM. School starts in an hour and I can't be late, so I get up.

**CUT TO:**

**VIEW OF THE EARTH FROM SPACE**  
The pink energy can clearly be seen from space now, over the arctic circle.

**PEACH** (VO): I go downstairs and eat. Dad is slouched in front of the TV, already drinking a beer. Mom washes the dishes, limiting herself to this house and not exploring her potential.

**CUT TO:**

**DAISY'S PILLAR**  
The energy ekes its way along the snowfields, consuming Daisy's pillar.

**PEACH** (VO): Mario saves me from Bowser and his men. Wario play pranks on me. Yet though I may resent my friends sometimes, I do love them. I would not change them for a queen or a king, or any number of princes and princesses.

**CUT TO:**

**NANA'S BODY**  
The energy continues along the snowfields, consuming Nana's dead body.

**PEACH** (VO): I go to school, and there I'm teased for being a nerd and a geek. But it doesn't matter because I'm a princess. The few friends I do have console me, try to cheer me up. They are the most precious things in the world to me.

**CUT TO:**

**ZELDA'S PILLAR**  
The energy consumes Zelda's pillar.

**PEACH** (VO): After school we head home, and I pass into the Good-E-Mart to pick up a copy of "Non-Threatening Boys." And for a little while my friends and I indulge our fantasies - however unlikely I may know they are.

**CUT TO:**

**SAMUS'S PILLAR**  
Energy consumes Samus's pillar.

**PEACH** (VO): After that, the last thing I do in the day is study. I am killing time you see, until I am old enough to change the world. Study, so that when you're older you can make a lasting difference. I live for the day I receive my Nobel Peace Prize. That's the right way for me to change the world.

**CUT TO:**

**SPACE AGAIN**  
The sphere of energy can now be very clearly seen.

**PEACH** (VO):

Family, friends, my future, these are the things that make me happy.  
That is the life of Princess Peach.  
The life I want back...

The moon eclipses the view of the earth.

**PEACH** (VO): The life I want back...

**MIX TO :**

**MUSHROOM KINGDOM SKYLINE**  
The moon turns into a crescent-moon shape, and we pull back to see the whole of the skyline. Dawn comes.

**EXT: PEACH'S CASTLE - MORNING**

**TOADSWORTH** (OS, shout): Peach! If you don't get up soon you'll miss the bus!

Zoom in to Peach's bedroom window.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S FLOOR - CLOSEUP OF LUNA**  
LUNA lies on the rug beside Peach's bed. She looks upset.

**LUNA** (sad, to self): You won't find her here, Toadsworth... she's... gone...  
**PEACH** (OS, interrupting, shouts): What? Coming mom!

A pair of bare feet land on the rug beside Luna. All we can see are the feet and the hem of a pink nightdress. Luna looks up in shock.

**LUNA** (to self): What the...

The feet move around Luna quickly, occasionally needing to dance around her and step over her. Their owner seems to be in a bit of a rush. The hem of the nightdress raises (we don't see past the knees, okay) and it is thrown to the floor - and soon replaced with a red dress with a spiky hem. Red shoes are pulled onto the feet. And then the feet bolt out of the door.

**LUNA** (shocked): But... but...

**CUT TO:**

**KITCHEN**  
KING TOADSTOOL, QUEEN TOADSTOOL, TOADSWORTH and MARIO sit around the table, eating breakfast. PEACH bursts into the room and grabs a slice of toast in one hand, and Mario's collar in the other.

**PEACH:** Come one Mario! If we don't move we'll miss the bus again!

Peach drags him out his chair and out the house.

**MARIO:** Urk!

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE THE HOUSE**  
Luna climbs out of Peach's window and heads up onto the roof, where she and ARTEMIS watch Lisa drag outside... just in time to miss the bus.

**PEACH:** Oh noooo...

She runs off down the street, dragging Mario behind her.

**MARIO:** But Peach (going into distance) I left my schoolbag...  
**ARTEMIS:** It's a miracle! The Dark Kingdom is gone... and everything is back the way it was!

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE CHURCH**  
Peach runs by in the background, dragging Mario. In the foreground, SAMUS is scrubbing the steps of the church, watched by CHOZO.

**CUT TO:**

**SECOND GRADE CLASSROOM - LATER**  
MS HAMASAKI walks around the classroom, handing out recent test papers. NAGISA turns to Peach, frowns, and holds up her test paper, which reads 9/20. Peach tries to look humble, but eventually holds up her test paper and smiles - 19/20. Nagisa glares at Peach, and Nana, who pops up from behind Peach with her own test paper and a big grin - 20/20, interrupts them both.  
Both Peach and Nagisa glare at Nana.

**NANA** (confused): What? What'd I do?

**CUT TO:**

**EIGHTH GRADE CLASSROOM**  
DAISY sits at a desk. ZELDA wanders into the classroom, looking confused.

**DAISY:** You look lost.  
**ZELDA:** I think I might be. I wasn't expecting to wake up in The Mushroom Kingdom this morning...

**CUT TO:**

**SCHOOL PLAYGROUND**  
Recess is on. Peach, Nana and Nagisa are being bullied by a bunch of 5th grade girls. One of them pushes over Nana, another pulls Peach's hair and a third grabs Nagisa by the collar and picks her up.

**BULLY**: Come on, where's your lunch money?  
**NAGISA:** Urk!

There is a loud cough from behind the bullies, and they turn to see Samus looking at them. She frowns and shakes her head. The bullies immediately put down Peach, Nana and Nagisa and dust their clothes off, before skulking off to find someone else to bully.  
Peach, Nagisa and Nana look at Samus, who just quietly nods at them and walks off.

**CUT TO:**

**STREETS**  
Daisy and Zelda walk home together.  
Whip pan to another street. Peach, Nana and Nagisa walk home together.  
Whip pan to another street. Samus rides sidesaddle on Mario's bike, as he pedals her to a street corner. She hops off the bike, and he closes his eyes and puckers his lips. Samus just rolls her eyes and walks away from him.

**CUT TO:**

**SPLIT SCREEN**  
Split screen showing all 3 groups. They all look up at once, as a black shadow falls over everyone.

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S GROUP**  
They look up at Eva-01 (Luigi's giant purple robot), which towers over the skyline. It wobbles, and starts to fall.

**LUIGI** (OS, filtered): Look out below!

It falls.

**CUT TO:**

**ROOF**  
Luna and Artemis wince at the BOOM that the falling Eva-01 makes as it hits the ground. Artemis shrugs his shoulders and turns to Luna.

**ARTEMIS** (embarrassed grin): Well, at least some things are back the way they were.

Luna laughs a little, and then becomes serious.

**LUNA:** But all the same... it's sad... the Ginzoushou brought them back to life, but they'll have lost their memories of their time together as Sailor Soldiers...  
**PEACH** (OS): Who said we'd lost our memories?

Luna and Artemis look down from the roof. Peach, Nana, Samus, Daisy and Zelda are grouped together beneath them.

**PEACH:** Sure it was weird, and embarrassing, occasionally traumatic, and didn't make much sense sometimes... but I made some friends, and it was fun, and in the end we did something good. Why would I want to forget that?

All the other girls nod and murmur their agreement.  
Luna jumps down from the roof, landing in front of Peach. Artemis follows her.

**ARTEMIS:** Heh. I had a feeling things would work out like this.  
**LUNA:** You did? How could you know something like that?  
**ARTEMIS:** Well, she did have the ultimate plot device. With that thing, a happy ending is practically guaranteed.  
**LUNA** (angry): You figured that out, and you didn't tell me? You just let me worry?  
**PEACH** (smile): You were worried, Luna? I... I thought you'd be angry.  
**LUNA** (angry): Angry? Of course I was angry! But... I was more worried. I didn't want to let you go because I thought you'd die!  
**PEACH:** Luna...  
**LUNA:** But now... I'm glad you went, (pause for emphasis) Sailor Moon.  
**NANA** (interrupting): Sooo... what happened to the Ginzoushou anyway?

Everyone looks at Peach.

**PEACH:** How should I know? I was dead when it disappeared... it could be anywhere.  
**ARTEMIS:** Well, it'll turn up again. Things like that can't stay hidden...

**CUT TO:**

**BACK ALLEY IN JUBANN WARD, TOKYO.**  
The alley is empty apart from a dumpster. After a moment the dumpster lid opens, and MAMORU climbs out. He's dressed in black trousers and his usual green jacket. Once in the alley, he looks at the dumpster.

**MAMORU:** Now how the heck did I get in there?

Mamoru puts his hands in his jacket pockets... and suddenly looks surprised. He pulls one hand out, to reveal that the Ginzoushou was in there...

**MAMORU:** The Ginzoushou has been left with me?

He wanders out into the street, obviously a little disoriented. As he walks he becomes aware that a large piece of paper from the dumpster is stuck to the sleeve of his jacket. Grimacing, he peels it off, rolls it up into a ball of paper, and casually throws it over his shoulder.

**CUT TO:**

**VIEW OF SOMEONE'S HAIR**  
The hair in question is blonde, and tied up in two balls on either side of the head. A long pigtail runs from each ball. The paper ball bounces off the person's head.

**CUT TO:**

**BACK TO MAMORU**  
Mamoru keeps walking, until...

**VOICE** (female, angry, OS): Hey! Watch where you're throwing that, Mister!

Mamoru turns and sees USAGI TSUKINO approaching him, murder on her mind.

**MAMORU** (contempt): Oh, it's just you, dumpling head.  
**USAGI**: Hey! For the last time, they are not dumplings!  
**MAMORU:** You should watch that temper, dumpling head. It doesn't make you look very ladylike.  
**USAGI**: Ladylike? I'll show you who are ladylike! (Sticks her tongue out and gives a raspberry)  
**MAMORU** (sigh): Okay, okay... (Turns away, looks at Ginzoushou) Now if you'll excuse me... (Looks back at her over shoulder) I have to find my Princess.

He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks away. Usagi stops doing her raspberry, and looks quite touched now.

**USAGI** (stunned): He's looking for... a Princess? (lovey dovey) How Romantic! (Realizes how she's acting) No wait, I am not getting a crush on that weirdo! (Glaring) Hate, hate, hate, hate him Usagi... (A pause, she gives up) Oooh, he's so handsome!

**CUT TO:**

**OUTSIDE PEACH'S CASTLE**  
Peach, Luna, Artemis, Nana, Samus, Daisy and Zelda are still here.

**SAMUS:** So that's it then?  
**ARTEMIS:** Yeah. The Dark Kingdom is gone.  
**SAMUS:** All right! Well, if you'll excuse me... (Pulls out a Paralyzer) I have the sudden urge to defeat Ridley. See you later!

She runs off.

**NANA:** Oh, I just remembered! We still have to find the eighth child! (Pulls out woollen hat and puts it on head) Sorry to run guys, I'll see you later!

She runs off.

**ZELDA** (to Artemis): So Artemis, how are we going to get back home to Hyrule?  
**ARTEMIS:** I... don't know. The plane to the Mushroom Kingdom and renting the apartment for you and Link was the last straw; I'm out of money.  
**ZELDA:** What? But... that means we're stranded here! What will we do?  
**ARTEMIS** (starts walking away): Well, I know I'm off to the benefit office. I don't know about you Minako... you might need to get a job or something...  
**ZELDA** (following him): A job? I can't get a job...

They walk away. Peach looks up at Daisy.

**DAISY:** Well, I think I'll just head home. I've had enough Shoujo weirdness for a lifetime...  
**VOICE** (loud, female): Please... help save our world... Legendary Magic Knights!  
**DAISY:** Uh oh...

Daisy falls through the grass. Peach watches her go.

**PEACH** (hands on hips): Well, it's nice to see things are starting to get back to normal!  
**LUNA:** So Peach... what will you do now?  
**PEACH:** Try to get back to being an average princess... or at least as close as you can get to that nowadays. What about you Luna?  
**LUNA:** I'm afraid I'll have to go now. I still have to find the Princess.  
**PEACH** (bend down, fondly): Well... good luck, Luna, and thanks for the weird ride!  
**LUNA:** No. Thank you for finally being the right girl, Peach! Even if I didn't see it And by the way... you can keep the brooch.  
**PEACH:** Don't you need it back Luna?  
**LUNA:** I'll tell you a secret, Peach... those things are a dime a dozen at Magical-Girls-R-Us.  
**PEACH:** Ah...

**CUT TO:**

**PEACH'S ROOM**  
Peach sits on her bed, playing her trumpet. NAGISA sits against the wall, reading a copy of Non-Threatening-Boys.

**NAGISA:** Hey, Peach! Check this out! (Holds up a picture of Ike from Fire Emblem) He's cute!

Peach stops playing, looks at the picture, and smiles.

**PEACH:** Ah, I think I'll stop getting that magazine... from now on, I'm reserving all my crushes for boys I can actually meet!

Peach starts playing again.

**NAGISA:** Oh? Well, you never know Peachy-Chan! He could be the boy of your dreams!

Peach stops playing again.

**PEACH:** My dreams? Sorry Nagisa... I've already got a dream!  
**NAGISA:** Oh?

Peach thinks for a moment, and the silhouette of a caped man wearing a tuxedo hovers behind her...

**PEACH:** Just when everything looks bad, a...

There is a cough from below Peach. She looks down, and sees a small white cat on her bed. This cat stands on its hind legs, and wears a pair of tiger-like gloves.

**PEACH:** Huh? A cat?  
**CAT**: Excuse me, my name's Gatomon. You wouldn't be the eighth child, would you?  
**PEACH** (suspicious): This isn't for a weird adventure, is it?  
**GATOMON**: Ah, sort of...

Peach glares strongly at Gatomon. She moves quickly, and pulls a HAMMER out of nowhere, which she waves menacingly at Gatomon.

**PEACH:** Sorry. I'm already taken.  
**GATOMON** (sweatdrop): Um... okay...! Sorry to bother you! (Running from the Hammer (from Donkey Kong the arcade game)) Bye!  
**NAGISA:** What was that about? Man, those things are getting everywhere!

**THE END**

**YOSHI:** That's all folks!


End file.
